I need some cleaning help...

[Kiara.I]

Originally Posted by marigold

I tried Fly Lady about 5 years ago.Too much extra fluff in the emails and I just don't have time to read all that stuff every day. I still swish and swipe my bathrooms most days though.

What about not subscribing?
Download her 31 beginner babysteps, or something, and do those? You can build routines without getting the e-mails.

[2sunshines]

Originally Posted by marigold

I read this when we had the big thread on this a year or so ago, I really liked the thread, it was encouraging but finding the things that work for my family are hard.

Implementation is always the very most difficult part. I have read so many books that have deeply inspired me to make dramatic changes in my life in many areas, but follow through hasn't always happened the way I envisioned.

For me, I've found that it often can be a matter of making small changes -- implementing one or two things that I can manage right now. Then once I have those well managed, implement another one or two things. Over time amazing strides are made, even when it's not quite as obvious at once.

One point that was made in the book "magic of tidying up" is that in our society we *don't* teach people how to tidy their spaces. At all. We teach kids to cook. We teach kids to drive vehicles. To balance check books. Etc. But we never really teach the next generation to clean. And likely no one ever really taught us how to clean. I mean, we tell our kids "go clean your room" but never really teach them a systematic approach on *how* to do it... This resonated with me.

[Earthmummy07]

Fully owning that I haven't read the other responses yet as I have my hands full but reading 'the house that cleans itself', severe decluttering, and watching peoples cleaning routines/organisation videos on YouTube have all been massively helpful in getting my house under control. Infact I need to go back and read 'The house that cleans itself' again

[mamacat]

for toys it helps to have the toys rotated sometimes.So divided up into bins and then only a bin at a time is out and the others in a storage area

---------- Post added at 01:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:25 PM ----------

For me I really had to physically observe people who are good at it and see HOW to implement some of the things.Not that we always do them Like my sil would at least rinse out each pot she used for cooking as she went along and likewise dishes when done at table.ideally each family member could be asked to bring dishes into kitchen and rinse off excess food and put in dishwasher or stacked.That way you dont have a bunch of yuck food hardened dishes pile up in sink. tryin to get in habit of not just putting stuff on counters or table but away each time helps too.preaching to choir here

[Sparrow]

Originally Posted by 2sunshines

One point that was made in the book "magic of tidying up" is that in our society we *don't* teach people how to tidy their spaces. At all. We teach kids to cook. We teach kids to drive vehicles. To balance check books. Etc. But we never really teach the next generation to clean. And likely no one ever really taught us how to clean. I mean, we tell our kids "go clean your room" but never really teach them a systematic approach on *how* to do it... This resonated with me.

Exactly. And for the non orangizey types it's especially hard. It doesn't come naturally! My intj husband can do it. I can't.

---------- Post added at 06:40 AM ---------- Previous post was at 06:37 AM ----------

Touch it once rule helps too. You find a wayward toy on your floor. Rather than take it back to the kid's room and plop it down somewhere (what I do) you take it back and put it on its shelf. After bedtime books are read they go back on the shelf.

[mamahammer]

I had so little idea how to "clean a room" effectively that I went through Pinterest and printed off "how-to" lists for the living room, bedroom, kitchen, refrigerator, dining room, and bathroom, and I put them in plastic sleeves and hung them on hooks on the wall in each room. And then printed off another list that gave me a day for each room.

The kids have chore charts that get each room clean one day a week and then my list has each room cleaned a second day a week. And the kids have a "duty room" each day that makes sure everything in the living room, bathroom, and kitchen is
*off the floor
*put away
*visible messes are wiped/vacuumed up before dinner.

And, yes to decluttering! I started by doing a capsule wardrobe and letting go of every piece of clothing that didn't fit really well, or that I had a tendency to put on and take off because it didn't look "right." That was so freeing that it should over into everything else - much like a Kon Mari thing, except before I had heard of Kon Mari. My plan now is to go through every room every 6 months so the clutter doesn't have a chance to really pile up.

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[SalH]

We are a family of 8 and I only learned how to clean properly and organise stuff in a sustainable, not draining (mostly) way in the past few years. Moving in to a challenging student family house has had a big part in that. We actually paid a professional organiser (declutter expert) to come and give us some advice about the house (at that point we had already done some major decluttering).

I can absolutely promise you that there are fewer chores and it is easier to clean and tidy now that everything just about has a place and we all know how good we feel when the house is clear.

Decluttering doesn't mean trying to sell stuff and get your money back on it. It means literally getting rid of whatever you can as quickly as you can so that you can make your house work for you better. We sold some bigger and saleable things but we have given away heaps and heaps. Never been happier.

Cleaning and housework has become a real joy to me because it makes us all feel good and we have more time and space for each other, and for hospitality.


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[bananacake]

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[marigold]

Originally Posted by 2sunshines

Implementation is always the very most difficult part. I have read so many books that have deeply inspired me to make dramatic changes in my life in many areas, but follow through hasn't always happened the way I envisioned.

For me, I've found that it often can be a matter of making small changes -- implementing one or two things that I can manage right now. Then once I have those well managed, implement another one or two things. Over time amazing strides are made, even when it's not quite as obvious at once.

One point that was made in the book "magic of tidying up" is that in our society we *don't* teach people how to tidy their spaces. At all. We teach kids to cook. We teach kids to drive vehicles. To balance check books. Etc. But we never really teach the next generation to clean. And likely no one ever really taught us how to clean. I mean, we tell our kids "go clean your room" but never really teach them a systematic approach on *how* to do it... This resonated with me.

YES! This is the most what I'm saying. No one taught me how to clean beyond bathroom, laundry, and occasional really intensive deep cleaning. How am I suπosed to teach my kids?

---------- Post added at 08:22 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:15 PM ----------

Originally Posted by mamacat

for toys it helps to have the toys rotated sometimes.So divided up into bins and then only a bin at a time is out and the others in a storage area

I used to do this but got tired of the constant badgering for me to switch the toys.😞
---------- Post added at 01:33 PM ---------- Previous post was at 01:25 PM ----------

For me I really had to physically observe people who are good at it and see HOW to implement some of the things.Not that we always do them Like my sil would at least rinse out each pot she used for cooking as she went along and likewise dishes when done at table.ideally each family member could be asked to bring dishes into kitchen and rinse off excess food and put in dishwasher or stacked.That way you dont have a bunch of yuck food hardened dishes pile up in sink. tryin to get in habit of not just putting stuff on counters or table but away each time helps too.preaching to choir here

I try to have the kids clear their dishes off but if the dishwasher is it emptied of the clean dishes well... and anything with p.b. or chia seeds has to be hand washed b/c the dishwasher cannot handle it but when I'm caught up in the kitchen this saves a lot of time.

[Soliloquy]

I teach my kids how to clean. I have since they were little.

It's still an uphill battle with them, daily. The resistance to do a little work now to save a lot of work later is mind boggling to me but I keep at it, daily. When it's overwhelming, I set timers-- put things in their proper place for 3 straight minutes. They are so surprised at how much they can do in 3 minutes. Sometimes they keep going because they're so close to being done.

My dh knew NOTHING, though. It's taken him a long time but he's finally getting it. Taking thirty seconds to put something WHERE IT BELONGS can save you thirty minutes of looking the next time you need it. And that's the kind of thing that can just make your day! If something doesn't have a place, take 5 minutes to figure out its logical purpose and place. If it has no purpose, it goes.

[marigold]

Originally Posted by SalH

We are a family of 8 and I only learned how to clean properly and organise stuff in a sustainable, not draining (mostly) way in the past few years. Moving in to a challenging student family house has had a big part in that. We actually paid a professional organiser (declutter expert) to come and give us some advice about the house (at that point we had already done some major decluttering).

I can absolutely promise you that there are fewer chores and it is easier to clean and tidy now that everything just about has a place and we all know how good we feel when the house is clear.

Decluttering doesn't mean trying to sell stuff and get your money back on it. It means literally getting rid of whatever you can as quickly as you can so that you can make your house work for you better. We sold some bigger and saleable things but we have given away heaps and heaps. Never been happier.

Cleaning and housework has become a real joy to me because it makes us all feel good and we have more time and space for each other, and for hospitality.


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This is what I want. I guess I need to just be ruthless, but it is oh so hard

[Soliloquy]

Decluttering doesn't mean trying to sell stuff and get your money back on it. It means literally getting rid of whatever you can as quickly as you can so that you can make your house work for you better. We sold some bigger and saleable things but we have given away heaps and heaps. Never been happier.

. Do not think of how much you paid for an item and that it cannot, therefore, just be donated or thrown away. You have to think of the carrying cost. The cost to your emotional health and happiness of having it lying around, cluttering up your closet, making it harder to find and use the items you actually do use, how it takes away the peace in your home, how it makes cleaning harder and less enjoyable, etc.

The idea of, "what if I do need this again some day?" First, ask yourself, honestly, if I do need this again some day will I even be able to find it? Will I even remember that I have it? Is it actually irreplaceable?

A little funny, I gave away all my cloth diapers several years ago except for the tiny newborn fitteds. They were kind of expensive so I planned to sell them. But, I never did. I realized if I didn't pass them along soon the elastic would wear out and then they'd be trash. So I gave them away. A few months later I found myself in a surprise pregnancy. . But it's really okay! I'm going to use disposables for the first few weeks. Someone gave me some cloth diapers and I did buy some. It's all okay. The ones I gave away got used by someone who needed them. We're not going hungry because I had to spend a little money on diapers. They're just things. No need to get attached to things.

[lmgeenw]

I struggle with this a lot too. I just threw out all my college textbooks and papers. I was in college a LOT of years ago. Clutter stresses me out, but I stink at getting rid of it and getting around to going through things. When I was a child, my mom's house was always a disaster and my dad's house was spotless. My stepmom used to regularly throw my things away if I left them out. She threw tubes of toothpaste away that were 2/3 used and was just always throwing useful things away. I've never really found the balance.

My dh came from two horribly cluttered homes and the clutter doesn't bother him a bit. It's a big point of tension in our marriage!

[Beth1231]

I suspect that if you invite your children into your working space (bedroom closet,pantry,something small) and cheerfully explain what you are doing ("Mama is throwing out some things and putting some things away for awhile to make nice,clean space!") they may be more open to the idea of helping you do the same with some small area of theirs (I recommend the toy bin where small,cluttery toys get tossed).
How to choose what to throw away:
You dislike it,never use it,wish you didn't have to keep moving it aside to make room or get to something you DO like. That's a good place to start.
Seasonal items that get used twice a year can go in a shed,attic or basement. Just label the container "seasonal".
Sentimental items can get gathered together and put in a bin labeled "sentimental or memories".
That's a good start for the novice

[SalH]

Absolutely. I got the kids helping me get rid of stuff I didn't need and they got the bug, saw the progress and began on their own things. I never make them get rid of stuff, but they love watching the pile grow and their cupboards get easier to tidy. It's part of setting ourselves up for success. In a grace based discipline paradigm it's a popular refrain. But we need to set our whole family up for success and this is it.

Incidentally: I give myself permission to buy things again if I so desperately wish I hadn't got rid of them. Never happened yet. But when dh sold his fender bass amp I said it to him. If he really regretted it, we would buy another. He is happy we are in another season and its moved house with us 6 times so far and not been used. We are going to be moving all over Australia with his ministry. We need to travel light.

Also: our house is cleaner, lighter, every time we get rid of stuff and gradually change furniture to more functional and better matching (going for light and white colours for main bits so that when we mix furniture round in different rooms it will all still match thereabouts) the house gets lighter. Makes us all feel better, mental health wise. Visitors comment. Friends feel good in our house. It's taken a lot of work but we are playing more than we are working at home these days.

I collect ideas and domestic stuff on Pinterest. I am also noticing the joy I have in home making, and it is really dovetailing with what I am reading in the life giving home preview I have by Sally Clarkson.


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