s/o parenting self-talk - Page 10

Blue-EyedLady · 02-04-2010, 06:33 PM

We tell our kids, "try again" when they don't react properly. No rules against telling yourself the same thing as many times as necessary.

In fact, modeling that process for them is probably GOOD for our DC.

02-04-2010, 09:16 PM

I actually managed some self-talk tonight. We had a busy day, and though the kids had gotten dinner, I hadn't gotten to eat yet. I was nursing the baby, and dd1 was in my bed theoretically trying to go to sleep, but in actuality flopping around and talking to herself. Ds3 is in his room whining that he wants a kleenex, and ds2 is in the bathtub yelling "I'm DONE!!" (wanting me to come get him a towel). I could feel myself getting riled up, but I stopped and thought to myself: "You are tired and hungry. You are frustrated that so many little people seem to need you simultaneously, and that your dh isn't around to help out. It is okay for them to wait, and soon they will all be taken care of and you can have some time to yourself." I took a few deep breaths, and actually felt much better.

curlymopmom · 02-04-2010, 09:54 PM

Way to go Laura!

allisonintx · 02-05-2010, 12:09 AM

the time between dinner and bedtime is killer. My mom (single parent of two) called it the suicide hour!

I think that if you can manage that talk during *that* hour, it's nothing short of impressive.

DancingWithElves · 02-27-2010, 12:03 AM

bumping this for somebody

Maggirayne · 02-27-2010, 07:46 AM

Okay, so help me this morning, DH has had an awful time sleeping this week, not falling asleep til late, like 1 am, and then not being able to fall back asleep when E wakes at 4-5 am. So he's sleeping in, I got up at 7:45 am with both girls, and I hate not sleeping in and am grouchy that they.just.don't.sleep.

I know he needs his sleep but I do this every morning all week.

Oh, I need to take my vitamins and eat breakfast somehow.

Gentle Journey · 02-27-2010, 08:52 AM

Wantin to sub and have 9 more pages to read though

MomtoJGJ · 02-27-2010, 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maggirayne

Okay, so help me this morning, DH has had an awful time sleeping this week, not falling asleep til late, like 1 am, and then not being able to fall back asleep when E wakes at 4-5 am. So he's sleeping in, I got up at 7:45 am with both girls, and I hate not sleeping in and am grouchy that they.just.don't.sleep.

I know he needs his sleep but I do this every morning all week.

Oh, I need to take my vitamins and eat breakfast somehow.

You could always tell yourself that you could have my kids who wake at 6 every day no matter what.... to sleep until 6:30 would be a dream morning!

Maggirayne · 02-27-2010, 12:37 PM

:deerintheheadlights and

uke

True. But I was needing help talking me out being grouchy and blaming girls for not sleeping later. I wasn't nice when I took them potty.

But Dh made coffee and blueberry muffins when he got up.

MomtoJGJ · 03-01-2010, 04:48 AM

ooh.. muffins... good idea!

and funny of all funnies... the big girls were actually quiet enough to let me and the baby sleep until 6:30 this morning...

Marsha · 03-01-2010, 07:04 AM

Well, you don't really try to talk yourself OUT of anything, that will make you more frustrated IME.

"I am really sleepy and I"m cranky that I don't get to sleep in, and it makes me mad that dh does, and I hate having to get up and fix the girls breakfast when I'm cranky and sleepy and then I have to take them potty and I'm still tired..........

I don't know, right there, just stops me from being so irritable. Just saying it keeps me from feeling so self righteous about taking my sleepy cranky self out on my kids who need to go potty.

jewelmcjem · 03-01-2010, 07:43 AM

For me, I think saying it out loud makes me realize how 2-yo I'm being, and get myself into a more reasonable frame of mind. Otherwise I just think it in my head and get more and more 2 in my reactions, lol.

allisonintx · 03-01-2010, 09:16 AM

Exactly, Jema. When I realize the age in myself that I'm parenting I'm often

Marsha · 03-01-2010, 11:58 AM

Yeah, I think I mentioned before that mine is usually two...and is tired and hungry...that helps a lot, honestly.

Maggirayne · 03-01-2010, 02:39 PM

02-04-2010, 06:33 PM	#136
Blue-EyedLady Rose Garden The Lion Cub Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Northern Arizona Posts: 10,798	Re: s/o parenting self-talk We tell our kids, "try again" when they don't react properly. No rules against telling yourself the same thing as many times as necessary. In fact, modeling that process for them is probably GOOD for our DC. __________________ Mama to The Engineer (7 yo) "When I grow up, I'm going to build Highway 100!" The Imaginative Adventurer (4.5 yo) "I'm going to rescue you!" and The Lion Cub (1 yo)- Smart, cute, strong, and unstoppable! Sister to BlessedBlue forever Co-Founder and Lead Writer at Food Allergies On Ice

02-04-2010, 09:16 PM	#137
HindsFeet Guest Posts: n/a	Re: s/o parenting self-talk I actually managed some self-talk tonight. We had a busy day, and though the kids had gotten dinner, I hadn't gotten to eat yet. I was nursing the baby, and dd1 was in my bed theoretically trying to go to sleep, but in actuality flopping around and talking to herself. Ds3 is in his room whining that he wants a kleenex, and ds2 is in the bathtub yelling "I'm DONE!!" (wanting me to come get him a towel). I could feel myself getting riled up, but I stopped and thought to myself: "You are tired and hungry. You are frustrated that so many little people seem to need you simultaneously, and that your dh isn't around to help out. It is okay for them to wait, and soon they will all be taken care of and you can have some time to yourself." I took a few deep breaths, and actually felt much better.

02-04-2010, 09:54 PM	#138
curlymopmom Deactivated Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 12,494	Re: s/o parenting self-talk Way to go Laura!

02-05-2010, 12:09 AM	#139
allisonintx Rose Garden Some Cal/Mag will probably fix that. Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: catching up on the laundry Posts: 41,294	Re: s/o parenting self-talk the time between dinner and bedtime is killer. My mom (single parent of two) called it the suicide hour! I think that if you can manage that talk during that hour, it's nothing short of impressive. __________________ allisonintx Wife to Stephen Mother to Elizabeth 19, Andrew 17, Abigail 14 & Evelyn 12 Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the world. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home. . . . . . . .

02-27-2010, 12:03 AM	#140
DancingWithElves Rose Garden Blissed out in the January sun Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: that perfect place :) Posts: 11,701	Re: s/o parenting self-talk bumping this for somebody __________________ ~I r e n e~ sweet and sassy wife, mama, healer, part-time dragon-slayer the worst PM answerer ever my belongs to the babywearing 'Architect' Dancing with my three Magical Elves Smiles the Stampede Sugar Plump & Double Dimples Kissing each elf 1,000,000 times a day, and when there's time left tracking gnomes, singing folk songs on the porch, befriending dragonflies, and bopping sun-frosted 'fros through the dandelion fields.

02-27-2010, 07:46 AM	#141
Maggirayne Rose Garden Standing for gentleness and honesty Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Looking for Hope Posts: 12,027	Re: s/o parenting self-talk Okay, so help me this morning, DH has had an awful time sleeping this week, not falling asleep til late, like 1 am, and then not being able to fall back asleep when E wakes at 4-5 am. So he's sleeping in, I got up at 7:45 am with both girls, and I hate not sleeping in and am grouchy that they.just.don't.sleep. I know he needs his sleep but I do this every morning all week. Oh, I need to take my vitamins and eat breakfast somehow. __________________ Maggi, Tw irler of the Umbrella of Silliness Mama to two sweet littles and 3 angels 12/4/11 10/7/13 12/8/13 Grace is not a destination, it's a journey. I first learned to show grace to my child that was not shown to me, then I learned to accept it for myself, and only recently have I been able to have grace for others more. ~Sweetpeasmommy A

02-27-2010, 08:52 AM	#142
Gentle Journey Rose Garden Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: In a box with a fox Posts: 13,420	Re: s/o parenting self-talk Wantin to sub and have 9 more pages to read though __________________

02-27-2010, 12:37 PM	#144
Maggirayne Rose Garden Standing for gentleness and honesty Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Looking for Hope Posts: 12,027	Re: s/o parenting self-talk :deerintheheadlights and uke True. But I was needing help talking me out being grouchy and blaming girls for not sleeping later. I wasn't nice when I took them potty. But Dh made coffee and blueberry muffins when he got up. __________________ Maggi, Tw irler of the Umbrella of Silliness Mama to two sweet littles and 3 angels 12/4/11 10/7/13 12/8/13 Grace is not a destination, it's a journey. I first learned to show grace to my child that was not shown to me, then I learned to accept it for myself, and only recently have I been able to have grace for others more. ~Sweetpeasmommy A

03-01-2010, 04:48 AM	#145
MomtoJGJ Deactivated Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 11,787	Re: s/o parenting self-talk ooh.. muffins... good idea! and funny of all funnies... the big girls were actually quiet enough to let me and the baby sleep until 6:30 this morning...

03-01-2010, 07:04 AM	#146
Marsha Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 15,359	Re: s/o parenting self-talk Well, you don't really try to talk yourself OUT of anything, that will make you more frustrated IME. "I am really sleepy and I"m cranky that I don't get to sleep in, and it makes me mad that dh does, and I hate having to get up and fix the girls breakfast when I'm cranky and sleepy and then I have to take them potty and I'm still tired.......... I don't know, right there, just stops me from being so irritable. Just saying it keeps me from feeling so self righteous about taking my sleepy cranky self out on my kids who need to go potty. __________________ Marsha Learning to be a single, wohm mom to my girls Ainslee (June 10, 2002) and Riley (August 9, 2005)!

03-01-2010, 07:43 AM	#147
jewelmcjem Deactivated I knew u were trouble when u walked in . . . Tribble, Tribble, Tribble Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Downriver Detroit Posts: 7,201	Re: s/o parenting self-talk For me, I think saying it out loud makes me realize how 2-yo I'm being, and get myself into a more reasonable frame of mind. Otherwise I just think it in my head and get more and more 2 in my reactions, lol.

03-01-2010, 09:16 AM	#148
allisonintx Rose Garden Some Cal/Mag will probably fix that. Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: catching up on the laundry Posts: 41,294	Re: s/o parenting self-talk Exactly, Jema. When I realize the age in myself that I'm parenting I'm often __________________ allisonintx Wife to Stephen Mother to Elizabeth 19, Andrew 17, Abigail 14 & Evelyn 12 Love. You can learn all the math in the 'verse, but you take a boat in the air that you don't love, she'll shake you off just as sure as the turn of the world. Love keeps her in the air when she ought to fall down. Tells you she's hurting before she keens. Makes her a home. . . . . . . .

03-01-2010, 11:58 AM	#149
Marsha Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 15,359	Re: s/o parenting self-talk Yeah, I think I mentioned before that mine is usually two...and is tired and hungry...that helps a lot, honestly. __________________ Marsha Learning to be a single, wohm mom to my girls Ainslee (June 10, 2002) and Riley (August 9, 2005)!

03-01-2010, 02:39 PM	#150
Maggirayne Rose Garden Standing for gentleness and honesty Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Looking for Hope Posts: 12,027	Re: s/o parenting self-talk __________________ Maggi, Tw irler of the Umbrella of Silliness Mama to two sweet littles and 3 angels 12/4/11 10/7/13 12/8/13 Grace is not a destination, it's a journey. I first learned to show grace to my child that was not shown to me, then I learned to accept it for myself, and only recently have I been able to have grace for others more. ~Sweetpeasmommy A

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