4yo making messes

[everydaygrace]

I am going batty over my 4yo lately. I can't even put my finger on all of it, but one thing is, he makes messes wherever he goes. He's a little tornado and he doesn't even realize he's doing it. We're not talking just about toys. But for example, if he's in the living room, the couch cushions, pilllows, and curtains are disheveled. There is trash on the floor from some random thing he found and absentmindedly tore up. There are a few books and toys scattered. And he just is so busy going to from thing to thing that its very hard to keep up with him to get it cleaned up! When I tell him to clean up something he got out, often, he has no recollection of even doing it (like the curtains and couch cushions). How do I help him to become aware of what he is doing with being a nag?! Because that's is what's happening. And also, there is such a trail of little junk that he leaves in his wake, and he just can't SEE it all when I ask him to clean it up. So then it becomes me telling him to pick up each item, individually, and often repeatedly. It gets so frustrating. And I have also tried just giving him general instructions, and that doesn't work either. Even when something unpleasant for him is tied to it (not unpleasant on purpose, just a fact). For example, "Pick up your toys and stuff you left on the ground. We will have time for a bedtime story if you can do it in 5 minutes." And then, he will work feverishly, and think he's done multiple times, but I have to keep telling him, "there is still more mess, look over there." And he also doesn't properly put things away (not in the right containers, for example, and trash thrown in there instead of the waste bastket). I feel like a few weeks ago he could have done this, but he also wasn't making as big a mess a few weeks ago. The messes are partially due to him getting into building "projects" with lots of toys, etc., which I want to encourage. Anyway, that's a lot. Just trying to figure out what to do here...

[rcsmom]

I don't have any suggestions because that sounds like my boys (and DH ). We do a big pick up at the end of the day and that is about it.

[Aerynne]

To some extent that just sounds like a 4yo. They are still very much in a dreamy state that makes it hard for them to make decisions and realize what they are doing.

I would alter the environment as much as possible. Don't let there be a piece of paper on the coffee table that he can rip into little pieces. Take the pillows off the couch. Not much you can do about couch cushions and curtains (my kids aren't allowed to take off the couch cushions, though, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen from time to time). Put the toys somewhere he can't get them and have him ask for things he wants. He gets the legos when he cleans up the tinker toys and gives them back to you. At four, though, he will miss some of the tinker toys and you'll have to show them to him. Often with my kids after they pick them all up, I'll count what I can see that is left, and say there are six, I'll say "Now pick up 8 more" (usually they'll find a few I can't see). My kids can have as much out as they can keep picked up. Living in a mess is overwhelming to kids but they don't really have the capacity to do something about it without a lot of help. So I make sure my kids don't have a lot of toy mess by limiting their toys that are out to what they can reasonably keep clean.