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01-19-2010, 03:20 PM | #76 |
Rose Garden
Some Cal/Mag will probably fix that.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: catching up on the laundry
Posts: 41,294
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
Here's where I'm coming from.
An emotionally healthy reaction is a Christlike one. I want to disciple myself to be more Christlike. I self-talk to break old patterns, and the old tapes that play in my head. Because, even though I reject those old patterns, they are/were still my ingrained First Response. When I've done it enough times, my First Response changes.
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allisonintx Wife to Stephen Mother to Elizabeth 19, Andrew 17, Abigail 14 & Evelyn 12 Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the world. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home. . . . . . . . |
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01-19-2010, 03:50 PM | #77 | |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,552
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
Quote:
Thank you Irene. Thank you SO much. The things you are saying are ringing so true for me and I really need to hear them.
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Homeschooling Mumma to Princess (6 Feb 05) and Chicken (20 Jul 08). Little sister of Meli. |
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01-19-2010, 05:33 PM | #78 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 8,063
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
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01-20-2010, 12:37 PM | #79 |
Rose Garden
"Take Joy Home, And make a place in thy great heart for her...Joy is the grace we say to God." ~Jean Ingelow~
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: The Forest
Posts: 16,337
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
Thank you so much for this thread!!!! I have 7 3x5 cards sitting next to me full of ideas and quotes to hang up in the kitchen where I can see them all the time.
I also wrote down a list of things that fill my cup and drain me... Things that drain are: -interuptions to an important task -not enough sleep -big messes (after I worked hard to clean) -jobs that have no defined beginning or end. -not being heard or listened to -being unsure/confused. -feeling underappreciated. Having that list written out and in the front of my mind has helped so much just seeing sitautions over the past few weeks where some self-talk and validating those feelings would have helped...And it's things I run across all the time. WOW! This has been so helfpul! THANK YOU! (I also wrote a list for dd1 and I think it will help me see areas where I can be more graceful towards her and also validate her feelings not just snap )
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Hannah Joy
Intuitive People Loving Introvert Married since '05 to Ryan software and web applications developer. Homeschooling Mama to my 5 Joys... dd1 RJ (12/07), dd2 AJ (08/09), dd3 PJ (01/12), ds1 Ziggy (09/15), ds2 Sunny (05/18) Enjoying a Healing Diet to manage SPD and other health challenges. Sorry for the typos and sloppy grammar I don't have a good excuse anymore. |
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01-20-2010, 04:52 PM | #80 |
Rose Garden
Standing for gentleness and honesty
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Looking for Hope
Posts: 12,027
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
I sooooo need this.
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Maggi, Tw irler of the Umbrella of Silliness
Mama to two sweet littles and 3 angels 12/4/11 10/7/13 12/8/13 Grace is not a destination, it's a journey. I first learned to show grace to my child that was not shown to me, then I learned to accept it for myself, and only recently have I been able to have grace for others more. ~Sweetpeasmommy A |
01-24-2010, 08:07 PM | #81 |
Rose Trellis
A picture of me taken by J. :)
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 2,088
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
Wow! What an amazing thread. I've been talking to my dh about how as I try to help my ds express his big feelings in a healthy way that I'm having to work on expressing my big feelings in a healthy way. So far I've gotten pretty good at taking a deep breath and saying a quick prayer. On a few occasions I've told my ds that "Mama needs a break" and walked into another room for a moment. As a very emotional gal, this thread really has been helpful in understanding how important it is to take my breathing and breaks to a deeper level by taking to time to identify and talk through my feelings when I'm able to before reacting. Thanks so much for all of the great examples and tools!
Debbie |
01-24-2010, 08:10 PM | #82 |
Rose Garden
Some Cal/Mag will probably fix that.
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: catching up on the laundry
Posts: 41,294
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
Debbie we're glad you're here.
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allisonintx Wife to Stephen Mother to Elizabeth 19, Andrew 17, Abigail 14 & Evelyn 12 Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the world. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home. . . . . . . . |
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01-24-2010, 08:54 PM | #83 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Nov 2006
Posts: 9,444
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
Allison - DH wanted me to tell you how thankful he is to you for this self-parenting thing. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY he says, "man, this whole self-parenting thing is amazing."
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01-24-2010, 08:59 PM | #84 |
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dd running through the sprinkler last summer
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 7,345
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
You know, my biggest parenting tool atm is a quick prayer. I read somewhere that "God, help me!" is a valid prayer (it's somewhere in the Bible, I can't remember where), and I've used it more than once, and He's been faithful to answer it. I usually have a miraculous supply of patience, or a novel idea on how to handle the situation.
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01-24-2010, 10:38 PM | #85 |
Rose Garden
Blissed out in the January sun
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: that perfect place :)
Posts: 11,701
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
oh guys...
3s hit here a little early. ds is really really hard to handle we are all just ... i have no words. i had to restrain ourselves multiple times today to not do something we'd regret later. i know these same traits will make him my sweet, loving, caring, do-anything-for-you, dependable son one day, and i will rely on him, but right now it's so hard to be around him. anyone has an idea for script for a nearly 3 yr old that looks at you with murder in his eyes and says awful things in a tone of voice that you would probably punch an adult for
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~I r e n e~
sweet and sassy wife, mama, healer, part-time dragon-slayer the worst PM answerer ever my belongs to the babywearing 'Architect' Dancing with my three Magical Elves Smiles the Stampede Sugar Plump & Double Dimples Kissing each elf 1,000,000 times a day, and when there's time left tracking gnomes, singing folk songs on the porch, befriending dragonflies, and bopping sun-frosted 'fros through the dandelion fields. |
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01-24-2010, 11:55 PM | #86 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: North Eastern CA
Posts: 9,119
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
Quote:
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~Emily INTJ, Type 4 Wife to D Mama to: E 12/05 L 7/08 Z 12/10 A 6/14 and J in heaven 2/10 Torah Keeping, Unschooling Family My blog on unschooling and family life: Peace On Dark Nights. |
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01-25-2010, 05:04 AM | #87 | |
Rose Garden
Have you ever heard a fly roar? Listen carefully!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Walking with broken bootstraps...
Posts: 7,152
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
Quote:
If necessary, say it the way you wish to hear it so he can copy you. My nearly 6yo gets a TON of these (Allison says 6 is 3x2 )
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sister to Blue-EyedLady since forever wife to Trooper (Wounded Warrior) 3-98 Graphics designing sapphiremama to EBug 2-04, ABoo 2-06, and Goggle 8-09 |
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01-27-2010, 08:41 PM | #88 |
Rose Garden
Standing for gentleness and honesty
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Looking for Hope
Posts: 12,027
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
I'm really working at scripting got E.
I have a hard time when I get stuck. I thought E had nursed to sleep laid her down and she popped up and would not wait in her bed for him to come snuggle w/her. I was tired of nursing her and just done. She ran out and when back with him. I was so needlessly angry.
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Maggi, Tw irler of the Umbrella of Silliness
Mama to two sweet littles and 3 angels 12/4/11 10/7/13 12/8/13 Grace is not a destination, it's a journey. I first learned to show grace to my child that was not shown to me, then I learned to accept it for myself, and only recently have I been able to have grace for others more. ~Sweetpeasmommy A Last edited by Maggirayne; 01-27-2010 at 08:48 PM. |
01-28-2010, 12:38 PM | #89 |
Rosebud
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 57
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
This thread has been so helpful!!! But, does anyone have any books they reccomend reading about this? Thanks.
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01-28-2010, 12:49 PM | #90 |
Deactivated
dd running through the sprinkler last summer
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 7,345
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Re: s/o parenting self-talk
I'm still hoping for some scripts. I'm not sure what i should be *saying* to myself right now...
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