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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing. A public forum. Before posting here, please read this sticky and keep guideline 23 in mind:
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03-16-2013, 12:36 PM | #46 | |
Rose Blossom
"...each day is a gift, and not a given right..."
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Central California
Posts: 259
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Re: Sin nature.
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THIS!! Amazing. Thank you for this. It's what I wish I could formulate the words for when speaking to others
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Shianne ~ ENFP ~ DYT 1/2 Wife to "Handsome"since 2010 Mama to my "Punkin' " since 2011 Addicted to making (and eating) raw chocolate, a collector of hobbies, and pile-making extraordinaire |
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03-16-2013, 03:22 PM | #47 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,673
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Re: Sin nature.
Please tell me you have a blog, or would allow someone to post that as a guest blog..
Both replies. Those are oh.my.word mind blowing. Really. If they are in blog form I will totally share it on FB. Like right now.
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WILLOW *Mom to Four Munchkins *Birth Doula *Childbirth Educator *Babywearing Educator *Vegetarian |
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03-16-2013, 03:52 PM | #48 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Re: Sin nature.
I guess if sin would be in the blood then pro-spankers would have a point because really...the only way to control it in a child so young that they have no "self-regulation" yet would actually be to put fear in them and just "control" them. Having no self-regulation, limited cognitive abilities and only a propensity to sin...I'd imagine that'd make them horrific to deal with!
What we do with gentle parenting agrees more with the concept that they are "made in the image of God." It's why we can trust that they're not manipulating us or attempting to gratify some "wrong" urge when they cry for us. It's why we can trust our hearts and our instincts because God made our bodies to tell us the truth about what's right with our children. Our kids don't want to be bad. They don't want to be separate from us. And, we feel horrible when we do wrong things with them. It's because our bodies don't lie. (Lie detector tests work because our bodies negatively react when we commit the sin of lying, for example.) Perhaps rather than fitting "not spanking" into the idea of "original sin" it may be worth it to reconsider that whole doctrine. The ancient Jews (who were writing the Bible) didn't believe in that...and still don't. I just made a Jewish friend this year and she'd never even heard of the concept and thought it was strange. The idea that we're "born" sinful is something that came from outside the Bible and got put in later...particularly in the new versions of the Bible things have been reworded. Sorry if that's...argumentative?! I don't know if I'm allowed to comment like this or not!? It's a topic I love though because of my favorite verse (Romans 1:18-20) so I couldn't resist!!! |
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03-16-2013, 05:24 PM | #49 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,673
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Re: Sin nature.
Quote:
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WILLOW *Mom to Four Munchkins *Birth Doula *Childbirth Educator *Babywearing Educator *Vegetarian |
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03-16-2013, 07:23 PM | #50 |
Rosebud
Author of Gentle Firmness.
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Southern Illinois
Posts: 62
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Re: Sin nature.
I believe children are born capable of sin, but are not born sinful. Like infants, they don't sin. They can't. Their brains just don't allow them to despite what many Christians believe. They cry because that's how God created them to communicate. This is not manipulation. It's just how they work.
As they become toddlers, they have big emotions. Of course, this is how God created children to develop. But since they truly lack vocabulary and impulse control, they don't always handle their big feelings appropriately. Yes, they sin. But they don't mean to. They don't even understand what sin is yet. This is where gentle discipline comes in. Discipline teaches them skills and appropriate behavior. It's grace. Because Jesus died for all our sins, we live under grace! Spanking/hitting does the opposite of discipline because it teaches fear. But 2 Timothy 1:7 says that fear is not from God. Fear ends up planting sin into the child's heart because they quickly learn to do things to avoid punishment. They learn to hide their sins whenever possible to avoid being hit. God cares about the motives of our hearts. So, if we just do things to avoid punishment, I believe that that may be part of sin. We should do things because it is right and because we truly love and respect God & other people. Gentle discipline teaches children how to do this over time. And it teaches God's grace and love for them. Making them want to come to Christ and have a relationship with Him. Yes, spanked/hit children may come to Christ, but they tend to struggle in their relationship with Him and others. Also, adults sin soooo much more than children do. It's like the parable of the unmercifully servant. The king forgave the servant a huge debt. Then the servant turns around and holds his servant accountable for a much smaller debt. So it isn't fair when adults make children pay for their sin by spanking/hitting them or sending them to time-out instead of extending grace to them and disciplining them appropriately. Hope this helps.
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Steph, M.S.ED Early Childhood Ed Author of Gentle Firmness now available everywhere including Amazon. Check out more on my https://discipliningwithgentlefirmness.com. And find me on Facebook. Married Chip in 2003 |
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03-16-2013, 07:29 PM | #51 | |
Administrator
"air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 51,865
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Re: Sin nature.
Quote:
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My pages: Why Not Train A Child? and the FB Page as well as @WhyNotTrain on Twitter Read about how my husband was Pulled From The River By God |
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03-16-2013, 10:21 PM | #52 | ||
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,155
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Re: Sin nature.
Quote:
But of course, what it really is showing is that children are simply being children. Quote:
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"A person's a person, no matter how small"--Dr Seuss |
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03-19-2013, 08:04 AM | #53 | ||
Deactivated
being oppressed means the absence of choices - bell hooks
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Germany
Posts: 8,892
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Re: Sin nature.
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I was flabbergasted when I found that out. I had asked a couple people I knew that were not really religious and raised reform and they'd never heard of the concept until they had kids and were in church with them. So I did more digging and the model in the Orthodox and Conservative community goes one of 3 ways, GBD type; permissive-ish; very authoritarian minus the spanking aspect. So it really makes me wonder where and how this fearful "must beat the child = discipline" idea came about... in a sort of morbid curiosity that I'm not ready to quite deal with. We have a background that has broad brushes of FotF's Dobson, Gothard, Tripp and Pearl-types iykwim - so... I'm not ready to go there yet. ---------- Post added at 04:04 PM ---------- Previous post was at 04:03 PM ---------- Quote:
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03-19-2013, 10:54 AM | #54 | |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 2,247
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Re: Sin nature.
Quote:
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Amber.... Wife to JA (12/07) Mama to Bug (11/09), Little Critter (1/12) and C3PO (7/14)! InFpType 2/3(?)
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03-19-2013, 03:59 PM | #55 |
Administrator
"air-mannah Leen-dah" it means Sister Linda in Spanish
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 51,865
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Re: Sin nature.
In case anyone wants an easy way to share arymanth's very insightful comments without sharing this site, here is her blog.
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My pages: Why Not Train A Child? and the FB Page as well as @WhyNotTrain on Twitter Read about how my husband was Pulled From The River By God |
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