Parenting resources aimed at fathers

PattyLA · 09-16-2016, 07:41 AM

My husband is struggling to find a way to parent without force/violence/threats. Our children have behavioral challenges that make it very difficult to know what to do when they refuse to cooperate. I have tried to get him to read the books that I have liked on the subject but I think he sees them as "mom books". He responded really well to books aimed specifically aimed at fathers when they were younger and I think he would like that again. Our kids are 8 and 12.

Any suggestions?

Patty

shirelingmum · 09-16-2016, 07:49 AM

I don't have any advice but I'm praying with you and hoping more mamas answer! My dh also would love to find some more parenting books!
One we liked was Clay Clarkson's Heartfelt Discipline and his journey to gentle parenting? Not geared specifically to just fathers but yeah

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MariJo7 · 09-16-2016, 09:29 AM

Ross Campbell has written many excellent books that are not "mom books". Some titles by him:
How to really love your child
How to really love your teen ager
Kids in danger
How to really love your angry child

They are all good. They are written in the 80's so there might be some things that are outdated. But the main idea is sound. He deals much with anger issues. According to him, one of the main dutes and responsibilities of a parent is to teach their kids to cope with anger and frustration and to learn to express their negative feelings in a constructive way. Because most parents do not master these skills themselves, they need to start to train themselves too. He adresses himself especially towards dads because he is also a dad. But both parents will profit from the books.

One note: Campbell is not totally 100% agains spanking. He considers it a "bad method" and he never advises it but in some "exctreme cases " he says it may work as the very last resource. This is one of the things that I consider "outdated". One must consider that How to Really Love your Child was written in the 1980's when many "spanking manuals" were very popular, and it is a reaction against those books.

3PeasInAPod · 09-16-2016, 09:40 AM

http://samuelmartin.blogspot.co.il/2...s-journey.html

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Singingmom · 09-16-2016, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shirelingmum

One we liked was Clay Clarkson's Heartfelt Discipline and his journey to gentle parenting? Not geared specifically to just fathers but yeah

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I was going to suggest this one, too. Not for only dads, but written BY a dad, so it definitely doesn't feel like a mom book.

shirelingmum · 09-16-2016, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Singingmom

I was going to suggest this one, too. Not for only dads, but written BY a dad, so it definitely doesn't feel like a mom book.

Yes!! I found this especially helpful

dh did too!

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Singingmom · 09-16-2016, 03:09 PM

It's really good.

charla · 09-16-2016, 03:23 PM

My husband and I really liked reading Grace-Based Living by Crystal Lutton. It is a fairly quick read and is easy to understand. It not only covers parenting, but marriage as well.

Pearl In Oyster · 09-16-2016, 06:42 PM

Connected Families is a ministry by Jim and Lynne Jackson. It is the first materials on positive parenting that have made sense to my husband who struggled with some similar challenges as you described about your husband.

They are about to relaunch their book: Discipline that Connects. It has lots of personal anecdotes from both parents' perspective.
They also have two free e-books that will give you a good overview of their approach:
http://connectedfamilies.org/product...work-pdf-free/
http://connectedfamilies.org/product...ids_misbehave/

PattyLA · 09-18-2016, 06:33 PM

Thank you everyone for sharing those resources. I'll share them with DH. Now to decide if he would do better picking his own book from the list or if I should buy it and put it where he finds it. (neither of us likes to be told what to do. )

Lady Grey · 09-18-2016, 07:16 PM

link

I am newly in love with this author. She writes to dads about daughters, but I've learned a lot too. She has a blog you can check out here.

Soliloquy · 09-18-2016, 10:55 PM

"Between Parent and Child" by Haim Ginott is a classic. He also wrote "Between Parent and Teenager." I need to get the second one myself.

It's nice to "see" you again, Patty!

09-16-2016, 07:41 AM	#1
PattyLA Rose Blossom Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Posts: 133	Parenting resources aimed at fathers My husband is struggling to find a way to parent without force/violence/threats. Our children have behavioral challenges that make it very difficult to know what to do when they refuse to cooperate. I have tried to get him to read the books that I have liked on the subject but I think he sees them as "mom books". He responded really well to books aimed specifically aimed at fathers when they were younger and I think he would like that again. Our kids are 8 and 12. Any suggestions? Patty __________________ Patty We've all got chronic Lyme Healing with GAPS since Nov 2009 Big girl 2004 Little girl 2008

09-16-2016, 07:49 AM	#2
shirelingmum Rose Bouquet "My lips will praise You!" Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Pacific Northwest (otherwise known as Middle Earth) Posts: 567	Re: Parenting resources aimed at fathers I don't have any advice but I'm praying with you and hoping more mamas answer! My dh also would love to find some more parenting books! One we liked was Clay Clarkson's Heartfelt Discipline and his journey to gentle parenting? Not geared specifically to just fathers but yeah Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk __________________ Quirky hobbitwife to her bearded love since 2006 Mummy to 4 hobbitses and one little one born to heaven 9/23/10

09-16-2016, 09:29 AM	#3
MariJo7 Rose Trellis Join Date: Sep 2014 Posts: 2,065	Re: Parenting resources aimed at fathers Ross Campbell has written many excellent books that are not "mom books". Some titles by him: How to really love your child How to really love your teen ager Kids in danger How to really love your angry child They are all good. They are written in the 80's so there might be some things that are outdated. But the main idea is sound. He deals much with anger issues. According to him, one of the main dutes and responsibilities of a parent is to teach their kids to cope with anger and frustration and to learn to express their negative feelings in a constructive way. Because most parents do not master these skills themselves, they need to start to train themselves too. He adresses himself especially towards dads because he is also a dad. But both parents will profit from the books. One note: Campbell is not totally 100% agains spanking. He considers it a "bad method" and he never advises it but in some "exctreme cases " he says it may work as the very last resource. This is one of the things that I consider "outdated". One must consider that How to Really Love your Child was written in the 1980's when many "spanking manuals" were very popular, and it is a reaction against those books. Last edited by MariJo7; 09-16-2016 at 09:36 AM.

09-16-2016, 09:40 AM	#4
3PeasInAPod Deactivated Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: pnw Posts: 8,571	Re: Parenting resources aimed at fathers http://samuelmartin.blogspot.co.il/2...s-journey.html Sent from my SM-T530NU using Tapatalk

09-16-2016, 03:09 PM	#7
Singingmom Administrator Oh, sing to the Lord a new song! Join Date: Apr 2005 Posts: 25,954	Re: Parenting resources aimed at fathers It's really good. __________________ Kelly Wife to my sweetheart for 30 years Grateful mom to 3 young adults Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

09-16-2016, 03:23 PM	#8
charla Administrator Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Oklahoma Posts: 16,667	Re: Parenting resources aimed at fathers My husband and I really liked reading Grace-Based Living by Crystal Lutton. It is a fairly quick read and is easy to understand. It not only covers parenting, but marriage as well. __________________ CHARLA Married to Nick, 31 yrs Mom to Nathan and his wife Abby, and Hope Elizabeth, dancing for eternity with babies: Micah Noel, Grace Anna, Andrew David www.dancingforeternity.org www.irresistiblehope.org Save Save Save Save Save

09-16-2016, 06:42 PM	#9
Pearl In Oyster Rose Garden growing every day Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: California Posts: 4,100	Re: Parenting resources aimed at fathers Connected Families is a ministry by Jim and Lynne Jackson. It is the first materials on positive parenting that have made sense to my husband who struggled with some similar challenges as you described about your husband. They are about to relaunch their book: Discipline that Connects. It has lots of personal anecdotes from both parents' perspective. They also have two free e-books that will give you a good overview of their approach: http://connectedfamilies.org/product...work-pdf-free/ http://connectedfamilies.org/product...ids_misbehave/ __________________ Maggie Celebrating resurrection life after a heart transplant on 2/21/15! Married since 8/28/04 to a big Bear Mama to sweet & spirited Charlotte , born 9/08, determined & imaginative Zachary , born 6/12, one I'll see in heaven 10/10, and easy-going Elliott , born 4/14!

09-18-2016, 06:33 PM	#10
PattyLA Rose Blossom Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: St Louis, MO Posts: 133	Re: Parenting resources aimed at fathers Thank you everyone for sharing those resources. I'll share them with DH. Now to decide if he would do better picking his own book from the list or if I should buy it and put it where he finds it. (neither of us likes to be told what to do. ) __________________ Patty We've all got chronic Lyme Healing with GAPS since Nov 2009 Big girl 2004 Little girl 2008

09-18-2016, 07:16 PM	#11
Lady Grey Rose Garden Join Date: Apr 2006 Posts: 5,620	Re: Parenting resources aimed at fathers link I am newly in love with this author. She writes to dads about daughters, but I've learned a lot too. She has a blog you can check out here. __________________ Sara

09-18-2016, 10:55 PM	#12
Soliloquy Rose Garden Why climb a mountain? Because it's there! Join Date: Mar 2005 Location: Selkirk Mountains Posts: 52,860	Re: Parenting resources aimed at fathers "Between Parent and Child" by Haim Ginott is a classic. He also wrote "Between Parent and Teenager." I need to get the second one myself. It's nice to "see" you again, Patty!

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