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12-16-2011, 06:11 PM | #301 |
Rose Garden
Why climb a mountain? Because it's there!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Selkirk Mountains
Posts: 52,860
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
On days when I am really self disciplined, everything is so much better. I get up at 6 or 7 no mastter how tired I am (my kids are often up until 11 or 12 and my oldest is the only one who sttn), get dressed immediately, get my work done immediately. Keep the tv off. Get the kids engaged in something in the morning. Plan my menus. But this is not natural to me, I hate feeling caged in.
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12-16-2011, 08:47 PM | #302 | |
Rose Garden
Dove - noir
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Cincy, OH
Posts: 5,600
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
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12-16-2011, 09:40 PM | #303 |
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
That's funny LisaM because sometimes it's exactlly the opposite that I need to do. I don't have a set routine for each day as such but the minute I wake up my brain builds a plan for the day based on what the house/children etc need or rather what I decide they need & if my plan gets 'mucked up' by their actual needs I get frustrated & yell. I really need to work hard at not rigidly sticking to that plan no matter what but to ebb & flow with the days happenings.
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12-19-2011, 06:39 AM | #304 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: London, UK
Posts: 1,927
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
N/m
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proud mum of three: DS1 (born Mar'09 ) DS2 (born Aug'11 ) DD1 (born Mar'15 ) Last edited by Daria_Aleksandrovna; 12-19-2011 at 06:11 PM. |
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12-20-2011, 01:36 PM | #305 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Rainy Oregon
Posts: 8,997
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
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The Following User Says Thank You to shaslove For This Useful Post: | canadiyank (12-20-2011) |
12-20-2011, 04:59 PM | #306 |
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I really feel like I'm grasping at straws lately with dd. She will be 2 in Feb. and whines for just about everything she wants because she's not really "talking" yet. I feel terrible when I yell, "WHAT" at her and realize she was just needing her sippy cup or something. Being a parent is so much harder than I thought it would be and I hate yelling.
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12-20-2011, 05:11 PM | #307 | |
Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 16,670
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
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CHARLA Married to Nick, 31 yrs Mom to Nathan and his wife Abby, and Hope Elizabeth, dancing for eternity with babies: Micah Noel, Grace Anna, Andrew David Save Save Save Save Save
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12-28-2011, 12:09 PM | #308 |
Rose Bush
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Warner Robins GA
Posts: 311
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Checking back in to say that I was doing awful. I mean so awful that my husband said something to me about it. Lots of drama- a blow up- holiday crazies- getting ready to go back to school... Most of this is situational. Also in general I'm sliding back to punitive parenting and I don't like it. I don't like the way it makes me perceive the kids They are so much more when I'm not only attending to their mess ups. I feel secure and confident in the level of hard work I do to tend to this flock. But I'm grateful that so much of it came to a head last night in our (eh..) conversation. Today has been much much better. I've been looking back on what makes me yell less and applying it in large does today with great success. I'm still a little nutty but it's hard to get off that train when you get it going as fast as I have lately. I hadn't even logged on to GCM in forever... First thing I saw when I did was this thread. Awesome timing and help
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Annie ...like the orphan
A career student at 'God Is Still Growing Me' Techincal College Jointly enrolled at 'Amen To That' University My husband is active duty Army. We had three kids in thirty one months. Fortunately I've kept them all alive and mostly healthy Even the stressful days are blessings and/or struggles that we've overcome! The next generation of perpetually in progress humans: Darrell(Dec2006) Jonas(April2008) Katie(July2009) |
The Following User Says they are praying for Cook: | shaslove (12-29-2011) |
12-28-2011, 06:27 PM | #309 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 6,944
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I am finding the Christmas "hangover" to be incredibly difficult to manage. The kids are all emotional and WILD and I am trying to get the house back in order, find time to do some home school planning, and get us back on track with our eating...all of this to say that some apologies have been issued today.
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Melody Married since 1999, rebuilding since June 2013 Hybrid Mommy to ds1 (12/02, SPD) dd (9/04) ds2 (10/07, C22 disorder) ds3 (5/08) ds4 (1/09) dd2 (9/11)
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12-29-2011, 12:50 AM | #310 | |
Rose Bush
Five Generations of Ladies <3
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 335
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
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Jessica (ISFJ) Married to John 6/18/05 Mama to Julia Faith 9/30/07 Jenna Hope 12/16/09 James Anthony & John Michael 4/4/13
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12-29-2011, 01:40 PM | #311 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Rainy Oregon
Posts: 8,997
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
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Lina has been staying up WAAAYYY too late (ie, we put her to bed and she is still awake at 10!) so I got her up early today and asked her babysitter to run around some. Looking forward to next week and routine again! |
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01-03-2012, 02:31 PM | #312 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: home on the hill
Posts: 1,593
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I accidentally stumbled across this gentleness challenge on another site,
http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/01/i...ess-challenge/ I don't know anything about the rest of the site but I thought that this following quote was really good. "Are you baffled at the fact that your children are not listening to you? Research has shown that when a parent raises their voice at a child – a defense mechanism kicks in that helps the child emotionally protect themselves by tuning out what you are actually saying. When we as moms go on a long rant about something the child has done wrong – we may feel better because we got our feelings out – but our child has not been brought any closer to wisdom and understanding. Surprisingly, when we harshly tell our children we do not like something they are doing – all they hear is – “you don’t like me“- period. It’s the harshness that accompanies the correction that causes the child to take personal offense and not listen." - Courtney @ Women Living Well Ministries
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Lesli (DYT 2) Image already added
Wife to Dh since Sept. 2005 Mama to: dd1 - Sept. 2007 ds1 - June 2009 ds2 - April 2011 ds3 - October 2013 dd2 - November 2015 |
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01-03-2012, 03:32 PM | #313 |
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
This section might just be talking about a 'yelling rant' but I often think too how non-yelling rants get tuned out too. I can still remember the feeling of my mum going on & on & on. I'm not sure why she did it but I know I often fall into that trap when I'm explaining something to the kids & as I'm talking I think 'oh, this way of explaining will make more sense to them' & then I prattle on about that & then I think of an even better way to explain it until my eldest will say 'yes, yes mum, I get it!'
Short, simple & to the point is often heard better by a child & it leaves less time for our anger to go from simmer to boiling over. |
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01-03-2012, 08:00 PM | #314 |
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I am going to get a cup of tea and read this thread. I wanted to say thank you though to all of you who are honest about it. I only read the first page so far and I appreciate the honesty from everyone! |
01-03-2012, 08:05 PM | #315 |
Rose Garden
She's a good girl, loves her Mama, loves Jesus, and Kentucky too
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 7,873
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
joining in :group hug
I'm really sick of asking my oldest to forgive me (over and over again). My child is so forgiving and he forgives every.single.time...but I feel so bad for him that I'm constantly apologizing...I feel like we're in the abuse cycle where I yell, then I'm sorry, over and over again. It makes me so so sad for him. I know there is grace, but there has to be a stop to this. I have been sick a lot this past year and ya know...when we feel bad we act bad. And I know that I'm way hormonally off-balance, which I am working on under a wonderful doctor's care. My moods are already improving...now it's the "habit" of yelling I need to break from. This is at THE top of my "new year's resolutions".
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Wife to Designer/Creative Director ESFJ - piano teacher Noah 2005 Coleman 2007 Josie 2018 Last edited by simplegirl; 01-03-2012 at 08:17 PM. |
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