When kids are VERY messy. . . constant reminders abt pick up??

[zak]

I sweep it all into a pile and they have to sort it: Legos, trash, random toy, kitchen, etc.


It makes me crrrrraaaaazzzzzyyyyyy. Why can't you just not drop it to begin with!? Or pick it up right away!? Gahhhh.


My living room and dining and kitchen areas are spic and span right now. But I had to pull my hair out to get it done.

[tempus vernum]

Originally Posted by MarynMunchkins

That's how we do it here. When everyone's at school, we clean up once a day. When they're all home, we clean twice. Everyone just goes through the house and cleans up any mess they find.

I do ignore their bedrooms except for once a week. It saves my sanity.

That hasn't worked for us because they fight about the cleaning when together But we do clean up 2x's a day when home and once a day when we are out and about

[teamommy]

Same here. I like your family's solution and would like to hear how it works.

I'm wondering if this solution will work if there is one kid who already is tidy. I mean, this kid really does not do the dropping thing. He has been orderly from infancy, for real. Is it fair to have him clean up the others' dropped papers and tissues? (Eww! ). I'm worried this wouldn't help the others to learn to clean after themselves, if they know someone else is going to do it later.

Yet I'm tempted to try it, because I've tried so many things, including fines for chores. The trouble with any system we come up with is I can't stay consistent with it, so the simpler the better.

[Soliloquy]

I am pretty maniacal about NO TOYS in the kitchen. They can play with something at the table (has to be cleaned up before the next meal) but not on the floor or counters. I got so tired of hurting my feet, tripping, slipping, or not having the counter space I need. We live in a HUGE house, they have plenty of space to play.

I like the ideas you had. Going to talk to my kids about that, see if they prefer it over "mom cop."

[Marsha]

I just walk in and remind. Ad nauseum. It's one of my hugest pet peeves. I honestly don't think they "see" it.

[tempus vernum]

Originally Posted by teamommy

Same here. I like your family's solution and would like to hear how it works.

I'm wondering if this solution will work if there is one kid who already is tidy. I mean, this kid really does not do the dropping thing. He has been orderly from infancy, for real. Is it fair to have him clean up the others' dropped papers and tissues? (Eww! ). I'm worried this wouldn't help the others to learn to clean after themselves, if they know someone else is going to do it later.

Yet I'm tempted to try it, because I've tried so many things, including fines for chores. The trouble with any system we come up with is I can't stay consistent with it, so the simpler the better.

We have one tidy child - he's not perfect but he also likes to clean so he's pretty happy about our new situation. WHat bothers him is my rule "no fun until the work is done". Since he likes to clean, he finishes clean up in 3 minutes and his siblings are ssssssssslllllllllllllloooooooooooowwwwww. I'm not sure how it will be for him. I will keep you posted.

Originally Posted by LisaM

I am pretty maniacal about NO TOYS in the kitchen. They can play with something at the table (has to be cleaned up before the next meal) but not on the floor or counters. I got so tired of hurting my feet, tripping, slipping, or not having the counter space I need. We live in a HUGE house, they have plenty of space to play.

I like the ideas you had. Going to talk to my kids about that, see if they prefer it over "mom cop."

Because we don't have a lot of decent lit workspace in our home, I am not ready to keep toys out of the kitchen. Maybe when dh finishes up our remodel, I will feel different but our kitchen is the center of activity and I kind of like being together.

[MarynMunchkins]

I have one tidy kid, and cleaning up the whole room sometimes stinks for her. But we all live here, so everyone cleans after everyone.

Everyone is also encouraged to ask a person to come clean up their mess. . If they don't, you're still responsible for your room.

[tempus vernum]

Originally Posted by MarynMunchkins

I have one tidy kid, and cleaning up the whole room sometimes stinks for her. But we all live here, so everyone cleans after everyone.

Everyone is also encouraged to ask a person to come clean up their mess. . If they don't, you're still responsible for your room.

Our kids are all in one bedroom so they have that area to fight about as well .

DS (my tidy guy) had no trouble with our biggest problem spot - the kitchen. He did it quickly without arguing. He had a few things out but not much - the vast majority of it was school supplies, tissues, crumpled papers and garbage. DD1 is STILL working on hers 2 hours later and it's not even very messy - she's just sssssssllllllllllloooooooooowwwwwww. She just can't move on with her "free time" until she's done.

[MarynMunchkins]

I clean the kitchen because I don't like kids in there, and I don't trust them to actually clean. They rotate unloading the dishwasher and that's bad enough.

[Findabhair]

Originally Posted by LisaM

I'm right with you, Jodi. I absolutely know I did not do this as a child because I remember that, even as a child, that kind of disarray drove me crazy. I usually picked up after my brother. And one of my kids doesn't do it. My DH still does it, though, at age 39! (He's not as bad as the kids, though, thankfully).

Please post the results of your family meeting. The only thing I've come up with takes a lot of MY time and energy. I walk them over and supervise while they pick up their junk. And clothes lying around! My kids will go swimming in the creek and leave their underwear lying all over the deck even when they know we have guests coming over.

That's my DH, 31 this year. Drops stuff everywhere. Drives me bonkers. DD seems to be taking after him. She gets upset if I pick stuff up and tells me she "likes it messy". lol

[AdrienneQW]

One thing that is starting to make a dent here: I told the kids that by leaving their mess behind they were sending the message "I am too important to waste my time cleaning this up... I will intentionally leave it for Mom to do because my time is more valuable than hers" They had never really thought of it that way.

Now when I notice something left out I call the child in immediately, point to it, and say "Who do you intend to pick up this wrapper?" Invariably they say "Me, sorry Mom" and pick it up. Sloooooowly, by me NOT picking up ANYTHING under ANY circumstances, they're getting the message that they need to be responsible for their own messes.

Hang in there mama!

[tempus vernum]

Originally Posted by MarynMunchkins

I clean the kitchen because I don't like kids in there, and I don't trust them to actually clean. They rotate unloading the dishwasher and that's bad enough.

I definitely don't let them "clean". By clean, I mean responsible for picking up everything that is not where it belongs

I do the weekly cleaning, they do all the daily kitchen maintenance EXCEPT emptying the dishwasher. I cannot find things when they empty

Day 2 is still going well. I forgot cleaning is therapeutic for my ds-- today, he voluntarily cleaned the bathroom and cleaned all the mirrors in our house (we have mirrored closet doors so that is 6 closet mirrors and 3 bathroom mirrors).

I tried the "you are saying my time isn't valuable" talk and it didn't help. I am hopeful them taking over the debris cleaning will help them understand how I feel about it

We will see but I reminded everyone that making a habit stick takes 12 weeks

[tempus vernum]

We r still going strong on this. It is working really nicely. Weekly rotation is posted on our weekly calendar (wipe off) on the wall. Ive made sure that the hard kitchen chore is matched w the easy zone. Easy kitchne chore w hard zone and moderate w moderate. Ive taken a zone (upstairs bathroom) and in general our house is a little cleaner cuz they r telling each other to pick up. Havent re-read thread so i dont know if i mentioned this but i allow them to tell people to not drop their junk on the floor or pick up their stuff when its not pick up time (defined as when i say "pick up time -10 minutes in ur rotation") everything must b defined and laid out clearly!

Ive stopped cleaning when i wake up if we left the house trashed the night before and make them rescue first thing.

Im no longer angry and pulling out my hair. My ds (who is tidy) has had more opportunity to do "extra chores" for $$!

I no longer feel like anyone's slave

Just FYI, my kids r 13, 11.5 and 7.5. I help the 7.5yo a bit when she has a large job.

[zak]

Oh man. Someday. Someday I will write this post, right?! ^ SO jealous. I am ready to bag up all their "crud" and toss it in a closet.


It's a short span of life. Right?! Riiiiight?!



Glad for you tho!!!! Yay for a system that works!!!


(I am extra stressed because I am hosting a MNI tomorrow. Can you tell?!)

[tempus vernum]

Originally Posted by zak

Oh man. Someday. Someday I will write this post, right?! ^ SO jealous. I am ready to bag up all their "crud" and toss it in a closet.


It's a short span of life. Right?! Riiiiight?!



Glad for you tho!!!! Yay for a system that works!!!


(I am extra stressed because I am hosting a MNI tomorrow. Can you tell?!)

your oldest is same age as my youngest (I think??). Yes, it is such a short span of life. My GRAMMA in Law gave me this poem when dd1 was only 6 weeks old and I tried really hard to internalize it http://holyjoe.org/poetry/hamilton.htm My favorite parts --

"Dishes are waiting and bills are past due

. . . . . .

The cleaning and scrubbing will wait till tomorrow,
for children grow up, as I've learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down, cobwebs. Dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep."

I also applied it to my growing children and TBH, that is why I NEEDED a system because I am pretty sure teens/tweens are like PigPen in Charlie Brown and bring a huge mess with them every where they go

---------- Post added at 05:21 PM ---------- Previous post was at 05:20 PM ----------

AND by the way, your post is why I posted my kids age in my update . No way could they have handled this even a year ago - maybe the older two could have done it but dd2 still needs some help! I think this is a good system for 10+ depending on the child's personality