Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread

I grew up in a home where clutter was comforting and if it was pretty clutter (do you really need six antique things arranged among dried flowers and a black and white photo of a dead relative on the table beside the couch?) then it wasn't really messy. My husband is a bit of a minimalist. Does anyone else see the problem?

I also have something built into me that getting rid of stuff is wasteful. I'm always afraid that I'm being a poor steward of what God has given me if I get rid of things that I don't use. I also don't want to be ungrateful for gifts that are just clutter to my home by getting rid of them too quickly.

Something in me seems to have finally clicked. I think I just got so sick of feeling buried in my stuff. I also started spending lots of time in the homes of my friends who have NO clutter. The type of person that likes doing yard sales and wakes up everyday looking for any possible thing that might sell! It began to feel really good when I could sell something on Craigslist or haul bags of stuff to my favorite ministry for street kids, etc. Its also been nice to see my husband relax a little instead of always feeling upset if I bought another pair of shoes when I haven't gotten rid of any of my olds ones. I'm a collector so shoe and purse collections are seen more as art work in process than as pakrattedness. Anyway, the look on my husbands face when he would come home and an entire room would be decluttered adn I would have boxes of stuff for him to haul away felt so good that its starting to be its own addiction.

I have a long way to go before I get through the whole house but I feel like I'm finally starting to be free from clutter and it feels a little like breathing clean air for the first time in years. The trick right now is having a new born with no schedule and trying to juggle the daily things (laundry, dishes, bathrooms, etc) with the longer term problems of clutter, storage, unpacked boxes, art that needs hanging, etc. Its thoroughly overwhelming and I have to constantly remember that God rejoices over me as his dear daughter so as not to start with the self deprecating and self loathing that paralyzes me and makes me too sad to do anything!

[crunchyusmcluv]

[quote=AandNsMom ]

Originally Posted by hey mommy

I've actually just left the house so I wouldn't have to clean it. LOL.. Bad, I know..

I cant say that it is bad I do that all the time. i would love to join you all. I clean one room a day at that seems to help me even when i am lazy that day. It also helps cause on days Evan goes to school M/T/TH/F W they have teacher conference he is in preschool. I walk him up to the school and back that is about 1 hr out of the middle of my cleaning to get him so it is easier to do one room really really good and clean that day. W when he is off school is my bedroom days where I do all of our bedrooms which the boys dont get that dirty but i still clean them. (They cosleep with us) Anyway i think i still qualify since my house is soooo cluttered i blame the fact it is really small. Today is living room day and I dont even want to think about it. We have a dog and she sheds so i have to clean clean the living room all her hair is making me sneeze bad. But i get the car today so i will have only five minutes out of my cleaning session to miss not an hour.

I carry a huge guilt about my lack of housekeeping skills. I am a SAHM and I just promised my DH up and down that he wasn't going to have to lift a finger once I was permanently at home. I just can't seem to get it togeher. My baby Jamie will be 7 mos old on wed. and my house is still a mess. I have VERY unorganized!!!! We also have 3 dogs so keeping up with dog hair and stinky dog smell is really hard for me! I look around my house and am soooooooooo overwhelmed. Most days I don't even know where to start. I am very inconsistent. I wrote out a cleaning schedule and followed it for a week and then never went back to it. I need God to help, I just can't do it on my own.

[klpmommy]

ITU. You might find the 5 minute challenges & Dread Chore Challenges (COUS) helpful.

[RealLifeMama]

You sound just like me! (and I also thought that once I was home full time it would solve all my problems. Yes, do join us. The 5 min challenges do help a lot.

Ladies, what's the 5 minute challenge? I think i need that too!!

Hello! Can I join you? I'm new but definately a messie. My house is marginally cleaner than the one I grew up in but I think that's down to my husband. I feel bad that he does more housework than me even though he works 2 days per week more than me. I get so embaraassed when people pop round unexpectedly - I need to change!!!!

I can't finish things. I ALMOST finish everything I do and then just leave it... its like getting away with the minimum. This is the only time ive ever admitted this. Eg, I will clean the entire room but leave a few papers on the duchess or a few towels near the door. I will wash everything but leave one batch of washing on the dining table unfolded. And basically I get out of the house as much as possible and then every now and then do a big day of cleaning. Maybe admitting this will help me to actually change it...


That said, I thrive under pressure. The more exhausted I am from mothering, the more determined I become to carry Asher more, keep more on top of the nappy washing etc, sew more carriers, read more and learn more. Then I crash for a day all teary and sad feeling like a bad mum coz Im too exhausted to enjoy Asher.

Also I feel like a bad wife because I put more effort into Asher, who "needs it" Than my husband.

hmm

((((mama)))) Welcome, and ITU that bit about doing things part way - I swear I am not motivated unless it's a crisis...or hormones. Any of you other messy mamas get a monthly desire to clean out? I do, like clockwork. Then it sits around half-done until the next month.

[musiclady]

Can I join you all? I am just plain lazy to be honest... there I said it, never admitted it before. I just don't get motivated. Although recently I have started to declutter a bit... I need constant help to do it... like some sort of accountability... someone almost breathing down my neck to see how I'm doing... I wish I had some people on msn or something that we could do challenges etc together... Not sure How to beat it all... There are places in the home I avoid because the clutter is just too overwhelming.

[Rose5000]

Thank you to the person who posted the last post on the opening page of this thread. I got off the computer (which I had been on all morning) and set my timer for 15 minutes to "clean anything". This 15 minutes motivated me to do a few more minutes. Even though at first I was dreading every movement. I've done a few things in the kitchen, and laundry, but the rest of the house is a DISASTER and I want to keep going in 15 minute increments.....but I'm getting tired.

[mamatorubyandbump]

hello! Can I join you all?

It says something when my first post after introducing myself is about housework!
I'm very messy but I actually hate mess and really struggle living in clutter, it upsets me to see my house like this. I grew up in a messy/cluttered house, not dirty, just a mess, and I always swore that my house would never be like that, well it is exactly like that if not worse!

Anyway, I have no tips or ideas on how to manage a home, but would appreciate any advice people can give. I've been married 4.5 years and I really feel like I'm letting my husband down by not being a good housekeeper.

This is very much me. I'm living in Chaos, and wonder why my entire life is chaos. Today is a new day, and I'm going to work hard today to make a major life change. Pray for me

Originally Posted by lswatson111304

This is very much me. I'm living in Chaos, and wonder why my entire life is chaos. Today is a new day, and I'm going to work hard today to make a major life change. Pray for me

Just seeing this! How is it going?

New here, and just got to say I am having a serious case of the messies. I think my main issue is lack of space. I am in the process of decluttering and donating. However, my dh thinks we should trash it all It's coming along though.