My Contrarian... - Page 2

allisonintx · 06-27-2014, 08:19 PM

Andrew reads them fine. What I have been teaching him is about what it means for him and how to use it to his advantage or at least how to use it to keep himself from being the nail that sticks up.

So far it's marginally successful. If he can see the advantage, he will use the skill. When he can't is when it's hard for him. I'm seriously considering sending him to cotillion ,or somesuch, in order to learn the why's behind manners from someone else.

Codi · 06-27-2014, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by allisonintx

I've often said that parenting Andrew is like parenting the Borg. Nothing works on him more than once....until recently.

I realized that I was shooting myself in the foot. As long as I couch everything in terms of "most of the time" and "usually" rather than as any kind of absolute. Any time I would use an absolute and then later it turns out not to be so absolute, it confirmed to him that I couldn't be trusted. Actually, he had pretty much decided that all adults are liars because nothing is absolute or the things they insist are WRONG, they turn around and do it themselves citing "it's different" when it's not. Saying "usually, most of the time, and generally speaking" when discussing rules with him, really makes a huge difference in his willingness to cooperate across the board.

06-27-2014, 08:19 PM	#16
allisonintx Rose Garden Some Cal/Mag will probably fix that. Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: catching up on the laundry Posts: 41,294	Re: My Contrarian... Andrew reads them fine. What I have been teaching him is about what it means for him and how to use it to his advantage or at least how to use it to keep himself from being the nail that sticks up. So far it's marginally successful. If he can see the advantage, he will use the skill. When he can't is when it's hard for him. I'm seriously considering sending him to cotillion ,or somesuch, in order to learn the why's behind manners from someone else. __________________ allisonintx Wife to Stephen Mother to Elizabeth 19, Andrew 17, Abigail 14 & Evelyn 12 Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the world. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home. . . . . . . . Last edited by allisonintx; 06-27-2014 at 08:24 PM.

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