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Old 10-09-2014, 05:14 AM   #16
SewingGreenMama
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Default Parenting in front of "spanking parents" and whining 3 year old...

I just came back and realized most of what I write disappeared. my phone has been acting up lately.

As I said above I lived with my parents who didn't approve of no spanking and no punishments. And I moved in with then less then 2 months after finding gentle parenting and deciding it was what God was calling me to.

When I was confidant in what I was doing I would ignore everyone and simply do what was needed by my son. Showing them how it works.

If I was unsure or on edge emotionally I would take my children and head to my room and handle it there out of site of everyone so that I could figure this out without feeling judgement.

Edited because I posted early: It took me a long time to get to the point where I didn't care about what the people around me thought. But my first responsibility is to model Christ to my children and to those around me, also to be obedient to Christ and he has made it abundantly clear that this is how he wants my children parented.
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"Reflections like these lead one to spare the rod ... purely because it is not easy to find a punishment that does not defeat it's own ends." -Charlotte Mason Parents and Children pg. 171

"If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172

W&C 8/4/06; G 15yo , M 11yo , S 8/29/13 , V 8yo , Baby 2yo

Last edited by SewingGreenMama; 10-09-2014 at 05:18 AM.
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Old 10-09-2014, 05:46 AM   #17
MariJo7
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Default Re: Parenting in front of "spanking parents" and whining 3 year old...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Maleldil's daughter View Post
I just wanted to add, that it is healthy to remember that we actually don't know what other people are thinking of us. It's possible, even likely, that some people are silently judging you. But maybe not. They might be sympathetic, or even kind of impressed by how you handle things, or they might be preoccupied by their own lives and not really care.

I find it helpful to try to keep that in mind. Sometimes what I imagine others to be thinking is more disapproving than it turns out they were actually thinking.
This is very insightfull. Who knows what you are able to achieve if you just keep being yourself. You might even give someone hope. I believe there are many spanking mothers who are not happy with that, deep down in their heart. When I was a young mother I was pressured to spank my children by my husband, by my pastor and by my church community. With my first baby, I and my husband were even pressured to schedule feeding and CIO by our pastor untill it became evident that our baby did not thrive. It was a schock for DH to find out that our daughter was loosing weight, and he never pressured me to schedule feeding again, no matter what the pastor said.
Just keep to your convictions. Perhaps there is a mother in your group who is not happy with being punitiv and who secrettly is looking for better ways. Who knows what ou can mean to the other moms in your group.
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Old 10-09-2014, 10:52 PM   #18
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Default Re: Parenting in front of "spanking parents" and whining 3 year old...

Quote:
I was told I should have started spanking him at four months of age and break his will.
"Thank you very much, but I want his will to stay strong enouigh to resist temptation when he is older".
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Old 10-11-2014, 07:21 PM   #19
Ravenzmama
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Default Re: Parenting in front of "spanking parents" and whining 3 year old...

Zooey, that is exactly what I told them!
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Old 10-12-2014, 05:23 AM   #20
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Default Re: Parenting in front of "spanking parents" and whining 3 year old...

Yes, great quote Zooey! I will try to use that if I ever have a chance!
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Old 10-12-2014, 02:57 PM   #21
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Default Re: Parenting in front of "spanking parents" and whining 3 year old...

Being proactive helps me with DD a lot. If I remind her prior to going somewhere I know we usually have troubles it helps a lot. I'll say we are going to practive waiting patiently, saying excuse me, etc In certain situations for instance preschool if she cooperates on what I've asked for a week she gets a treat
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Old 10-12-2014, 03:16 PM   #22
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Default Re: Parenting in front of "spanking parents" and whining 3 year old...

I think I got that from someone here....It just made sense.
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Old 10-13-2014, 11:02 PM   #23
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Default Re: Parenting in front of "spanking parents" and whining 3 year old...

Thank you all so much, I have read and re-read these comments and you all have given me so much hope. I just saw the list of the people praying and I could have cried! What a wonderful blessing to have found this group!! Also, I saw mention of some steps, I think I came across them once before, but can't find the thread. What are they again??
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Old 10-16-2014, 01:32 AM   #24
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Default Re: Parenting in front of "spanking parents" and whining 3 year old...

The five steps
There is also a sticky about the 5 steps in the GD FAQ sub forum
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Old 10-16-2014, 06:05 PM   #25
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Default Re: Parenting in front of "spanking parents" and whining 3 year old...

I think it can also be helpful to remember that some of the fruit of your parenting style will be seen in a longer term, in your relationship with your children through the years and in the long term emotional health that they're likely to have due to your choices. These are worth more than the immediate reward of quiet "obedient" children that the other parents you're seeing may be reaping.
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