Help for a mom whose husband is working crazy hours

[mipennsn]

My BFF is 32 weeks pg with baby #4. Her Dh is working crazy, crazy hours so she is essentially single parenting and working part time. She needs some help with her boys 11, 6.5 & 5. I was helping her with some paperwork stuff today and helped her with her boys for a bit.

She is looking for some help and resources as she navigates adding another to her household. Books, links, etc that might help. I have encouraged her to join GCM.

[Beth1231]

Aholyexperience.com has fed me and given me some strength many times in these seasons of my husband working crazy hours.

[Little Forest]

I have been there with 6, 4, 2 and baby and again with 9, 7, 5, 2 and baby. DH working long hours and I was solo parenting for the night time routine, no relatives in town or other help. It is just hard. There is nothing magical that could make it not hard.

If I could go back, I would make our meals even more simple. Last night I cooked pasta and peas for dinner (because DH is out of town for business this week ). It makes it a little easier that the older ones are more self sufficient and if I pull teeth I get them to pitch in around the house.

It just gets easier every year, but still it is a lot of hard work for one mother to do day in and day out. I would never want to go back to those earlier days.

[mommychem]

I agree that it is just hard. I recommend simplifying everything. Simple meals, simple clothing (a few outfits to wash over and over), put away toys that are just too messy, simple meals (oatmeal for breakfast, pb and j with fruit on the side for lunch, stews and rice for dinner). The 11 and 6.5 year old are old enough to do a lot imo like sweep or vacuum, load dishes into the dishwasher or hand wash, play with, entertain the younger boy, sort clothes and do laundry, etc. I also recommend lots of big muscle movement and lots outside time. Keeping them busy and giving them responsibility may cut down on the discipline "issues."

[mamacat]

Agree with simple - anything that cuts back on workload.now that it is summer kids can sleep in cotton knit short sets they can then wear next day. Paper plates. A HUGE thing I would highly advise is finding some tween/teen aged ohers helpers that will charge very little and come and play with/help with kids and maybe some light housekeeping chores. Teaching the kids tasks that they take care of on a regular basis so she can count on those being done.Older one can do all vacuuming and cleaning tubs shower area with a long handled brush. can also start loads of ash or transfer from washer to dryer.Younger ones can put clean silverware away, pair up socks etc.

[WanderingJuniper]

Set ideal aside and live for good enough. I solo parented more than I really want to say over the last 14 years. Some seasons it could all be done. Others it was paper plates and hotdogs and lots of grace for myself.