Random Quotes from Wise Mamas |
br>
|
GD Info and FAQs *Public* The new home for most of the GD stickies. :) |
|
Thread Tools | Display Modes |
02-07-2012, 09:36 PM | #61 |
Rose Garden
The Lion Cub
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Northern Arizona
Posts: 10,798
|
Re: Why not time outs?
Awesome refresher course on GBD. I needed that today.
__________________
Mama to The Engineer (7 yo) "When I grow up, I'm going to build Highway 100!"
The Imaginative Adventurer (4.5 yo) "I'm going to rescue you!" and The Lion Cub (1 yo)- Smart, cute, strong, and unstoppable! Sister to BlessedBlue forever Co-Founder and Lead Writer at Food Allergies On Ice |
02-07-2012, 10:46 PM | #62 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Victoria, Australia.
Posts: 2,317
|
Re: Why not time outs?
I'm glad this got bumped. I've been planning my comfort corner for some time, now it's time to actually create it and print out the op for myself and dh to read and discuss.
I think I'll stick the printout on the fridge in the hopes mil will read it. It'll blow her mind since she thinks that dh should have hit our 2yo to "snap him out of it" when he was over tired and over stimulated by mil and fil's presence. Yeah, no.
__________________
Our family has been blessed with two boys -
Echidna 2006 and Bilby 2009. In the search for community which combines a love of our Creator with a love of raising children gently. Echidna, 7.5yo: "Does icebergs (aspergers) mean lots of lego?" |
02-08-2012, 02:10 PM | #63 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 3,615
|
Re: Why not time outs?
I have a question. Do your kids hang out in their comfort corner during the day? What I guess I'm saying is, I'd hate for them to act out just to get to go to the comfort corner.
And if they DO hang out there regularly, when one child acts out and another is in the comfort corner, do you kick out the child that's there? |
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to thrillofhope For This Useful Post: | SewingGreenMama (05-30-2012), Snugglebugmom (06-29-2012) |
05-30-2012, 11:41 PM | #64 |
Rose Trellis
Deuteronomy 11:19
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,051
|
Re: Why not time outs?
Thank you for clearly explaining positive time outs! I've heard of them but the way they were explained really bothered me and made no sense so I completely dismissed it as an option! But now I'm going back and gonna figure out how to implement it.
Time outs with my oldest has always bothered me, but it was the least aggressive and punitive way I knew to stop (well attempt to stop) the melt downs, but he always begged to stay in the living room with mommy, but I only 'knew' that time outs would only work if the child was isolated for a time, but I always ended up having to go in and snuggle and talk to him, remind him that I love him etc. Now I need to figure out how to start positive time outs without him thinking he is being punished. Also on positive time outs, is it ok for the parent to be in the corner to snuggle too? Or is it a play by ear situation, if the child just needs a break from everyone leave them alone, but if the need comfort go in? There is so much to figure out and I'm struggling so much trying to break deeply ingrained habits of punitive discipline that I find I spend half my time apologizing to my kids for the way I react. It has been hard and it seems to be getting harder, the habits break out at just the wrong moments and I just don't know what to replace them with is half the issue, which is why I'm so happy to have found you all and am still up at nearly 2am because there is so much I want to learn, and finally have the opportunity! I want my children to see Christ through me, not a tyrannical dictator, and that's what I feel like half the time! Sorry I didn't mean for this post to be so long, just a lot of thoughts and long suppressed struggles and guilt bouncing in my skull that needed to come out. Thanks for listening!
__________________
"Reflections like these lead one to spare the rod ... purely because it is not easy to find a punishment that does not defeat it's own ends." -Charlotte Mason Parents and Children pg. 171 "If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172 W&C 8/4/06; G 15yo , M 11yo , S 8/29/13 , V 8yo , Baby 2yo |
The Following User Says they are praying for SewingGreenMama: | Annainprogress (05-31-2012) |
05-31-2012, 12:36 AM | #65 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 79,607
|
Re: Why not time outs?
I've always maintained that hugs are the least utilized and most effective discipline tool that God gave us By all means if your child wants cuddles in the Comfort Corner and you can be there, cuddle away The key is that discipline ONLY takes place within the context of relationship and punishment damages relationship. This is why "spanking experts" will insist you must "reconnect" after the spanking--the spanking, by its nature, disconnects. The same is true for anything that could be defined as "adversarial"--it pits you against each other when God has put you on the same team. If you focus on the relationship and on modeling and instructing in proper social behavior you will find a different tone to the relationship because true discipline can take place and I understand feeling guilty--but maybe you can start with modeling what it looks like to forgive yourself when you've done something wrong and how to put your energy into making amends
__________________
|
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to ArmsOfLove For This Useful Post: | bentlaj11 (05-31-2012), flowermama (06-06-2012), Hopetobe (08-15-2013), On Fire (12-31-2012), rjy9343 (05-31-2012), SewingGreenMama (05-31-2012) |
05-31-2012, 03:16 AM | #66 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Northern Virginia
Posts: 10,090
|
Re: Why not time outs?
Quote:
__________________
Rita s IstJ Wife to my brilliant geek James iNtJ since 4/08 Mom to our angel boy Jay 5/08 our quirky miracle DD Ivy 6/10 mellow miracle DS Jacob 7/15 Often Please forgive my frequent typos Standing firmly on Team Lioness!!! Roar!!! I am ready for people to know I am a GCM find me on Facebook |
|
Bookmarks |
Thread Tools | |
Display Modes | |
|
|
X vBulletin 3.8.3 Debug Information | |
---|---|
|
|
More Information | |
Template Usage:
Phrase Groups Available:
|
Included Files:
Hooks Called:
|