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01-04-2012, 05:33 AM | #316 |
Rose Garden
In my world everyone's a pony
Join Date: Jul 2011
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I've been short with sunshine lately. She's been very contrary and had a bad attitude. I'm so frustrated!
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I'm Megan (ENFP, DYT Type 1)
Married since 2007 to my Apple-geeky artist Don (INTJ) Mommy to Lydia (1/08) "Nature is really dirty" Charlotte (7/10) "me am not chawlotte me are batman" Introducing Nolan January 11, 2014 |
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01-04-2012, 05:50 AM | #317 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2008
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Ooooohhhhh. . . I SO need to be a part of this!!! I'm subbing so that I can come back and read through this when I have a bit more time! GREAT idea for a support thread!!!
(ps. . . have I mentioned yet how very happy I am to be back on GCM?! )
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01-04-2012, 09:26 AM | #318 |
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I like age 4 but it can be challenging as well. I found scripting what I want to hear especially helpful, as well as differentiating between a "high/whiny" and "low/pleasant" tone of voice.
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01-04-2012, 10:11 AM | #319 | |
Rose Garden
In my world everyone's a pony
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Where everyone eats rainbows and poops butterflies
Posts: 11,743
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Quote:
Or if she is being sassy I do the same "you must be sassing me right now." It gets exhausting!
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I'm Megan (ENFP, DYT Type 1)
Married since 2007 to my Apple-geeky artist Don (INTJ) Mommy to Lydia (1/08) "Nature is really dirty" Charlotte (7/10) "me am not chawlotte me are batman" Introducing Nolan January 11, 2014 |
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01-04-2012, 12:36 PM | #320 |
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Yes, it sure is! It's helpful at a neutral time to talk about the "high/whining" tone vs. the "low/pleasant" tone. Demonstrate. My kids (when it's not in the moment) have thought it's really hilarious to see me demonstrate the "high/whining" voice. Then, in the moment, scripting, "I'd like to hear that in a more pleasant tone of voice. 'Mommy, can you help me, please?'"
It is absolutely exhausting, you're right about that. It does get better, though! Eventually you can cut it down to, "Try again in a pleasant tone," and then just, "Try again, please." I won't say my kids don't whine anymore but it really, really helps. My 10 yr old is pretty much past that phase and my 7 yo is pretty good with a quick reminder needed sometimes. There's something about that "high/whining" tone of voice that just sets a person on edge, isn't there? |
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01-04-2012, 02:18 PM | #321 |
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
On top of transitioning home from a very stimulating holiday vacation, I am dealing with major PMS. DH was still home Mon. and Tues. so I was able to rest up, though he and I had a few heated/emotional exchanges. Today I am not faring so well. I've screamed a few times at the kids and even screamed "D____ it!" in front of them. I never swear. Seriously. I feel like a horrible mama today. I just want to stay in bed and cry. But my kids need me to take them to the park. I think we'll be okay after we get out.
---------- Post added at 09:18 PM ---------- Previous post was at 09:16 PM ---------- Triggers today have mostly been A. resisting instructions. We had altercations over her getting dressed and cleaning up her stuff. I really need to figure out how to handle those triggers on these hormonal days. |
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01-04-2012, 03:52 PM | #322 |
Rose Garden
She's a good girl, loves her Mama, loves Jesus, and Kentucky too
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 7,873
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Arming yourself with good supplements has helped me with the pms. I'm now taking Vitex particularly for this.
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Wife to Designer/Creative Director ESFJ - piano teacher Noah 2005 Coleman 2007 Josie 2018 |
01-04-2012, 04:11 PM | #323 |
Rose Bush
Five Generations of Ladies <3
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 335
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I have been taking supplements for several months now to help with PMS/PMDD. They have been helping a lot! I started a thread a while back for suggestions of what to take and I'm sure there are others if you search. Hormones can be rough
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Jessica (ISFJ) Married to John 6/18/05 Mama to Julia Faith 9/30/07 Jenna Hope 12/16/09 James Anthony & John Michael 4/4/13
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01-04-2012, 04:28 PM | #324 |
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Are they safe while nursing?
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01-04-2012, 06:10 PM | #325 |
Rose Bush
Five Generations of Ladies <3
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Indiana
Posts: 335
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Honestly not sure, I started them after weaning. I'm sure someone around here wiser than myself knows
---------- Post added at 07:10 PM ---------- Previous post was at 07:04 PM ---------- Auroras mom gave me the recommendations that I ended up taking, so maybe you can ask her
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Jessica (ISFJ) Married to John 6/18/05 Mama to Julia Faith 9/30/07 Jenna Hope 12/16/09 James Anthony & John Michael 4/4/13
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01-04-2012, 08:50 PM | #326 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Sep 2005
Posts: 4,775
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I'm really, REALLY, in need of this thread. I lost it today and my oldest (8 next week) went off crying to her church group tonight with dh, telling him that she doesn't feel loved and we can't go a day without yelling.
The not feeling loved thing I take with a grain of salt, since she says that sometimes, just for being disciplined. She's going through a sassy and dramatic phase. Seriously though, I feel like I do yell alot, primarily for plain old ignoring, even if I get right down at their level and in their face to make sure they heard me. Even though the last few days have been really good (alot of intentional focus on not yelling on my part), today was a big bust. it's hard for me to find triggers, but the only thing I could come up with today is that we went back to no tv/computer games in the day now that holidays are over and school is back (homeschool). Looks like I have alot of posts to read through, so off I go.
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Amy Life Partner to Mom to 1/2004, 7/2006, Baby boy 6/16/08-6/20/08, 4/2010, 2/2014 |
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01-05-2012, 01:02 AM | #327 |
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
*Hugs* just reading quickly as I need to get my kids to bed. It's been my nearly 6 year old doing most of the yelling lately. at least I feel I'm finally getting some tools to help her. She's always been explosive which I'm sure she gets from me & I feel so bad when I don't know how to help her express things better.
I haven't yelled too much lately & I'm sure my homoeopathic thyroid remedies that I'm back on are helping. I'm also getting extra sleep lately which makes suuuuch a difference. I'm trying to set my biggest kiddie up with something to do & then go off for a day nap with my two younger ones. I've been getting one or sometimes two day naps a week which is really helping me cope. |
01-06-2012, 08:28 AM | #328 |
Rose Bouquet
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 750
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Have to go back and read everything here; forgive me if this not on the right track.
I absolutely lost my mind last night and yelled at DS7 really loudly and forcefully over something relatively minor (though definitely my biggest trigger). He started crying and told me not to yell at him. I apologized and got right back on the wagon, but I feel extremely guilty. On the bright side, I feel a little better knowing that a few years ago he wouldn't have even flinched because the yelling happened so often. And I wouldn't have even noticed I had damaged him.
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01-09-2012, 06:54 AM | #329 | |
Rose Garden
.thankful.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: MN
Posts: 6,451
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Quote:
Back on the wagon for me. |
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to mollobe For This Useful Post: | jandjmommy (01-10-2012), shaslove (01-18-2012) |
01-09-2012, 10:19 AM | #330 |
Rose Garden
...sometimes I can't see it for the trees
Join Date: Mar 2005
Posts: 4,145
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
More encouragement,from Sally Clarkson, on The Gentleness Challenge
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