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Old 04-21-2012, 10:57 PM   #391
GlobalMama
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Bethany. What's going on with her behavior that's difficult right now? I know that when I know what's age appropriate or have tools in my box, it makes me a lot less angry.
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Old 04-27-2012, 02:05 PM   #392
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I struggle at times with my temper too, mostly at my husband I'm afraid. For me I think I set myself up for this by setting unrealistic goals. When my to do list is too long I get frustrated, then angry. I was just reading a blog post by SaraMae.com. In it she encourages us moms to read he scriptures for 1 minute each day, before we read anything else. I think renewing our minds in God's word can help. I know it helps me.
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Old 04-28-2012, 08:28 AM   #393
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Temper struggler here too. I also was raised in a very militant household and I vowed NEVER to act like that. Yet when things get stressful the most often played tapes (ones from childhood) are the things that come out. I hate it, I really do. I would cry to the Lord and to my husband many times and say this isn't who I want to be. pharmaceutical mention
I just want to be patient and even keeled all the time! The thing that helps me is not overloading my day. I take care of meals, and basic cleaning and schooling with the children but I no longer try and keep a perfect home with super gourmet meals and whatnot. And food. Man alive I can get really impatient if my blood sugar drops!
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Old 04-28-2012, 10:14 AM   #394
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

How have I not joined this thread before?

I really struggle with yelling, and my biggest trigger is noise. So for example tonight I'm busy cooking dinner for the kids, I feel perfectly calm but the kids are underfoot in the kitchen and they're fighting and screaming and yelling at each other - and I bottle up my frustration with it and then BAM! I explode at them.

I need to get better at identifying that the noise level is bothering me, and redirect them or get help from dh or whatever BEFORE it overwhelms me. I almost never yell except when there is a lot of noise, but with a 2yo and a 5yo there is often a lot of noise.
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Old 04-28-2012, 12:00 PM   #395
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by CapeTownMommy View Post
How have I not joined this thread before?

I really struggle with yelling, and my biggest trigger is noise. So for example tonight I'm busy cooking dinner for the kids, I feel perfectly calm but the kids are underfoot in the kitchen and they're fighting and screaming and yelling at each other - and I bottle up my frustration with it and then BAM! I explode at them.

I need to get better at identifying that the noise level is bothering me, and redirect them or get help from dh or whatever BEFORE it overwhelms me. I almost never yell except when there is a lot of noise, but with a 2yo and a 5yo there is often a lot of noise.
ITU the noise thing!
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Old 04-28-2012, 03:24 PM   #396
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I hear you on the noise thing as well. I always say that the two things that push me over edge are visual clutter and noise. And I have a toddler. No wonder I've joined this thread.
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Old 04-28-2012, 06:30 PM   #397
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by CapeTownMommy View Post
How have I not joined this thread before?

I really struggle with yelling, and my biggest trigger is noise. So for example tonight I'm busy cooking dinner for the kids, I feel perfectly calm but the kids are underfoot in the kitchen and they're fighting and screaming and yelling at each other - and I bottle up my frustration with it and then BAM! I explode at them.

I need to get better at identifying that the noise level is bothering me, and redirect them or get help from dh or whatever BEFORE it overwhelms me. I almost never yell except when there is a lot of noise, but with a 2yo and a 5yo there is often a lot of noise.
This is me exactly too -- the kitchen is the most likely room for me to lose my cool. I really can't stand even the kids talking to me while I'm trying to do something. I just can't think when I'm being yammered at by my 4 yo!
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Old 04-28-2012, 06:32 PM   #398
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

yeah, i've discovered that the clutter depresses me, and the noise really bothers me and i explode when there is alot of both(which is like all the time). I'm getting better at mentioning to the kids that the volume is too loud for me, and they are getting better at keeping to their indoor voices, but my 5yr old talks and talks and talks, that can drain me too.
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Old 05-02-2012, 04:54 PM   #399
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

for all you noise sufferers try a pair of earplugs. Not in so far you can't hear emergency screaming but enough to dampen the noise. When you start to notice it, you can ask/redirect the kids to lower their volumes as well.

It's hard to not come unglued when it's hitting you from all sides and you just need two minutes to *THINK*
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Old 05-03-2012, 04:25 AM   #400
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

This week, I've set myself up for success by not being home alone with the girls. I'm deep in the grieving process and I know that when I'm having big feelings and they get loud or hyper or whiney I tend to lose it and yell.

I also know that if they're distracted, they are less likely to become any of the above.

I also know that if I have an audience it's easier to stay calm.

So, I've set us up for success by being out every day. It's been working. My house is a disaster but I'm not yelling.
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Old 05-07-2012, 08:27 PM   #401
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

help. i'm here now too.

my dd is a screamer. she screams so loud and long over the smallest think you would think someone was constantly torturing her or her leg was broken.

lately she has been boycotting sleep. we are trying to figure out the reason, but in the mean time, she screams bloody murder in my ears when she doesn't get her way or i am trying to put her to bed.

it triggers my anger, my yelling, and i have also allowed myself to say sarcastic, dismissive and mean things to her when she is being dramatic and carrying on with her screaming. it also triggers me to ignore her... which only makes her talk more/faster/louder.

another trigger is not listening to me when she's in danger and i've given her the same instructions 50 times before. i know she's immature and clearly does not remember my rules, but as irrational as she's being in those moments, i'm being just as irrational. this is less of an angry yell and more of a get her attention but irritated none the less yell.

i also cannot believe i have let myself become this way as a parent. it is surreal to hear the sounds and words that can come out of my mouth. my father was incredibly mean and yelled a lot. he was verbally abusive and i vowed never to be that way. but what's ive become is passive and passive aggressive and i almost think i should check myself in therapy to deal with it.

it feels good to have a place to get this out of me. even typing this out makes me feel like at least i'm trying to stop... at least i'm not just being ashamed and keeping it inside.

lately the words, "don't yell crystal. don't lose control. keep it together... figure out a solution" have been running through my head which is a break through. before i just had feelings in my body and let that be what controlled the words that came out of my mouth.

---------- Post added at 11:27 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:08 PM ----------

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tandem mama View Post
I also know that if I have an audience it's easier to stay calm.

this is the same for me. sometimes i wish i lived in community just for this reason. i know i wouldn't feel free to lash out if there were others around me to keep me accountable to my actions.

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Old 05-10-2012, 08:40 PM   #402
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Oh, thank God for this thread! I am a yeller. Yup, guilty here. I will be reading through this as i need help in this department...I dont even understand why i act the way i do, at times, because i am totally into APing...I could blame it on my family and how they deal with things....see, i come from a long line of screamers but i need to change and find other ways to get it all out....I dont know why i do it because seconds later i feel so mean and guilty, especially when DS1 looks me square in the face....its quite sad to see him that way...Lord Help me!
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Old 06-21-2012, 12:17 PM   #403
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Has this thread been moved somewhere? It's gone dead quiet here suddenly.

PM me if there's other thread for it
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Old 06-21-2012, 03:19 PM   #404
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Oh, wow. I yell and I hate. Grateful for this thread.
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Old 06-22-2012, 06:11 AM   #405
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by urbanfamily View Post
Has this thread been moved somewhere? It's gone dead quiet here suddenly.

PM me if there's other thread for it
I'm still here...and needing support lately.
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