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11-04-2011, 07:50 PM | #1 |
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Yelling Support Thread
Hi everyone - this thread is for those of us who find ourselves, for whatever reason, struggling with yelling. We can share ideas, books, techniques, successes and failures.
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11-04-2011, 08:02 PM | #2 |
Rose Garden
Srsly?
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: DFW
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Subbing
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Heather (ISTJ) working full time, wife to Jason since '02, mom to C 12 years old, J 9 years old , and T 6 years old , mouse catching, Izzy, and rabbit chasing, Ellie. |
11-04-2011, 08:04 PM | #3 |
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Thank you for starting this thread I yell. ALOT. It makes me sick to think of it, cause it is just another thing that I do that reminds me of the horrible way I was raised, and how I swore to never do that to my children
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11-04-2011, 08:07 PM | #4 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 2,124
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Is this just for yelling at our children? 'Cause I don't yell at dd. But I do yell at dh in front of dd. A lot.
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Nickie wife to dh since 12/20/03 mama to dd since 5/24/10 |
11-04-2011, 08:08 PM | #5 |
Rose Trellis
It's gonna be a great day.
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: Colorado!
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
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Sarah Wife to the Poet Mom to Feisty-Pants (4) and Princess Artist (2) and Tall Chipmunk (born 3/30/14) Resurrecting MamaPsalmist Press Pause Photography |
11-04-2011, 08:14 PM | #6 |
Rose Garden
Growing is hard work
Join Date: Jul 2010
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Bringing my tea to this thread. I need it, a lot, right now. I have always had a temper (it used to only come out when I was pushed to a huge extreme ) but pregnancy hormones and feeling physically miserable for weeks on end have made me quick to anger. While I understand the reasons for it and it feels completely out of my control, especially in the moment, it's no excuse. It is not ok for me to treat my child with anything but kindness and respect no matter how much I am melting down.
In addition to preventing the meltdown in the first place, I need strategies for calming myself and changing my approach when I am already boiling over, instead of letting my fury spend itself. I will usually "watch" myself as I am screaming and think "this is not ok, I don't want to yell, look how scared/confused he looks, I wish I could stop" but it feels so overwhelming and out of control and I can't stop the train until the energy is used up. I really don't like that.
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Sharon INFJ
Babywearing, breastfeeding, co-sleeping, cloth-diapering mama to Zulu 11/30/09 and Echo 5/12/12 Wife to my Submariner for 5 years! |
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11-05-2011, 12:16 PM | #7 | |
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Quote:
It's kind of like getting on the yelling train as it gets started going down the track. When it's slow you have the option of jumping off, but if it gets up to speed, the only thing to do is hang on for dear life. |
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11-14-2011, 03:10 PM | #8 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 7,321
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
no time now but hope to come back to this soon
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~Amy~ married to Mr. Wonderful (2005) DS1 - 2007 DS2 - 2010 DD - April 2017 "But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me." - 2 Corinthians 12:9 |
11-04-2011, 08:20 PM | #9 |
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Any sort of yelling.
---------- Post added at 08:20 PM ---------- Previous post was at 08:19 PM ---------- I find myself at my "worst" when I am short on sleep and don't have a good plan for the day. At times like that I find that I just don't care! |
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11-04-2011, 08:33 PM | #10 |
Rose Bush
Join Date: Mar 2011
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Hi Ladies. I'm Annie and I'm a yeller
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Annie ...like the orphan
A career student at 'God Is Still Growing Me' Techincal College Jointly enrolled at 'Amen To That' University My husband is active duty Army. We had three kids in thirty one months. Fortunately I've kept them all alive and mostly healthy Even the stressful days are blessings and/or struggles that we've overcome! The next generation of perpetually in progress humans: Darrell(Dec2006) Jonas(April2008) Katie(July2009) |
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11-04-2011, 08:06 PM | #12 |
Rose Garden
Why climb a mountain? Because it's there!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Selkirk Mountains
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
me.
Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline by Becky Bailey. It's not an accurate title, it should be titled Discipline Yourself, Discipline Your Child. The book is all about learning habits of self control. Going to bed when my kids go to bed makes a huge difference because I'm not so insanely tired the next day. But, staying up to prep as much as I can helps, too. Getting outside, being anywhere but home, it seems. At home I am always multi-tasking and more short-tempered. |
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11-04-2011, 08:13 PM | #13 |
Rose Garden
Hangin' on for dear life!
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I'm struggling again with it due to my life right now more than anything. I'm trying to "take the power" back from my situation and not let it decide my life for me. In the meantime....I need this thread.
Lisa, I totally get what you are saying. I need to prep, which helps, I need the rest, and I need "me" time.
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RiAnnon infj Single Momma to LegoCraft May 2005 |
11-04-2011, 08:16 PM | #14 |
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
These have helped me (links broken because I haven't read any other content):
http://codenamemama.com/2010/08/31/100-things-to-do-instead-of-yelling-or-spanking/ http:// afterthefirecameagentlewhisper.blogspot.com/2011/01/confessions-of-reformed-yeller-part-1.html (several parts - I've only linked to part 1) I used to beat myself up and go to bed crying often because I felt like such an awful mother when I yelled at my kids. I found that as I immersed myself in finding God's grace for myself and stopped beating myself up, it helped me find grace for my children and I yelled less. Now I know that I can ask my children's forgiveness; it is not unpardonable. I might need to review all of this though. Old habits do die hard.
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CHARLA Married to Nick, 31 yrs Mom to Nathan and his wife Abby, and Hope Elizabeth, dancing for eternity with babies: Micah Noel, Grace Anna, Andrew David Save Save Save Save Save
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11-04-2011, 08:25 PM | #15 |
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Posts: 16,426
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
sleep
eliminating caffeine eating right getting out of the house having my belongings MOVED INTO MY HOUSE AND FINDING A PLACE FOR THEM SO I KNOW WHERE THEY ARE AND I DON'T LOSE MY MIND LOOKING FOR SOMETHING EVERYTIME I NEED ANYTHING WOULD HELP A LOT |
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