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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 06-18-2017, 08:51 PM   #16
twentysixcats
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Default Re: Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook.

Quote:
Originally Posted by MaybeGracie View Post
Wow, that linked blog post was awful to read through.
It was... I couldn't actually finish it.
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Old 06-18-2017, 08:55 PM   #17
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Default Re: Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook.

The idea of using "newborn" and "schedule" in the same sentence is , or at least it would be if it didn't cause the heartache it does for babies and parents who fall for that.
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Old 06-19-2017, 01:25 PM   #18
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Default Re: Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook.

I think you can pull that off with some babies. I'm not saying that it's a good idea or that the baby won't suffer. Just that you can pull it off with some babies and think it works. I could have probably done that with Jacob and he would have gotten into line pretty quickly.
Ivy would have been a very different story. I have said if I had chosen that approach with her, I don't think she would have survived. Or if she did, she would have been scarred for the rest of her life.
I think my two children sum up the problem with all one size fits all formulas. If you have a passive child or at least one who isn't as intense as others, you can make that work. If you have a child with any amount of spunk, you are fighting your child's nature and that's just a losing battle no matter who wins.
I'll pray, if God could reach me with a four day old newborn, then he can reach this person.
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Old 06-19-2017, 07:31 PM   #19
WaitPatientlyOnTheLord
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Default Re: Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook.

Oh gracious! Id never heard of Dr Denmark before! I dare say shes got even worse advice on sleeping and feeding than what Ive heard of Babywise!
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Old 06-20-2017, 02:10 PM   #20
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Default Re: Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook.

That blog was awful. A 3-day-old baby, being left to CIO without food or water from 10 pm until 6 pm. That is absolutely child neglect. A baby that young can get dehydrated in that amount of time, especially if baby is crying.

I commented on the blog post.
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Old 06-20-2017, 08:32 PM   #21
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Default Re: Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook.

This church I mentioned that loved Dr. Denmark has a very well known singer who is the worship leader. She had her first baby a few years ago and she posted on FB something about "Why is it that the baby sleeps all day except from 10pm to 6am?" She was just trying to be lighthearted (and didn't say anything to indicate she was letting baby CIO or withhold nursing), but I knew from that comment that they'd gotten her with the Dr. Denmark schedule. It broke my heart. I decided not to engage with that comment on FB for my own sanity but .

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Old 06-21-2017, 10:28 AM   #22
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Default Re: Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook.

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Old 06-21-2017, 10:38 AM   #23
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Default Re: Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook. Don't engage on Facebook.

I wonder if there is an ethical way to conduct studies on kids whose parents did this kind of thing to them and one on kids whose parents did not and see just what and how profound the short and long term effects of CIO and the like really is. I know cortisol and other hormones have been measured, but I wonder if there is a way to show what else is happening and will continue to happen to those babies. It seems to me that if we can just show how hard this is on them, that parents would abandon these things in a heartbeat.
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