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Baby Wearing (Slings, Etc.)  *Public* A public forum. |
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04-30-2012, 08:33 PM
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#1 |
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Rose Garden
  Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 6,790
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I felt judged by a baby wearer today.
This is probably my own insecurities but I was walking downtown today with my 3 mo (not in a sling) and there was a younger woman with her baby in a sling. She didn't make eye contact and said something to the guy with her like "he's so comfy". I wanted to turn around and say "my baby won't go in a sling!". She won't. I have tried 6 different slings and she fusses as soon as I put her in.
 I think I judged before. Again she might not have been but I felt sad.
__________________
Krissy Married to my loving husband for 13 years  I have 4 kids.  Gave birth to my J-bird 9 yrs ago (ds) Homebirthed my LuLu 6 yrs ago (dd) Homebirthed my Punkin' seed (and Great Grandma's namesake) 3 years ago. (dd) And had our newest arrival, JellyBean 1 year ago. (dd) I still miss my Great Grandma every single day. I'm not ready to take her picture out of my avi. She feels closer this way.
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04-30-2012, 08:59 PM
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#2 |
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Rose Garden
   grace is for mamas too
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Seattle
Posts: 15,936
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Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today.
awww....
 that stinks.and she probably was judging you, in order to rationalize and justify her own choices, to build herself up. why do we do that to each other?????? 
__________________
 PhD student and research assistant by day,
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04-30-2012, 09:06 PM
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#3 |
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Rose Garden
A little bit crunchy, a little bit rock n' roll!
Join Date: May 2011
Posts: 8,022
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Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today.
I've gotten dirty looks from mamas carrying car seats when I'm wearing my baby. I think it goes both ways, and it's just what moms tend to do, whether they mean to or not.
I sometimes avoid eye contact with a mom carrying a car seat when I'm wearing my baby so that I don't get that judged feeling. 
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kat wearer of short shorts, lover of mondays and fairy of hair wife to my best friend since october 2004 mama to two precious girls "yaya"~ may 2009 "whozits"~ february 2012
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05-09-2012, 03:33 PM
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#4 |
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Rose Bush
 Join Date: May 2012
Location: Chicago, IL (suburbs)
Posts: 440
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Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today.
Heh... I'm just the opposite. I catch someone giving me stink-eye, or pointedly Not. Looking., I will stare right back until they get the hint. Most folks know it's rude to stare, and they're embarrassed to be caught, so they scurry off.
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I have one child, he's just toddling, and everything I know about kids comes from books and babysitting.  So if I say something painfully naive, feel free to smile and shake your head as you laugh quietly to yourself.  ISFP. I-84, S-60, F-51, P-53 Laura John, married in 2006JJ -  '11, a.k.a. "" Daily Bread in Franklin Park - my home-based Chicago-land bakery, specializing in breads, cakes, and cookies of all kinds! |
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05-09-2012, 03:46 PM
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#5 |
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Rose Trellis
  Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3,044
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Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today.
I've felt that way. I know it's usually my problem and not theirs, but I still feel it.
I just can't babywear. Period. I do things like bash my kids heads into door frames when I try.  Even on GCM sometimes I feel bad, because that's sort of the go-to answer when you aren't getting anything done. I don't get as much done, but my carried babies are well attached and happy. 
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Hope Single mama, cultural creative, replanter of Eden.  |
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05-09-2012, 04:01 PM
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#6 | |
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Rose Garden
 It is good to be Queen!
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Nothin' could be finer...
Posts: 7,863
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Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today.
Quote:
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Married to B since 1990 & Mothering D since 1994, M since 1996, E since 2000, R since 2002, and MM since 2005. "There is the great lesson of 'Beauty and the Beast'; that a thing must be loved before it is lovable." G.K. Chesterson |
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05-09-2012, 04:17 PM
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#7 |
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Moderator
 Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: If you see garbage cans decorated with sidewalk chalk, I might live there
Posts: 18,673
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Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today.
I've said that myself a million times for as many reasons, none of which include judging other moms. It could have been me you passed, just blissfully enjoying my baby without giving much notice to anyone else.
I'm sorry your baby isn't comfortable.
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Amy  & Dh  married December 2000 GAPS-Inator Blessed with three boys: Big Guy -- 9 years old Peanut -- 7 years old!  Dimples -- 22 months old!
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05-09-2012, 05:15 PM
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#8 | |
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Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 7,255
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Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today.
Quote:
It sounds like your own insecurities coming out.  I don't think it sounds like the other woman did anything wrong.
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05-13-2012, 11:45 AM
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#9 |
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Rose Bouquet
 Crimson and Clover, Over and Over
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Canada
Posts: 538
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Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today.
I just sometimes get jealous when I see those moms who so easily sling their babies around.
I keep trying, and I'm hoping with my new sling I'll be able to carry Pip around more - but I do understand that judgemental feeling for sure. Peace, -Jenny
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"The most precious jewels you'll ever have around your neck are the arms of your children." Wife to the Frenchman, Mama to my Miss E (1 year) Eco-friendly, baby-wearing, yoga-doing, belly-dancing, line-drying, one-car owning, extended breast-feeding, cloth-diapering, small-town hippie, happy-complimentarian and ESFJ PM me to connect with other Complementarian/WoS ladies! Blog: "Small Town Hippies" 
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05-13-2012, 12:03 PM
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#10 |
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Rose Garden
love.
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Upstairs Facing Due South...SUNSHINE!
Posts: 7,950
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Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today.
dd3 doesn't like to be worn either. It feels so weird after 2 babies who often needed to be worn to fall asleep.
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Hannah JOY DYT 3/4? Married to Ryan (ESFJ DYT 1/4) best friend since age 4. Wife and partner since 2005  GF, DF (except raw), corn avoiding, traditional cooking, peace living, unhomeschooly, HBACing, knit loving Mama to my joys.... R Joy DYT 2/3 (12/07) C/S A Joy DYT 3/1 (8/09) HBAC P Joy DYT 1/4 (1/12) HWBAC Three  I loveI blog www.mamaOjoy.blogspot.com (Side Lying NAK wreaks havoc on my |
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05-13-2012, 01:14 PM
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#11 |
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Rose Garden
Watch out! I'm exuberant!
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Rural Saskatchewan, Canada
Posts: 6,999
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Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today.
That stinks. Thanks for posting.  I hope I haven't made anyone feel like that....  I usually try to put on a nice smile and an understanding look...hopefully it doesn't come across as judgemental
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 Holistically raising kids and cows with my Lunatic Rancher husband Broth-brewing, kefir-pushing mama to: little Type 2 cowboy Pip (3) - "shoo we go fencin?" and ECing little dinosaur girl Pop (1) - "blub dub ra GUB!" Me: Type 3/1 and ESTJ (Te/Si/Ne/Fi) DH: Type 2/4 and ISFP (Fi/Se/Ni/Te)...or ISTP? (Ti/Ne/Si/Fe)  Standing for our sweet GCMs leaving abuse behind |
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05-13-2012, 01:49 PM
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#12 |
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Moderator
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 6,902
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Re: I felt judged by a baby wearer today.
Feeling judged doesn't feel good.
My dd couldn't stand the sling either much to my dismay.
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CHARLA ISFJ Married to my beloved husband for 20 years Mommy to my treasured son (12) and my precious daughter (9) and my three cherished babies in heaven |
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