Talk to me about chores and allowances

[kiloyd]

I think this should go here, mod move if there is a better spot.

DH and I were never paid for chores. And we believe that we all live here so we should all do chores.

I've been wondering if money would motivate the kids to check the chore list and do them on their own.

Right now the older 3 rotate unloading the dishwasher, when I tell them to. And I have chart on the ' of who's day it is for sweeping the kitchen/dining rooms. But I have to remind them each day to look and see who's day it is and actually do it!

I used to have them rotate weekends to clean the hall bathroom but I was not keeping up with it and having them do it.

What have you done?

[Beth1231]

My kids a bit younger than yours. I dabbled in chores for allowance and my daughter became focused on the money. And I didn't want to feel like I had yo pay her more as we taught her more and gave her more responsibilities.
So now,we emphasize that we're a family,we help each other. We work together and play together. Also,that clean clothes and dishes are more pleasant than piled high,dirty ones. And I put on music and we get it done.

[MercyInDisguise]

C has chores and allowance but they are not linked in any way.

[ValiantJoy07]

We do extra chores for money. They have things they help me with because that is part of being a family. I also have an envelop on the fridge that says "Mom's Wallet" with a list of extra things they can do to earn money (list on the back with amounts next to it). These are big and harder things that I wouldn't expect them to do alone, but they are capable of doing when self motivated (pick up an entire room...vacuum specific areas of the house...organize....yard work...things that when I ask them to help me with it is definitely some thing that requires my supervision to engage them, otherwise they get crabby and argue).

I keep slips of blank paper and a pen inside the "wallet" and each kid also has a "wallet" I mark what they did in the slip of paper and the amount it was worth and they keep it in their wallet. They can cash in the slips whenever. If we're going to the store they need to know how much they have before we leave.

[BarefootBetsy]

Mine have chores and allowance and they aren't tied to each other in any way.

My dh had chores that he got allowance for and when he was a teenager and got a job outside the house it was all too easy for him to decide that it wasn't worth his while to do chores any more. I've heard enough stories like his that I'm not a fan of associating regular chores with allowance.

I think that having *extra* chores be tied to extra payment is fine, but as a parent I wouldn't expect those to get done if my children didn't want the extra money.

[MaybeGracie]

Our kids have chores and allowance that are not linked. Both are just part of being in the family. I do have a list of bigger extra chores that they can do for money if they want, but if they don't choose to, they don't have to.

[2sunshines]

Read "Raising Financially Confident Kids" by Mary Hunt.

BEST. BOOK. EVER. on the whole idea of teaching children about money and budgeting.

We follow her plan for our children's financial compensation.

My children also do chores as an unrelated component.

As for motivation to complete chores, I simply make their lists and inform them, "you may do X (whatever they have on their agenda for the day) once these get done." Of course, I give them TONS of time -- usually hours before whatever they want. BUT when it comes time to do their item, I ask them if they've completed their chores, and if not, once they're done, I'd be glad to take them. We've had a few last minute dashes of completing chores, but it puts the motivation back in their hands.

Even when there is nothing specific that they want to go to, sometimes it's just a matter of "yes, you may turn on your video game once your chores are done."

Takes the nagging and yelling on my behalf completely out of the picture.

[twoplustwo]

Chores & allowance are totally un-related here as well.

There are jobs they can do to earn extra money.

Originally Posted by 2sunshines

As for motivation to complete chores, I simply make their lists and inform them, "you may do X (whatever they have on their agenda for the day) once these get done."

This. Nothing happens until chores are done.

Specifically these are their chores (I find they are better at needing LESS reminders on the chores that I don't have them rotate, so I am trying to do away with rotating chores. Like I used to have them rotate feeding the animals, but now I just split them up)

Both: their personal stuff - like keep room clean, make bed every day, plates in sink, etc. etc.

Rotating: emptying silverware from dishwasher, get mail, help fold and put away laundry, sweep. (I want to split these up too. The problem is getting mail - fun job! Silverware - dreaded. Laundry is not every day and another job they don't mind too much & sweeping is everyone's job - as in all 4 of us sweep as needed to keep up with it, plus its a dreaded job by them!)

DD: empty rest of dishwasher, feed dog, put away her personal laundry
DS: feed cat, working on putting away his personal laundry - BUT he is really resistant to this if I am not in there. He is really resistant to ANY new chore and it's a lot of work to get him going on one.

Each week they also owe me 15 minutes of yard work (so nothing when its winter, unless it snows).

eta: So after this post i decided to try & split them out more. But ds reminded me he also sets the table for meal times and then everything else they wanted to give up and take the same things.

[AsTheDeer]

[kiloyd]

Originally Posted by 2sunshines

Read "Raising Financially Confident Kids" by Mary Hunt.

BEST. BOOK. EVER. on the whole idea of teaching children about money and budgeting.

Just requested it from my library.

[WanderingJuniper]

My kids 14, almost 12 & 10-1/2 each have daily chores that rotate weekly so there are no cries of "I ALWAYS do the dishes! No one else ever vacuums! Why do I always have to set the table!" No one gets paid for daily chores. My children also do their own laundry once a week.

What they do get paid for are the extra chores that I strongly dislike doing. I put them on the fridge on post it notes with a $ value notes on them. If they want extra $ th can pick chores. They are first come first pay. No calling dibs and if I do it before they do it gets pulled off and no one gets paid.

It's things like scrub the kitchen floor, scrub bathroom floor & tub, dust all the trim, clean ceiling fans, clean out the fridges, scrub cat pan, mow the grass, weed the garden etc.

We don't hand out free money. If they want extra they work extra.

I do have to remind them to get daily chores done. I expect them done before dinner when possible so we have a clean home to eat I. And relax together after dinner. Sometimes they do them on their own and I praise them for that. If the do not do their chores they lose electronics for the remainder of the day. Yes, it is a connected consequence because usually they don't want to do chores b cause they are video chatting with friends or playing minecraft together.

[MrsHutch]

I just shared what we do on another thread:

I've found a system that works well for us, if you're open to suggestions. I didn't want to pay my kids for chores, because I feel like as members of the family we should all pitch in to keep the house neat without pay. But at the same time, I wanted them to have to earn their allowance and not just get money for nothing.

What I do is they have their every morning chores and 2 rotating chores (they do the same 2 every Monday, and so on). If they don't do their chores well, they don't get any money for the day, period. But they don't get to just say they don't care about the money and opt out of chores. Their allowance is based on their attitude for the whole day:
-They get 5 points for having a good attitude,
-5 points for being a self starter (not having to be told or constantly reminded to do their chores), and
-5 points for serving others (helping each other with their cleaning jobs or sometimes I'll give serving others points for helping me with a big job).

-They can earn 1 point for each small act of kindness they do for someone (but not if they do it conspicuously or tell me they did it, it has to be genuine), and
-They can lose 2 points for each act of unkindness they do to someone.
-They can also lose 1 point for putting their fingers in their mouth, because we've had recurring issues with pinworms and I'm so frustrated with it.

Their charts are laminated and hung on the fridge with a dry erase marker beside them. They check off their chores, and I check off their attitude stuff. At the end of the week, I add everything up and 1 point = 10 cents (which makes for easy math, I just add a 0 to their point total to get their dollar amount).

It sounds complicated, but it really isn't. Our house runs like a well-oiled machine these days, and they do pretty much all of this while I'm still drinking my morning coffee. Here's what they look like (click to see larger):

[SillyMommy]

We give allowance but it's not tied to chores. They get a dollar per year of age once a month.

We've started using the Chore Monster app and LOVE it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[mummy2boys]

I'm glad I read is thread! My boys are older (17 and 15) and I struggled with money/chores for years and just gave up

I am going to give it a go again with money and chores being unrelated. Thanks mamas

[RealLifeMama]

Originally Posted by WanderingJuniper

What they do get paid for are the extra chores that I strongly dislike doing. I put them on the fridge on post it notes with a $ value notes on them. If they want extra $ th can pick chores. They are first come first pay. No calling dibs and if I do it before they do it gets pulled off and no one gets paid.

It's things like scrub the kitchen floor, scrub bathroom floor & tub, dust all the trim, clean ceiling fans, clean out the fridges, scrub cat pan, mow the grass, weed the garden etc.

May I ask how much you pay for things like this? I want to start doing this, but I am unsure how much to pay them. The only paid chores we have now are mowing the lawn and blowing the patio and yard for $2.

I want to give my children an allowance, but I have no idea how much to give them. With 6 children, that gets pricey.