Ugh. My eight year old is mocking me

[Psyche]

Like if I'm talking to him about something (lecturey like behavioral expectations for Xyz) he has started mouthing wordlessly and rolling his eyes. I'm honestly aghast at the level of disrespect. To date I've been firm and told him to knock it off but I'd love other suggestions for addressing the behavior.

[L-Boogie]

[Psyche]

Anyone?

[ashbobash]

We've experienced that here. It's such a power trip for them, I think, and so hard to resist! I have started saying, "ok, I can see you're not able to have a respectful conversation. why don't you go to your room & get yourself under control. You can join us when you're ready to _______ ( listen, talk respectfully, whatever). "
I had to find a way to not let it drive me crazy bc that only seemed to add fuel to the fire.

[ArmsOfLove]

8 was when I did "You Sass, You Sit" which was a more mature version of "You Hit, You Sit" and I would tell them that I needed a moment to cool off and they needed to check their attitude so go wait for me on the couch and I'll be there to talk in a minute.

I also addressed this issue in a neutral moment and we talked about how they would like me to respond when they do it. Whether it was to point it out, or give them a look, or just stop and wait, I made sure to consistently let them know it wasn't okay but also didn't give it more power.

One thing you might want to consider is whether you are 'lecturing' (from his perspective) or being too wordy for things he already knows. Maybe if he starts mocking you could stop, stare at him, and say nothing - move on with your day and let him know you will not give that attitude one more moment of your time. Shut down any power and show it will affect him negatively to do it.

As the children get older I find that the best time to talk about things is sometimes the next time they are asking me for something - and I give them and they say, "What?" and I ask them what about how they have been treating me suggests I want to do something good for them. They are at an age where pointing out where empathy and the Golden Rule impact them for good or not. They are starting to be able to get it.

But it is at the early age of pre-logic so I really do try to not take it too personally. If there is exhaustion, hunger, some PHALTED issue, I am more inclined to mention that I don't appreciate it and let it go while meeting the real need. But other times I do focus on the lesson.

Mostly they grow out of it. I am, however, 100% adamant that I will not say yes to anything they are wanting to do if they are acting that way or if they have not made amends from the last time. If they realize and make amends I will switch my answer to a yes - because I want to reinforce the positive behavior and not the negative. I want them to understand that treating me poorly will NEVER be in their best interest, and treating me well will not always get their way BUT it will be better for them overall.

[rebecuna]

Wow this is super helpful with my 8yo right now!! I, too, am appalled at the lack of respect. It's pretty shocking sometimes!! I like the suggestions to give myself a little time to calm down bc it SERIOUSLY pushes my buttons some days.

[HomeWithMyBabies]

When I've gotten a disinterested or disrespectful response like that to expectations I've just stopped and said, "I'm trying to help you. Do you want my help or not?" If he said no I let it go, and took it as a sign I might be treating him like he is less capable than he is. If he said yes, he usually knew better than to behave like that again.