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Old 01-28-2015, 06:36 PM   #1
Redeemed
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Question Gentle Discipline and ABA therapy

DS1 is autistic. When he was first dx, he was pretty high functioning, now he seems to be moderately functioning in a behavioral sense. He has a re-evaluation in a month. He will also be doing ABA therapy specifically for the ODD like behavior.

How can we integrate ABA therapy with gentle parenting?
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Old 01-29-2015, 06:03 AM   #2
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Default Re: Gentle Discipline and ABA therapy

We do ABA with J and it has been life-changing. Biomed has helped his body be healthier and his mind work better, but ABA is increasing his receptive language and giving him skills that he otherwise wouldn't be learning.

We have had both a bad behaviorist and a good one, and I can tell you that a bad behaviorist can be a very bad thing, but if you have a good one then ABA and gentle parenting should not be at odds with one another. Yes, there is a lot of "I hear your protests, but it's not going to get you out of doing this thing that you need to do," but that's a helpful life lesson anyway.
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Old 01-29-2015, 09:19 AM   #3
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Default Re: Gentle Discipline and ABA therapy

The things i have heard about ABA leave me not comfortable with it and not something we chose to use.

While there were some things that I was adamant that my child would do - with or without my help - they were things related to safety, and literally non-negotiable things. When it came to other things I was more focused on honoring him as a person, giving him a voice, and earning his trust.

It has been very worth it in every area.

There are times where I would have appreciated more help, and it's good to hear that someone had a good experience with it, but that is not what I normally hear.
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Old 01-29-2015, 10:47 AM   #4
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Default Re: Gentle Discipline and ABA therapy

Maybe it depends on their level of functioning? J is pretty low functioning, and this is the only way he's finally started to learn basic things like responding to his name, stop, come here, etc. We are going to be working soon on elopement and noncompliance, because they are both BIG safety issues for him.

But my amazing friend/behaviorist has two higher functioning boys and ABA has without a doubt changed the course of their lives. She's done very minimal biomed, and both of her boys have lost their diagnoses. She still uses ABA principles in her homeschooling and to work with her boys on higher level tasks like working memory and conversation skills. One was asperger's and one was kind of middle of the road functioning, I guess.

I guess for our family, doing ABA with J *is* honoring him as a person, giving him a voice, and earning his trust. Because he's learning to understand us and communicate with us instead of just being swept along through life with no understanding of what's happening and no voice.

ETA: I avoided ABA for 3 years after J was first diagnosed because of the things I'd read about it here on GCM, and it's without exaggeration one of my biggest regrets ever. I feel like with the progress he's making now, he could be so much farther if we'd done this from the beginning. Do what *you* feel is best for *your* family and child.
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Old 01-29-2015, 10:58 AM   #5
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Default Re: Gentle Discipline and ABA therapy

i was an ABA therapist many years ago, like 15??? almost , anyway i can't think of a single thing i did with any of my kids that would be contrary to gentle discipline, so i am actually over what would be problematic
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Old 01-29-2015, 11:44 AM   #6
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Default Re: Gentle Discipline and ABA therapy

It can be done punitively. Things like withholding attention or affection until the child complies. Not all therapists do these things and you can certainly not consent to that.


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Old 01-29-2015, 12:56 PM   #7
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Default Re: Gentle Discipline and ABA therapy

The approach of the BSC or other professional you are working with is very important. Consistency is key, you will need to be on the same page with your team, so be clear about your expectations and your parenting philosophy. Positive discipline is pretty widely accepted among professionals at this point, and if the person you are working with does not have that background or agree to respect your philosophy, a more up to date provider should be available.

I have worked doing ABA with children with special needs prior to having my own kids. I chose to use some of the same tools with my kids with s/n (visuals for example) but did not see the need for a behaviorist approach. IMO having done it myself, it would not be my first choice outside of severe situations as it is very intense hard work. If other methods might reap the same benefits with less effort I would rather try those first. However I have seen some amazing positive changes in young children on the low functioning end of the spectrum through ABA.
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Old 01-30-2015, 11:35 AM   #8
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Default Re: Gentle Discipline and ABA therapy

I don't know much about ABA but am wanting to learn more. I've heard good and bad but not really anything specific. My daughter is likely on the spectrum and is being evaluated.
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