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Old 03-01-2010, 02:49 PM   #151
Aisling
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

"It's OK to not be perfect. It's OK to not be perfect. It's really OK...."

"They won't be this age forever."

"Model what you want, Ash. And later, I will give you a nice hot bath."

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Old 03-01-2010, 03:02 PM   #152
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by gentlebirth View Post
"Model what you want, Ash. And later, I will give you a nice hot bath."
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Old 03-02-2010, 01:51 AM   #153
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

I only just discovered this thread and it has been so useful! Thank you ladies!

Slightly different idea, but I sometimes remember to turn "What punishment can I use show him that this behaviour really is unacceptable" into "How can I help him to do better?"

And after I've failed yet again and I find myself caught in a useless cycle of self-berating, I remind myself, "If I were a perfect Mummy, I'd have to manufacture bad interactions so he wouldn't grow up with unrealistic expectations of his future relationships"
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Old 03-02-2010, 04:36 AM   #154
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tasmanian Saint View Post
And after I've failed yet again and I find myself caught in a useless cycle of self-berating, I remind myself, "If I were a perfect Mummy, I'd have to manufacture bad interactions so he wouldn't grow up with unrealistic expectations of his future relationships"
That is great!! unfortunately I have girls, but at least I'm teaching them that it's ok to mess up, right?
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Old 03-02-2010, 10:22 AM   #155
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

"Model what you want, Ash. And later, I will give you a nice hot bath." [/QUOTE]

Love it! Need it!
Now if I could just remember these! My friend, IRL and here, always has wonderful quotes... practical and inspirational... stuck up on her walls. She usually has them in her kitchen. They change as the need arises. I'm going to work on sticking up a few of these this weekend.
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Old 03-05-2010, 02:40 PM   #156
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

great idea, FairOlivia, I think I'll do something similar (after the wedding and birthday party... maybe next weekend )

Quote:
Originally Posted by MomtoJGJ View Post
That is great!! unfortunately I have girls, but at least I'm teaching them that it's ok to mess up, right?
I wasn't actually meaning specifically romantic relationships, I meant friendships, sibling relationships, etc. But, yeah, teaching it's ok to mess up and how to fix it.
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Old 03-05-2010, 03:00 PM   #157
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk



if i'm perfect, whatever will they talk to their spouses about??


i've got one from the past two days: "you really really want to (spank, yell, be mean) right now, and i understand, you are very angry, but think about how nice it will be to hold him tonight and recount what we did today and not feel guilty and not need to apologize over and over" stops me every time
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Old 03-05-2010, 04:12 PM   #158
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by belaruska View Post


i've got one from the past two days: "you really really want to (spank, yell, be mean) right now, and i understand, you are very angry, but think about how nice it will be to hold him tonight and recount what we did today and not feel guilty and not need to apologize over and over" stops me every time

I really really needed to hear that tonight!!!
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Old 03-05-2010, 04:21 PM   #159
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

I've gotten so much out of this thread!

I don't know if it's ok to post a link, but this article on MSN has some similar things to say:

http://healthyliving.msn.com/default...e&contentId=52
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Old 03-05-2010, 08:32 PM   #160
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by belaruska View Post
if i'm perfect, whatever will they talk to their spouses about??

i've got one from the past two days: "you really really want to (spank, yell, be mean) right now, and i understand, you are very angry, but think about how nice it will be to hold him tonight and recount what we did today and not feel guilty and not need to apologize over and over" stops me every time
Lol!

Oh man, I needed that today.

Tomorrow is a new day.
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I first learned to show grace to my child that was not shown to me, then I learned to accept it for myself, and only recently have I been able to have grace for others more.
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Old 03-14-2010, 10:20 PM   #161
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

So I've finally finished writing down all these lovely ideas in my journal...

2 questions:

Anyone else think this should be a sticky?

and

Can anyone point me to the laziness spinoff?

Thanks
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Old 03-16-2010, 06:03 AM   #162
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Thanks for this. I have a 6 yr old & 3 yr old. With kids this age would you talk yourself through out loud or just in your head? Also, has anyone gotten to a point that you gain enough control over your reactions to not need to walk away? For now walking away would be better than staying and spewing but not sure I want to model retreat as response to stress.
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Old 03-16-2010, 04:50 PM   #163
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

I talk outloud, oherwise I can't hear myself.

It's better to remove yourself than do something you regret. I see it as an aspect of self-discipline.
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Old 03-16-2010, 05:33 PM   #164
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

I've been re-parenting myself for a long time, and still find walking away to cool off is a valuable tool.
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Old 03-17-2010, 08:03 AM   #165
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

i think retreat is a healthy response to stress, also modeled by Jesus himself, as long as it is not the *only* one you use.

i do out loud and to myself both...

sometimes i do third person... esp. for processing. yesterday instead of telling dh that he needed a nap i said this: "remember how yesterday i was really crabby when i was tired? yeah, mama didn't feel good all, mama gets so grouchy when she's tired, doesn't she? and remember mama went and took a nap while you played with papa? and then she was much nicer, right?" (he nodded enthusiastically )
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