Why we do what we do

ShiriChayim · 07-16-2014, 05:58 PM

Last week a small miracle occurred in my family. My oldest son, went away to camp for 5 days, and successfully navigated the social situations all week long on his own. This might not sound like such a huge deal for a child who is newly 10, indeed he wasn't the youngest child there and when I was his age I went to the same place with no issues. But when Warrior was 3 he was diagnosed with autism, and since then it has been a daily struggle working with him, constantly; teaching him, instructing him, knowing when to lay the boundary and how to talk him through the situation, giving him the tools over and over and over again, and at times despairing that he will ever actually use them on his own. We've had him in so many therapies and even tried meds at one point-something he had a horrible reaction to

.

That's why last week is such a big huge deal. Because I sent him lovingly on his way, gave him the tools he needed, kissed his cheek and told him I had every last bit of confidence in him that he would succeed and I hoped he had a great week. And he went nervously on his way. And all week long I waited for that phone call to come asking me to come calm him down, and maybe even pick him up. But it never did, because he was successful! He used the tools available to him, and at the end of the week each of the people who had worked with him told me what an awesome kid he is (I totally knew that, but WOW what a confidence booster for him!!!!!!) and glad they were he was there.

He did come home one night early; we saw him at church that day and he told me he'd had a totally awesome time but he was really ready to just come home now-another one of the self-advocacy tools we've talked to him about

.

Believe me, I know how hard the struggle is at times. How wearying it is to use GBD at times, and that question in the back of your head, "Is it really working? Is it really worth it?" But if we remember our goal is NOT a child that is obedient, rather it is a child who is self-controlled, self-motivated, and confident in the ability to navigate their lives-then yes it's definitely worth it!!!! And yes-it's definitely "working", even when it doesn't seem to be.

sweetpeasmommy · 07-16-2014, 06:02 PM

I'm so proud of him and happy for you!

charla · 07-16-2014, 06:38 PM

Dovenoir · 07-16-2014, 06:55 PM

I needed this today. Thank you for the hope.

And WTG for your lil man =)

Beth1231 · 07-16-2014, 08:32 PM

This is wonderful!

Thank you for sharing your son's success,it's a great reminder.

sunflowermom · 07-16-2014, 08:39 PM

That's awesome! Thanks for sharing!

ArmsOfLove · 07-16-2014, 09:14 PM

I am

for you! And for him! how awesome! Truly proud moment on the journey and thank you so much for encouraging and sharing with us

Quiteria · 07-16-2014, 09:31 PM

tazmom · 07-16-2014, 11:19 PM

Bea423 · 07-24-2014, 06:02 AM

That is so wonderful! Congratulations to him and you!
I really needed this today. The punitive pressure from family has been heavy for the last couple months. Thank you for inspiring and reminding me of why GBD is the right path.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

07-16-2014, 05:58 PM	#1
ShiriChayim Rose Garden Rock on!!! Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 18,102	Why we do what we do Last week a small miracle occurred in my family. My oldest son, went away to camp for 5 days, and successfully navigated the social situations all week long on his own. This might not sound like such a huge deal for a child who is newly 10, indeed he wasn't the youngest child there and when I was his age I went to the same place with no issues. But when Warrior was 3 he was diagnosed with autism, and since then it has been a daily struggle working with him, constantly; teaching him, instructing him, knowing when to lay the boundary and how to talk him through the situation, giving him the tools over and over and over again, and at times despairing that he will ever actually use them on his own. We've had him in so many therapies and even tried meds at one point-something he had a horrible reaction to . That's why last week is such a big huge deal. Because I sent him lovingly on his way, gave him the tools he needed, kissed his cheek and told him I had every last bit of confidence in him that he would succeed and I hoped he had a great week. And he went nervously on his way. And all week long I waited for that phone call to come asking me to come calm him down, and maybe even pick him up. But it never did, because he was successful! He used the tools available to him, and at the end of the week each of the people who had worked with him told me what an awesome kid he is (I totally knew that, but WOW what a confidence booster for him!!!!!!) and glad they were he was there. He did come home one night early; we saw him at church that day and he told me he'd had a totally awesome time but he was really ready to just come home now-another one of the self-advocacy tools we've talked to him about . Believe me, I know how hard the struggle is at times. How wearying it is to use GBD at times, and that question in the back of your head, "Is it really working? Is it really worth it?" But if we remember our goal is NOT a child that is obedient, rather it is a child who is self-controlled, self-motivated, and confident in the ability to navigate their lives-then yes it's definitely worth it!!!! And yes-it's definitely "working", even when it doesn't seem to be. __________________ ~Heather~ ENFP married to my ENJF hubby gently mothering: ds15yo- the performer, ds14yo- the gamer, ds 12yo- the adventurer, and dd 10yo-the dynamo Missing my little Malachi David and Hannah Danielle, in Jesus' arms Check out my blog "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." Dr Seuss

07-16-2014, 06:02 PM	#2
sweetpeasmommy Rose Garden Join Date: Aug 2008 Posts: 30,329	Re: Why we do what we do I'm so proud of him and happy for you! __________________ Amy eNFp Wife to ISTJ DH 1997 Mom to one Sweet Boy 10/2004

07-16-2014, 06:38 PM	#3
charla Administrator Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 16,668	Re: Why we do what we do __________________ CHARLA Married to Nick, 31 yrs Mom to Nathan and his wife Abby, and Hope Elizabeth, dancing for eternity with babies: Micah Noel, Grace Anna, Andrew David www.dancingforeternity.org www.irresistiblehope.org Save Save Save Save Save

07-16-2014, 06:55 PM	#4
Dovenoir Rose Garden Dove - noir Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Cincy, OH Posts: 5,600	Re: Why we do what we do I needed this today. Thank you for the hope. And WTG for your lil man =) __________________ Lyz

07-16-2014, 08:32 PM	#5
Beth1231 Deactivated Join Date: May 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 14,962	Re: Why we do what we do This is wonderful! Thank you for sharing your son's success,it's a great reminder.

07-16-2014, 08:39 PM	#6
sunflowermom Rose Garden Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: Oregon Posts: 3,579	Re: Why we do what we do That's awesome! Thanks for sharing! __________________ Mae Married my DH in 2/2008 Gave birth my DS 3/2012

07-16-2014, 09:14 PM	#7
ArmsOfLove Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 79,607	Re: Why we do what we do I am for you! And for him! how awesome! Truly proud moment on the journey and thank you so much for encouraging and sharing with us __________________ Crystal "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." Maya Angelou

07-16-2014, 09:31 PM	#8
Quiteria Rose Garden Join Date: May 2006 Posts: 23,483	Re: Why we do what we do __________________ Homeschooling mama to five: a young adult (graduated!), two high schoolers, a big kid, and a kindergartner And yes, they've all aged overnight since the last time you read my out-of-date sigg.

07-16-2014, 11:19 PM	#9
tazmom Rose Garden Join Date: Jul 2007 Posts: 7,740	Re: Why we do what we do __________________ Michelle Bearer of the Sceptre of Sympathetic Strength Wife to the car guy for 21 years Mom to my kids T - Fifteen A - Thirteen Z - Ten

07-24-2014, 06:02 AM	#10
Bea423 Deactivated Join Date: Jun 2013 Posts: 141	Re: Why we do what we do That is so wonderful! Congratulations to him and you! I really needed this today. The punitive pressure from family has been heavy for the last couple months. Thank you for inspiring and reminding me of why GBD is the right path. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

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