Expectations

[wildswede]

Does anyone else ever find themselves having way higher expectations for their children's behavior when around friends or family members who spank? My son is nearly five years old, has some behavioral issues (he has symptoms of autism that are being monitored and has been diagnosed with a language disorder), he's a good kiddo, very energetic and has zero fear and almost zero impulse control, but he works so hard to keep himself in control. I find myself having ridiculous expectations for him when at a family member's house where they use physical punishment (wooden spoon, spanking, hot sauce, soap, etc) with their four and six year olds. I get so stressed out when my son is disobedient or does something that is against the rules (he has a tendency to hurdle himself full force into furniture, he is not meaning to be hard on things, he just cannot tell he is being so rough, it's part of his sensory issues and we work on slowing down and being careful a lot). I feel like he needs to be perfect so I'm not being "one of those" parents who doesn't discipline and lets her child run wild... even though he is generally better behaved, more polite, and kinder than his cousins. Anyone else struggle with feeling like this?

[Findabhair]

Yes. We have a generally well behaved nearly 5 year old and I feel the same way. I've come a long way in my thinking but it's still instinctual I think because of how I was raised. We have never spanked our daughter but I do feel judged, ashamed or worried and feel anxiety in some situations where other people might spank.