I do not understand what the problem is

StewardofLOs · 01-24-2018, 02:09 PM

I wasn't sure where to put this and I wanted to avoid a public forum, but I'll just try to avoid personal details

DH co-owns a martial arts studio. After hearing from his co-worker/co-owner that a student they have may be in an abusive relationship, I thought it would be a good idea to put up one of those domestic violence awareness posters in the bathroom, with information about our local domestic violence prevention organization. And then I thought why not put a suicide prevention poster up as well? Considering their student population is ages 5-105, I thought the information would be relevant yet non-instrusive.

Well apparently NO ONE agrees. His co-owner says that the studio is "not the place for that." DH has talked to other martial arts school owners he knows and they also disagree. However, they can't actually haven't given any reasons to why this isn't a good idea.

Oh wait, DH just shared one response that basically said that "their students come to be empowered and don't want to be reminded of those things."

So ladies.....what are your thoughts?

Soliloquy · 01-24-2018, 02:11 PM

They're part of the problem.

Put up the posters.

bananacake · 01-24-2018, 02:13 PM

Yikes, wow! I wonder if any of these owners are women/moms?

HadassahSukkot · 01-24-2018, 02:24 PM

Put up the posters. In every bathroom.

StewardofLOs · 01-24-2018, 02:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Soliloquy

They're part of the problem.

Put up the posters.

EXACTLY my thinking.

Quote:

Originally Posted by bananacake

Yikes, wow! I wonder if any of these owners are women/moms?

DH's co-owner is both.

But all the rest are men ages 50+

MudPies · 01-24-2018, 02:36 PM

My church even has them in the bathrooms!!

---------- Post added at 04:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:35 PM ----------

Oh part of becoming empowered is reaching out to resources. So seems like they would be for the posters.

I’d be like exactly!! We agree that they may need empowering and resoirces. Perfect! Thanks!!

MegMarch · 01-24-2018, 02:37 PM

Knowing of and accessing resources is empowering. Learning one is not alone is empowering. Learning that the hard parts of a relationship are abuse and not your fault or all in your mind is empowering.

StewardofLOs · 01-24-2018, 04:12 PM

Thank you to those who replied so quickly. I just wanted to make sure I wasn't missing some other perspective. There's no asking for money nothing I can see from a legal standpoint....

I just absolutely cannot understand this "head-in-the-sand" way of thinking.

I admit, this is personal for me for several reasons, not the least of which being that my sister would most likely still be alive if everyone around her except for me hadn't refused to see what was right in front of them.

I have several former students who committed suicide or tried. I know from personal experience how one little thing, like a poster saying "you are enough," can keep you alive even one more day.

---------- Post added at 06:12 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:17 PM ----------

Quote:

Originally Posted by MegMarch

Knowing of and accessing resources is empowering. Learning one is not alone is empowering. Learning that the hard parts of a relationship are abuse and not your fault or all in your mind is empowering.

I’ve made some bullet points to help DH with his talk with his business partner tomorrow. I hope you don’t mind but I pretty much quoted you

CelticJourney · 01-24-2018, 04:18 PM

Knowledge is power/being empowered, so there is NO reason anyone should have objected to such posters. Is the co-owner willing to address the abuse problem directly? If not, I guess she isn't very empowered to help unless it's by physical force.

Maedchen · 01-24-2018, 04:21 PM

I hope you can convince them to change their minds. Think of the kids in CA where the 1 child went to college classes but the mom stood outside the door. If a sign had been in the rest room with a phone number, who knows if it would have helped.

It might not be one of their students, but one of the moms or dads that needs to be reminded not to give up.

It could just been someone that stops by and uses the facilities that needs the extra knowledge.

If it doesn't help anyone, at least you know that you have tried.

If it only helps 1 person, then it was worth its weight in gold that it was put up to prevent suicide or further abuse.

WaitPatientlyOnTheLord · 01-24-2018, 04:32 PM

I honestly cannot imagine any reason not to have that info. Here I see posters like that in doctors offices, libraries, school bathrooms, restaurants, etc.

I'd be tempted to put the signed on there with tear away info tags so they can see some of the tags WILL be taken. But then again I bet a lot of people just take a picture with their phones now...

MaySunflowers · 01-25-2018, 01:08 AM

They are relevant anywhere and hanging them in a bathroom is a great non intrusive non cluttering place for them! Also gives people privacy to look.

Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk

Love_Is_Patient · 01-25-2018, 11:36 AM

The only issue I can see is elementary age kids, who can read but who may not be ready to deal with the fact that these things happen. When my oldest was that age it would have bothered me slightly if he was exposed to the idea of abuse or suicide like that. Not necessarily a reason not to do it though.

StewardofLOs · 01-25-2018, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Love_Is_Patient

The only issue I can see is elementary age kids, who can read but who may not be ready to deal with the fact that these things happen. When my oldest was that age it would have bothered me slightly if he was exposed to the idea of abuse or suicide like that. Not necessarily a reason not to do it though.

I can see that as being a possible concern (though it has not been given as a reason by any of these owners. I honestly don't think their concern has anything to do with their students, but more to do with what is "appropriate" to talk about I'm public)

Nothing on the suicide awareness posters explicitly mentions committing suicide. (They are from TWLOHA).

The domestic abuse posters list warning signs to look out for in a relationship to determine if it might be abusive.

These posters have opened conversations with my own children (8 and 10) about those issues. It seemed to fit right in with our convos about consent and listening to our bodies and knowing when to get help. Considering puberty is right around the corner, I thought these conversations to be highly age appropriate.

One owner said he teaches mainly adults so doesn't see a reason to have things like that

HadassahSukkot · 01-25-2018, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by StewardofLOs

One owner said he teaches mainly adults so doesn't see a reason to have things like that

Adults have these problems.

01-24-2018, 02:09 PM	#1
StewardofLOs Rose Trellis "What if Your blessings come through raindrops? What if Your healing comes through tears?" Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: southwest VA Posts: 2,649	I do not understand what the problem is I wasn't sure where to put this and I wanted to avoid a public forum, but I'll just try to avoid personal details DH co-owns a martial arts studio. After hearing from his co-worker/co-owner that a student they have may be in an abusive relationship, I thought it would be a good idea to put up one of those domestic violence awareness posters in the bathroom, with information about our local domestic violence prevention organization. And then I thought why not put a suicide prevention poster up as well? Considering their student population is ages 5-105, I thought the information would be relevant yet non-instrusive. Well apparently NO ONE agrees. His co-owner says that the studio is "not the place for that." DH has talked to other martial arts school owners he knows and they also disagree. However, they can't actually haven't given any reasons to why this isn't a good idea. Oh wait, DH just shared one response that basically said that "their students come to be empowered and don't want to be reminded of those things." So ladies.....what are your thoughts? __________________ Christina INTJ, T4 former high school teacher turned homeschool mom married 12 yrs to DH ENFP, T1 currently battling hemeralopia-induced blindness and chronic pain for the 3rd time mama to five: 10.5yo DS (my serious T4) 8yo DD (my sparkly T1) 3.5yo DD (my precious T2) one I will hold in heaven Last edited by StewardofLOs; 01-24-2018 at 02:21 PM.

01-24-2018, 02:11 PM	#2
Soliloquy Rose Garden Why climb a mountain? Because it's there! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Selkirk Mountains Posts: 52,860	Re: I do not understand what the problem is They're part of the problem. Put up the posters.

01-24-2018, 02:13 PM	#3
bananacake Rose Garden I Am A BananaCake Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Northeast US Posts: 25,118	Re: I do not understand what the problem is Yikes, wow! I wonder if any of these owners are women/moms? __________________ Brenna 3 kiddos (16 1/2, 14 & 9) Praying for semi-son, age 35 I live by the motto: seek first to understand. "Fools find no pleasure in understanding but delight in airing their own opinions." Proverbs 18:2

01-24-2018, 02:24 PM	#4
HadassahSukkot Deactivated being oppressed means the absence of choices - bell hooks Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Germany Posts: 8,892	Re: I do not understand what the problem is Put up the posters. In every bathroom.

01-24-2018, 02:36 PM	#6
MudPies Moderator My kiddos Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: What is a Hoosier???? Posts: 9,978	Re: I do not understand what the problem is My church even has them in the bathrooms!! ---------- Post added at 04:36 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:35 PM ---------- Oh part of becoming empowered is reaching out to resources. So seems like they would be for the posters. I’d be like exactly!! We agree that they may need empowering and resoirces. Perfect! Thanks!! __________________ Kathy , INFJ Loving Wife to Hubby since 8/97 Mama to Dink 12/06 Link 7/07 Wink 3/10 Pink 12/10 and Tink 5/16 Remembering

01-24-2018, 02:37 PM	#7
MegMarch Rose Garden Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 5,922	Re: I do not understand what the problem is Knowing of and accessing resources is empowering. Learning one is not alone is empowering. Learning that the hard parts of a relationship are abuse and not your fault or all in your mind is empowering.

01-24-2018, 04:18 PM	#9
CelticJourney Administrator Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 34,561	Re: I do not understand what the problem is Knowledge is power/being empowered, so there is NO reason anyone should have objected to such posters. Is the co-owner willing to address the abuse problem directly? If not, I guess she isn't very empowered to help unless it's by physical force. __________________ Elizabeth "Truth without love is divisive and hurtful & love without truth is anemic"--Pastor Estep Arise, cry out in the night...pour out your heart like water in the presence of the Lord; Lift up your hands to him for the lives of your children..; Lamentations 2:19

01-24-2018, 04:21 PM	#10
Maedchen Rose Trellis Join Date: Feb 2012 Posts: 2,482	Re: I do not understand what the problem is I hope you can convince them to change their minds. Think of the kids in CA where the 1 child went to college classes but the mom stood outside the door. If a sign had been in the rest room with a phone number, who knows if it would have helped. It might not be one of their students, but one of the moms or dads that needs to be reminded not to give up. It could just been someone that stops by and uses the facilities that needs the extra knowledge. If it doesn't help anyone, at least you know that you have tried. If it only helps 1 person, then it was worth its weight in gold that it was put up to prevent suicide or further abuse.

01-24-2018, 04:32 PM	#11
WaitPatientlyOnTheLord Rose Garden I'm most definitely an INFJ. ;-) Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: New England, USA Posts: 7,264	Re: I do not understand what the problem is I honestly cannot imagine any reason not to have that info. Here I see posters like that in doctors offices, libraries, school bathrooms, restaurants, etc. I'd be tempted to put the signed on there with tear away info tags so they can see some of the tags WILL be taken. But then again I bet a lot of people just take a picture with their phones now...

01-25-2018, 01:08 AM	#12
MaySunflowers Deactivated Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: UK Posts: 7,781	Re: I do not understand what the problem is They are relevant anywhere and hanging them in a bathroom is a great non intrusive non cluttering place for them! Also gives people privacy to look. Sent from my EVA-L09 using Tapatalk

01-25-2018, 11:36 AM	#13
Love_Is_Patient Rose Trellis Join Date: May 2005 Posts: 2,025	Re: I do not understand what the problem is The only issue I can see is elementary age kids, who can read but who may not be ready to deal with the fact that these things happen. When my oldest was that age it would have bothered me slightly if he was exposed to the idea of abuse or suicide like that. Not necessarily a reason not to do it though. Last edited by Love_Is_Patient; 01-26-2018 at 06:23 AM.

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