Toddlers and Obedience

[milkmommy]

both mine were super "obedient" at two at three umm not so much that pattern went on till about 4.5ish then we say a shift back with a window of greatness from around age 5-7 then a shift back to testing things till around 9-10 then a climb up wards their after. I think all was age appropiate some needed us to bea bit firmer (but not cruel) other times we jut enjoyed the easy kid. and many in the middles...
Over the years our discipline included times I did things I'm not proud of.. Those moments didn't produce more obedient kids. Honestly neither did me being extra gentle and understanding.. I came with age and maturity.. When younger it came because they simpily didn't get they had the choice and pleasing mommy was big. That along wit the fact it was VERY rare for us to expect something outside of normal child development. As they got older those boundaries got tested and equaliberian goes askew. We reigned things in adjusted made mistakes and tried again... There bodies and minds matured their understanding of faith family and how other should be treated grew and "obdience" naturaly improved.

[Codi]

Here's the thing, some two year olds listen often, some don't. I'll jump off a limb here and say most don't.

You can choose to spank and redirect a million times or you can choose to redirect and teach a million times. Either way you're going to do it over and over. And at the end of the day, you get to choose how the interaction between you and your child will go. Will it bring connection or cause a disconnect? Will it speak to their heart and help the future them or will it stir fear of you in them?

As far as in laws having their two cents, I have a whole lot of experience with that. When my ds1 was a baby my in laws were surprised to find out that their dreams of getting to baby sit from day 1 were not going to be reality and they had major issues overstepping into our territory. We let it build being scared to make clear our boundaries which resulted in a big blow up where we didn't see them for months. It was really hard. After we had a big pow wow where we got to set our boundaries and explained how we'd be parenting, the relationship built back up over time and got better and stronger.

You can avoid all the blow up by setting clear boundaries now. And yes, get very good at bean dipping!

[LovingMummy]

Originally Posted by Codi

Here's the thing, some two year olds listen often, some don't. I'll jump off a limb here and say most don't.

You can choose to spank and redirect a million times or you can choose to redirect and teach a million times. Either way you're going to do it over and over. And at the end of the day, you get to choose how the interaction between you and your child will go.

This is so true, as someone who (ashamedly) spanked her toddlers for not obeying, it doesn't work- at least not for more than a couple of hours! I now much prefer re directing.