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07-27-2014, 10:49 PM | #1 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 8,466
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Siblings have feelings too you know
So last week the kids were talking awful to each other, yelling at each other. K loves Lego but he tends to leave these huge creations right in the middle f the floor so they do get tripped ver and sometimes knocked down and they fall apart when that happens. He screamed at whoever did it even if they were trying to apologize and help fix it. J likes teasing M who then shouts at him to shut up and calls him names. Q is usually the one K is yelling at and he hits when someone yells at him. So all around a hairy mess. At the end of the day, I sat down with them all to read a Bible story but I didn't read anything, just sat there. They finally asked if I was going to read anything. I said I'm enjoying this nice quietness. There's been so much yelling and name calling and poor behavior all day that I am exhausted. Nothing I've said, done has made any difference and I can't handle another day like this so I'm going to tell you a story. "What would you think if Aunt K came over and was being silly and dancing around in the kitchen and knocked my new shelf down and broke it and all my tea cups and jars and as she was saying "oh no! I didn't mean to do that! I'll clean it up, buy you new cups and stuff!" And I just started screaming and (here I did a very good imitation of them with loud screeching, names they used, stomping my feet, etc)called her names and said she was horrible and talked to her like you all have been talking to each other all day?" They all sat there with wide eyes and were very quiet and then Q said"but mama!! That would make aunt K feel so bad! That would hurt her feelings!!" I said BINGO! Now see guys? If even Q who is the littlest can figure that out, you all can understand that talking that way to people-even your brothers or sister!!- makes them feel bad. And none of us like to feel bad so when we do, we tend to do or say things to make others feel bad too, and then we go on and on and have a terrible awful day like today. Now who knows how we can do thing different tomorrow? They all listed ideas: no yelling, no name calling unless they were being silly, no hitting, no screaming, put Lego in safe place, put books and babies in room, not pester people when they say stop, respect their "no" or "stop".... And then Q says "and mama, don't you yell at aunt K if she breaks your tea cups and shelf!!"And when aunt K came over, he told her all about it. And then he told grandma too: "Even brothers and sisters have feelings! Don't hurt them!" anyway. It seems to have made an impression and things have been much nicer. Of course, not perfect, but still, better!
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A- INFP Mama to dd M age 12.5; ds J age 11.5; ds K age 10; and ds Q age 7.5 |
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Amythestmama For This Useful Post: | ArmsOfLove (07-28-2014), BestLaidPlans (07-27-2014), Dtswife (08-01-2014), Elspeth (07-28-2014), JoyfulMom (07-28-2014), mipennsn (07-28-2014), OnAMission (07-28-2014), staceylayne (07-27-2014), sunflowermom (07-28-2014), Tasmanian Saint (07-27-2014) |
07-27-2014, 11:39 PM | #2 |
Rose Garden
Hopeful.
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Dallas (ish)
Posts: 3,596
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Re: Siblings have feelings too you know
Love that you found a "low tide" moment when everyone was ready to listen and engage to talk to them. I often find myself lecturing when feelings are too high for listening to happen. Or I intended to circle back and discuss once people are more calm...and then forget to do it (until they are squabbling again and it is too late ).
And I love the ideas they came up with. Would a list or visual reminder of some sort help them remember some of the awesome suggestions they made?
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Married in 2003 to my favorite person in the wide world
Joyful momma to: B - 7.5, my pensive planner D - 5.5, my spunky sunshine C - 3.5, my cuddly cutie And baby girl A, born April 28! Why, yes, I am ENFP But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace. James 3:17-18 |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to staceylayne For This Useful Post: | Amythestmama (07-28-2014), sunflowermom (07-28-2014) |
07-28-2014, 02:56 AM | #3 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
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Re: Siblings have feelings too you know
You handled that beautifully. Thank you for sharing
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to ArmsOfLove For This Useful Post: | mamacat (07-28-2014), sunflowermom (07-28-2014) |
07-28-2014, 08:02 AM | #4 |
Rose Garden
trying to live like olaf "this is the best day of my life!... and quite possibly the last!"
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: in the sunshine with my own personal flurry
Posts: 9,563
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Re: Siblings have feelings too you know
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Amanda, ENFJ Mommy to my bounty: ds 13 years, dd 12 years, dd 9 years , dd 6 and ds 4 Psalm 13 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?....because I am shaken. 5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me. |
07-28-2014, 08:14 AM | #5 |
Rose Garden
Rich in girls.
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Perth hills, Australia
Posts: 6,912
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Re: Siblings have feelings too you know
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