WWYD - mold in new teacher's house?

KarenBoo · 03-11-2017, 06:19 AM

So I've been wanting to find a voice coach for Kitten for probably 2 years now, but it's been on the back burner.

But, she has an audition this Friday, (her first real audition!) and her regular acting coach is out of town. So I asked friends, and this guy was highly recommended by 2 friends of mine.

We went yesterday for her first private lesson, and he's really GREAT! However, he gives lessons in his home, and I could smell mold in his house the instant we walked in.

This man *loves* his house. He told this sweet story about how he never had a great childhood and doesn't have "real parents." (He's 68 years old.) And years ago he met this woman who "adopted" him and he "adopted her" as his mom. She had never had kids. He ended up caring for her and moving her into his home when she was 70, and she was an interior designer. So, he let her redo the entire house. She's been gone for 8 years now, and he hasn't touched anything. His desire is to leave his house decorated the way she has it.

Well, his house is FULL of EVERYTHING!!! It is the most cluttered house I've every seen. But, I digress. Clearly, he and the lady loved the way she decorated it, and to each his own. Oh, and he has his "piano room" and his "voice room." His house *is* the studio!

My point is, he LOVES his house. He wanted to show us around yesterday, but we ran out of time. He's planning to show us around during today's lesson. (I scheduled few lessons before her audition.)

I do not want to go back to his house! I would rather him come to us, which he does for a fee. (ugh!) But, how do I politely decline coming to his house???

He knows Kitten has asthma. He himself has asthma and can't be around pet dander, so I was excited to find him!! (Do you even KNOW how difficult it is to find a music teacher who doesn't have pets in their home???)

Neither Kitten nor I actually had a reaction, but I don't want to do the repeated exposure thing. I considered saying that I reacted to his house (which may be true - I found myself like an angry person yesterday - out of character. I wondered if that was a type of reaction because that does happen to me with a reaction to fragrances.)

Anyway.....WHAT do I say to this man???? Part of me thinks it would be kind to tell him he's living in a mold-infected house, but that seems quite rude since we just met him. But it's unkind not to tell him too!!

HELP!

mamacat · 03-11-2017, 06:28 AM

If he already offers that option would just contact him right away and let him know you want to have the next lesson at your house and not even bring up not being able to see the rest of his house.Just keep it simple.If he mentions he had looked forward to it you can just say something like I know.

2sunshines · 03-11-2017, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamacat

If he already offers that option would just contact him right away and let him know you want to have the next lesson at your house and not even bring up not being able to see the rest of his house.Just keep it simple.If he mentions he had looked forward to it you can just say something like I know.

I agree. He offered the lessons at your house just take him up on it.

No further explanation required or recommended.

KarenBoo · 03-11-2017, 08:52 AM

Well, he didn't actually make that offer. When I originally scheduled, he didn't offer. (I asked.) It was when we were there that he mentioned in passing that he did that for some clients and that he charged for it.

But the fact is that we already scheduled 4 lessons at his house, and it would seem very cold and harsh to just suddenly demand that he come to my house for no reason (stated) and also he didn't exactly offer that. If the situation were reversed, I would want nothing further to do with a person who was like that. My own red flags would be going up.

So I feel like I would need to give a reason to even bring it up to ask if he would come to us instead.

So the question is - am I evasive and tell him about a "mysterious reaction to his house" or do I tell the truth about his moldy house?

2sunshines · 03-11-2017, 08:55 AM

I wouldn't say anything about his house.

I'd simply say that it would be much more convenient to your family if he would be willing to come to your house, obviously with the added fee. And leave it at that.

mamacat · 03-11-2017, 08:56 AM

I still dont think you would need to be specific but just that he had mentioned he does go to homes for an additional charge and it would really work out better for you if he could reschedule those lessons to be at your home if possible

MaySunflowers · 03-11-2017, 10:17 AM

I'd avoid mentioning it, but if you were forced into an explanation then do mention you reacted to "something" while you visited.

GlacierLily · 03-11-2017, 10:28 AM

I wouldn't tell him anyone had a reaction when they didn't.
I'd just tell him it would actually be easier with your schedules/family life to have him stop at your place for lessons.

Beth1231 · 03-11-2017, 10:29 AM

Yes,I wouldn't say the word "mold" for anything.
With all the lovely antiques and collections,it could be just about anything.
Innocent,apologetic tone.

twentysixcats · 03-11-2017, 10:32 AM

You could say that once you started the lessons, you realized the logistics for going there were harder than you anticipated. I've had that happen before, and had to change something up pretty close to the beginning.

KarenBoo · 03-11-2017, 11:53 AM

OK, so I'll make it about the schedule and I won't say anything about his house. Thanks y'all!

03-11-2017, 06:19 AM	#1
KarenBoo Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: central FL Posts: 6,022	WWYD - mold in new teacher's house? So I've been wanting to find a voice coach for Kitten for probably 2 years now, but it's been on the back burner. But, she has an audition this Friday, (her first real audition!) and her regular acting coach is out of town. So I asked friends, and this guy was highly recommended by 2 friends of mine. We went yesterday for her first private lesson, and he's really GREAT! However, he gives lessons in his home, and I could smell mold in his house the instant we walked in. This man loves his house. He told this sweet story about how he never had a great childhood and doesn't have "real parents." (He's 68 years old.) And years ago he met this woman who "adopted" him and he "adopted her" as his mom. She had never had kids. He ended up caring for her and moving her into his home when she was 70, and she was an interior designer. So, he let her redo the entire house. She's been gone for 8 years now, and he hasn't touched anything. His desire is to leave his house decorated the way she has it. Well, his house is FULL of EVERYTHING!!! It is the most cluttered house I've every seen. But, I digress. Clearly, he and the lady loved the way she decorated it, and to each his own. Oh, and he has his "piano room" and his "voice room." His house is the studio! My point is, he LOVES his house. He wanted to show us around yesterday, but we ran out of time. He's planning to show us around during today's lesson. (I scheduled few lessons before her audition.) I do not want to go back to his house! I would rather him come to us, which he does for a fee. (ugh!) But, how do I politely decline coming to his house??? He knows Kitten has asthma. He himself has asthma and can't be around pet dander, so I was excited to find him!! (Do you even KNOW how difficult it is to find a music teacher who doesn't have pets in their home???) Neither Kitten nor I actually had a reaction, but I don't want to do the repeated exposure thing. I considered saying that I reacted to his house (which may be true - I found myself like an angry person yesterday - out of character. I wondered if that was a type of reaction because that does happen to me with a reaction to fragrances.) Anyway.....WHAT do I say to this man???? Part of me thinks it would be kind to tell him he's living in a mold-infected house, but that seems quite rude since we just met him. But it's unkind not to tell him too!! HELP! __________________ Married to DH for 29 years! Mama to very sweet DD1 "Kitten" 5/03 and our very sweet DD2 "Monkey" 1/08 crunchy, homeschooling, and focused on healing with diet, homeopathy, and QRI cold laser reflex integration

03-11-2017, 06:28 AM	#2
mamacat Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 26,473	Re: WWYD - mold in new teacher's house? If he already offers that option would just contact him right away and let him know you want to have the next lesson at your house and not even bring up not being able to see the rest of his house.Just keep it simple.If he mentions he had looked forward to it you can just say something like I know. __________________ ~Catherine~ Mama to 5: C W C J S And Grandma to 3: A ,K and baby C

03-11-2017, 08:52 AM	#4
KarenBoo Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: central FL Posts: 6,022	Re: WWYD - mold in new teacher's house? Well, he didn't actually make that offer. When I originally scheduled, he didn't offer. (I asked.) It was when we were there that he mentioned in passing that he did that for some clients and that he charged for it. But the fact is that we already scheduled 4 lessons at his house, and it would seem very cold and harsh to just suddenly demand that he come to my house for no reason (stated) and also he didn't exactly offer that. If the situation were reversed, I would want nothing further to do with a person who was like that. My own red flags would be going up. So I feel like I would need to give a reason to even bring it up to ask if he would come to us instead. So the question is - am I evasive and tell him about a "mysterious reaction to his house" or do I tell the truth about his moldy house? __________________ Married to DH for 29 years! Mama to very sweet DD1 "Kitten" 5/03 and our very sweet DD2 "Monkey" 1/08 crunchy, homeschooling, and focused on healing with diet, homeopathy, and QRI cold laser reflex integration

03-11-2017, 08:55 AM	#5
2sunshines Moderator in Celebrations, Cloth Diapering & EC, Empty Arms, Prayer & Praise, and Swap n' Shop Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 27,024	Re: WWYD - mold in new teacher's house? I wouldn't say anything about his house. I'd simply say that it would be much more convenient to your family if he would be willing to come to your house, obviously with the added fee. And leave it at that. __________________ married 25 years mom to two young adults (23 and 20) and two teens (17 and 15)

03-11-2017, 08:56 AM	#6
mamacat Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 26,473	Re: WWYD - mold in new teacher's house? I still dont think you would need to be specific but just that he had mentioned he does go to homes for an additional charge and it would really work out better for you if he could reschedule those lessons to be at your home if possible __________________ ~Catherine~ Mama to 5: C W C J S And Grandma to 3: A ,K and baby C

03-11-2017, 10:17 AM	#7
MaySunflowers Deactivated Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: UK Posts: 7,781	Re: WWYD - mold in new teacher's house? I'd avoid mentioning it, but if you were forced into an explanation then do mention you reacted to "something" while you visited.

03-11-2017, 10:28 AM	#8
GlacierLily Rose Garden “Overcoming what frightens you the most strengthens you the most.” ― Matshona Dhliwayo Join Date: May 2005 Location: Where the glacier lillies grow ;) Posts: 3,939	Re: WWYD - mold in new teacher's house? I wouldn't tell him anyone had a reaction when they didn't. I'd just tell him it would actually be easier with your schedules/family life to have him stop at your place for lessons. __________________ <--- I just like that ice cream icon. It makes me happy Mama to our medical munchkin -3 (ASD,CHD, GDD medically complex & cognitively age 1 ) and super siblings !

03-11-2017, 10:29 AM	#9
Beth1231 Deactivated Join Date: May 2006 Location: Texas Posts: 14,962	Re: WWYD - mold in new teacher's house? Yes,I wouldn't say the word "mold" for anything. With all the lovely antiques and collections,it could be just about anything. Innocent,apologetic tone.

03-11-2017, 10:32 AM	#10
twentysixcats Rose Garden Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Atlanta, GA Posts: 6,404	Re: WWYD - mold in new teacher's house? You could say that once you started the lessons, you realized the logistics for going there were harder than you anticipated. I've had that happen before, and had to change something up pretty close to the beginning. __________________ Ashley (ISFJ) mom to three beautiful girls! DD1 (8/2009) DD2 (7/2012) DD3 (9/2014)

03-11-2017, 11:53 AM	#11
KarenBoo Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: central FL Posts: 6,022	Re: WWYD - mold in new teacher's house? OK, so I'll make it about the schedule and I won't say anything about his house. Thanks y'all! __________________ Married to DH for 29 years! Mama to very sweet DD1 "Kitten" 5/03 and our very sweet DD2 "Monkey" 1/08 crunchy, homeschooling, and focused on healing with diet, homeopathy, and QRI cold laser reflex integration

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