Yelling Support Thread

[canadiyank]

((Dovenoir)) Short naps are so tough, I just don't get the break I need. ITU.

[Soliloquy]

Break, what's that?

I'm definitely interested in doing the challenge.

[nanookmama]

I was losing it over a mess yesterday. DD was doing snow angels in a pile of dried beans that I'd brought out for her. We hit -25 today so outside play isn't really an option for more than a few minutes, so I've been trying to incorporate a lot of sensory options and I just ended up giving myself an excuse to lose my cool.

DH was upstairs and heard me growling and came down to take over parenting while I seethed a few feet away. He's basically the best.

Today both babies are sick, the older is beating up the younger, and I am just doing my best to get through the day. But what am I supposed to do when sensory play options are messy, leaving the house is hazardous to our health, etc etc.

Maybe we'll try finger painting in the bathtub. Can't go wrong with water play right? Maybe?

[Soliloquy]

Our winter isn't as long as yours but we go to the hands-on children's museum a lot in winter. They have a sand table there.

Some moms do shaving cream in the bathtub, our lots of ice cubes to play with in a warm bath.

[dancingWNC]

Originally Posted by MamaMiriam

I generally only yell when I feel I am not heard/listened to otherwise. My biggest trigger right now is the bookshelf. I have 2 small shelves of books, and one whole level has kid books. For months now, DS has been pulling my books off the shelf and trying to throw them all over the living room. He has already destroyed (as in ripped up, ripped the cover off, etc.) 3 books that he got to before I could get to him or knew he was doing it. For months I have been gently, physically redirecting and giving positive instruction "Those are mommy's books, leave them on the shelf. You may have your books, see they are down here." or "Come over here and play with this other toy" etc. I have been doing this over. and over. and over. and over, several times a day every day for months. If I am sitting or engaged in something and can't get to him in seconds to physically move him, I give calm verbal instruction first, hoping he will listen to that and if not, I do get up and go to him. But if I do that, he moves even faster to try to do what he wants before I get to him. That and having done this for the seven bazillionth time...I am just done. I yell because I see no progress and I feel he is not listening to me at all, and in fact rushes to do exactly what I don't want him to do because he knows I am coming. I just want him to STOP WHEN I SAY STOP. Before I yell. This applies to some other situations too but this is the big one right now.

I am beyond frustrated because there is nowhere else I can put my books right now. I have no way to put them up out of his reach. I would really love to install some shelves that are high up on the wall and he can't get to. But it's just not in the budget right now.

can you hang a curtain in front of them? or cover the bookshelf with a big piece of cloth? out of sight, out of mind, as they say.. I love my books, Almost as much as I love my kids.

---------- Post added at 03:45 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:40 PM ----------

Hi, my name is April. and i yell.
sometimes a lot. and I'm mean. I'm embarrassed to even be on here, but it helps to be able to share the good things I do, too. I wish there was a magic "decompress" button for when I'm mad and feel i HAVE to scream.

haven't found it yet. sigh.

[Cat]

I ordered the book and received it yesterday. would love to do challenge.

[justbreathe]

would love to do the challenge but don't have the book.


I'm convinced that I'm not a "normal" yeller. I truly feel like I don't have control of myself sometimes. I get stuck on this scary emotional roller coaster and just have to hold on until it's over. God bless the poor babies who get in my way when I'm like that. I know that everyone says that we do have control over our reactions but I just don't feel like I do. I pray and pray and ask God to change me through his Holy Spirit and I know His word promises that he will hear our cries but sometimes I feel like I'm not getting through. My babies don't deserve to go through this but I don't know how to stop it. I wake up every day determined to be more gentle, more forgiving, more kind, and every day I screw it up.

[filmgirl2911]

oh, Sara
you are not alone in your struggles. really, you're not.

and, as has been said before in this thread - you are here, so you are working on the changes you want to see in your life

is there any one thing you can do in the moment before you lose control that would help you. even if it is as simple as running into the other room?

parenting is a journey. it is not a single day or a single moment. nor is it a year. it is many years. and in those years, there will be good parenting moments and not-so-good ones.

you can do this. God does not go back on his Word. He is your strength. Through him all things *are* possible.

don't quit. and don't give up on yourself.

i'm sure many of us here could say that we have not felt like a normal yeller. I know I've looked at myself and shaken my head - who was that???

anyway. I just want you to know that you are not alone

[Emerald Orchid]

I raised my voice a few times today (almost yelling). The final straw was DS2 vomiting all his stomach's content over the kitchen table, 3 chairs and the floor, in all the possible bends of the chairs. (He is not sick, he chokes easily and he vomits to clear his airway.) That is right after I put a bowl under his mouth and he pushed it away! And right at bedtime too. I bawled my eyes out...

I'm just having a hard time with being a mom, especially that I think about a 3rd child being added. I really feel like a mediocre mom. I'm the best at nurturing infants. But toddlers... I don't like playing with them at all. I like having them around, as long as they let me do my own stuff (cleaning and cooking basically). I like taking them outside too, which we don't get to do a lot with the cooler no-snow weather.

Sorry, just venting today's frustration.

[Dovenoir]

Does anyone find that while trying to squelch yelling other undesirable behaviors pop up (in yourself)?

[canadiyank]

Green Orchid - I have a hard time with toddlers, too. My least favourite time is age 1-2.

Dovenoir - you mean in yourself or the kids?

[Tandem mama]

Grr touch screen. Looks like I accidentally unsubbed. I've been doing well despite being sick.
A couple snaps, then gaining control which is improvement over letting the monster loose.

[Soaring Eagle]

Well I messed up this afternoon. Trying to get kids in shower. I totally lost it with dd. I was a total frustrated mess. I know I was stressed out trying to get kids ready, 101 things to do before tomorrow....

I did apologize to each of them. I know I need to plan my days better. Even though I can't really afford to, I may take a week off of school and work on making a plan/routine so I will feel more in control instead of getting stressed out because I didn't do anything that needed to be done in the house until last minute. Or maybe I'll try and work on that this weekend.

[canadiyank]

Doing better. Being done with PMS helps. Trying to get regular sleep. Dh is gone the next few days so I'm nervous...

[tempus vernum]

I was hollering today . . .