How do you keep your mouth shut?

[Joanne]

For a variety of reasons, I've found it gets easier and easier as my kids get older.

[HealthymamaHappymama]

Originally Posted by breezy88

I guess since it was 40 years ago.....I might not have said anything. Except maybe just saying that you want to keep her in your room even if it's hard.

I had this with my cousin at the last family gathering. She said something about her daughter being awake for her whole "nap time" and how she just stays in her little bed and reads a book (read between the lines ....child training!)

I was annoyed inside....I just said "Oh wow...she stays in there?" Then the cousin said yes....and I said ....." oh wow..and she doesn't even cry?"
cousin..."well she did at first"

And then I was just like "oh,ok" (I think they got the point that my interest was gone after they admitted that really she doesn't just stay in there but has been trained that she will be ignored if she cries)

love how you phrased that! I've been in a few conversations where something like that would have been perfect! So often I feel people are leaving out info.

[BarefootBetsy]

It has gotten easier over the past 6 years to keep my mouth shut when it wouldn't be productive to say anything. Unless someone expresses interest in learning something new, I tend to just live my life. After all, people can see what I do and how it's working (or not ) and they're welcome to ask questions if they wish

Being a strong introvert doesn't hurt either

[Doc]

And I did it again today. My mothers' group leader showed an Ezzo video today. I was filled with rage and fear as she reccomended all the new mums go out and buy Babywise. I wanted to remain calm and say my piece at the end, but instead a bunch of snide comments errupted from my mouth as we watched.

I acted like a petulant teenager. Not good. Next week I'm bringing some reading for anyone who wants it. I'm also going to order some Dr Sears books on amazon and donate them to the mom's group library. Still so angry...

[Hermana Linda]

[Kiera]

My infant psychology class professor taught the Ferber method last night I was so angry. She even showed a video of it. I am still shocked and soo frustrated. I also have a hard time keeping my mouth shut completely. Even if they get mad at me, it may send them into researching. I try to say things in tactful ways like "Studies show that leaving a baby to cry it out...." And tell them what has worked for us. I'm glad I'm not alone in my thinking here.

[gracechelle]

I have to walk away! With BW recovery still occuring (just started a little bit ago), I can't just sit and listen to a friend discuss how it's "working." Posts on FB are rough, too --I had to stop commenting on certain statuses!

Just a couple weeks ago, a friend mentioned that she had decided to spank because it was "bibilical". Before I could stop myself, "Oh, really? That's exactly why I WON'T spank --I believe it's UN-biblical!", came pouring out of my mouth. Thanks for bringing this up --it's definitely a topic I need to pray more about.

i had an incident at our small group where i blurted before i spoke. i felt soo badly afterwards. one of the men that came opened up a couple weeks ago about how he's having a hard time forgiving someone for stuff done to him in the past, and he actually is happy about some terrible things that happening in this persons life as well. he wants to forgive and move past, but he is having a hard time. so we prayed for him and the situation. the next week he comes in and for some reason he was just randomly talking about how he thinks it's crazy that the governemtn wants to make it illegal to spake, an di was like thank goodness they're finally doing something about it, and he says the government has too much control. he can be a bit of a jokster sometimes, so i really wasn't sure if he was being serious or not. but then the comment came out about how he was given the belt as a kid and he said and i think i turned out fine or something like that, and i just quietly blurted out, " but you can't forgive" thinking of that one situation...never has a conversation ended so abruptly! i felt like crawling under a rock!

[Hermana Linda]

Originally Posted by mom2afew

... but then the comment came out about how he was given the belt as a kid and he said and i think i turned out fine or something like that, and i just quietly blurted out, " but you can't forgive" thinking of that one situation...never has a conversation ended so abruptly! i felt like crawling under a rock!

Ooops. Sounds like something I would say.

[rjy9343]

I want to point out something that may help a little. I know it did me. All of us have a hard time keeping quiet with this stuff because something we believe to the core of our being is being attacked. Whether or not it is intentional is not important. When you hear about cio, spanking or have to watch Ezzo, your values are under attack. Of course you are hostile. Who would not be? What has helped me keep my cool with my family who probably feels that I am condemning them by not cio and the rest is to keep the answers neutral and ready when they ask questions. When they criticize, then it is bean dip time. And some times I ask for bean dip because that is all I can think of off the top of my head. In other situations with strangers putting down ap/gbd, well since i am wearing my toddler and asking her if she needs my help to obey, then it is pretty obvious what I am and tend to be a little less gentle with ill mannered bores.

[Joanne]

Originally Posted by Kiera

My infant psychology class professor taught the Ferber method last night I was so angry. She even showed a video of it. I am still shocked and soo frustrated. I also have a hard time keeping my mouth shut completely. Even if they get mad at me, it may send them into researching. I try to say things in tactful ways like "Studies show that leaving a baby to cry it out...." And tell them what has worked for us. I'm glad I'm not alone in my thinking here.

Where is this? Mainstream psychology typically errs on the side of a nurturing, mothering to sleep response.

This past week, I read two friends discussing SACH on FB...how they "love" the book, the methods taught in the book, they've been using it since their children were first born. I didn't comment at all. But I have been so saddened and heartbroken since I read this. I wish I could say something to them. But I don't want to cause a rift in our friendships and I'm so new to gbd that I don't know how good of a defense I could state (although I feel completely passionate about gbd and absolutely know it is the right choice for parenting our child).

[hey mommy]

These replies make me wish you all could talk to my FIL..

[Hermana Linda]

Originally Posted by ps103

This past week, I read two friends discussing SACH on FB...how they "love" the book, the methods taught in the book, they've been using it since their children were first born. I didn't comment at all. But I have been so saddened and heartbroken since I read this. I wish I could say something to them. But I don't want to cause a rift in our friendships and I'm so new to gbd that I don't know how good of a defense I could state (although I feel completely passionate about gbd and absolutely know it is the right choice for parenting our child).

Keep reading here, you'll pick things up.

[Codi]

I have often noticed the more confident I become in my choices and beliefs, the easier it is for me NOT to say anything.

And I have also noticed, that sometimes the complete silence from me in a conversation filled with CIO, etc is very much noticed and speaks for itself.