Is this considered "infertility"?

[Findabhair]

Sorry, I'm not sure where to put this question.

Anyway, as some of you know we're currently in the process of trying to adopt. Our reason for adopting comes up a lot when we're with others in the same situation.

I'm not sure how exactly to deal with this. In 2009 when I was pregnant with DD I had an awful pregnancy which gave me a lot of health issues and during the pregnancy I was on bedrest for 8 months and had severe morning sickness, among other things.

I saw 5 doctors and all advised DH to get a vasectomy because the risk of my getting pregnant again was too high. They suggested if I accidentally got pregnant I should abort.

When people ask why we chose to adopt I say that I couldn't have any more naturally but then I find in these groups they assume can't have any more means infertility and they also ask about my "infertility" when I tell them my story they look at me like I don't really understand infertility and that I made a choice to not have more naturally or at least that's how I feel they're looking at me.

My psychiatrist told me it's infertility because I can't have more even though I can physically conceive but I can see where they're coming from too.

I don't know what to call it though. Thoughts?

[Katigre]

I'd say you are medically prohibited from having more pregnancies. You're not infertile imo.

[Aerynne]

I agree with Katigre. You're not infertile but pregnancy would be dangerous for you.

[esperanza]

Just tell people you chose not to have any more biological children. Why is none of their business, unless you choose to share more.

[Virginia]

I'd call it whatever you want It's truly none of people's business You don't have to explain yourself to people if you don't want to

[Earthmummy07]

I wouldn't use the word infertility for your situation

There are probably a lot of similar emotions involved because the end point of both is that the choice to have more children was taken out of your hands. But the journey to get to that point is very different.

Most women who have the label of infertility have 'earned' it through X amount of time going through the emotional roller coaster of 'try, fail, try, fail'. There are emotions and psychological trials that go with that that won't be relevant for your situation.

I don't want to be dismissive of your situation at all, because I can understand how hard it must be to make that sort of decision, but from what I have seen of the infertility community there are a lot of women out there who would be hurt/offended to see the word used in this way and feel it was dismissive of what they have been through, even though what you are going through is also hard, but in a different way.

Both situations are hard but I would try to find another way of describing it other than infertility.

ps. sorry if this isn't coming across in the way I intended. It's late but I wanted to respond Also, there is a lot of hugging in my response

[daughter_of_faith]

You definitely don't have to answer questions about why you can or cannot have more biological children; however, I definitely wouldn't call it infertility. Like Earthmummy07 said, infertility is trying to conceive for x amount of time without conceiving. This may be primary infertility (trying to conceive first child) or secondary infertility (trying to conceive a sibling).

[Ravenzmama]

I was infertile for 20 years but now have a 1 year old. They told me the same, as I developed blood clots in my legs after having him. If asked I say it's not possible and if they want to know why I just tell them (politely) that is personal information I don't care to share. No one has ever been bothered by my answer. Maybe you could try something similar, if you want. I just got tired of explaining.