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Old 05-06-2009, 03:05 PM   #69
canadiyank
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Default Re: Discussion of "Dealing With Disappointment" by Elizabeth Crary

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jeanette598
Not canadiyank, but ... whining is not a feeling, it's a behavior. The idea is that we should validate emotions but work with the child to figure out more appropriate ways of expressing those emotions. So if my child is whining, the emotion behind it might be frustration or disappointment. It's okay for her to feel those things, but not helpful to express them through whining.
Right. The whole point of this is to redirect the unacceptable expressions into ones that are self-calming, helpful, etc. for dealing with the feelings *behind* the behaviour.

So Chris, you did exactly the right thing - helping him find a physical outlet (outdoor exercise) that was helpful, that replaced an unacceptable one (beating on things).
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