anyone else ever move by choice but not want to leave their house?

[greenishmama]

I've been wanting to buy a diff. house for years. Even when we bought this house I had "settled" and thought of it as a starter home. It's in a subdivision and I always wanted to be out in the country with more space and privacy. The current reasons I'd still want to move after being here 16 yrs are for well water (we have chlorinated, fluorinated water), more privacy, enough land for my boys to make trails and play in the woods, no smells from the county landfill, and a more open layout home and better homeschool space.

sometimes when we go look at a home for sale (we live in an area where something we even want to look at comes up only every few months) I suddenly feel that I don't want to move and that I like my current house (and I guess push my complaints far back). I worry that I won't like the new house after all. Or that it would be too stressful and sad for the boys (ages 9 and 6) even though if we bought a diff. house it would have much to offer them that we don't have now. We homeschool so there is no school district transition for boys. we'd be moving within a 20 mile radius (or less) so they'd still have access to the same friends and activities (though some would mean more driving). I also like open sky- access to see the clouds and the weather coming at us. So houses in or near woods I'm not sure about.

do I have an unhealthy attachment to my house? How can I feel so sad about leaving it (I have trouble saying good-bye to people or things in general) and yet have some very good reasons for wanting to move. It is so frustrating to myself. I'm standing here now looking out into my yard and it's just plain familiar. the swingset, the shed. neither of it attractive really. but we have a beautiful crabapple tree back there. I wonder if it came down to it and we did buy a new house (which we've almost done- made offers in the past but fell through) that I would end up overwhelmingly sad or anxious. and yet... read on to hear about the house we are going to look at today- I ramble on....

so the house we are going to look at today- a log home (I'm not fond of log homes and love white- white trim, etc. like in my current house) but this log home is chalet like in the middle with big windows/cathedral ceiling in living room, it is on a stream/small river with a little bridge over it, deck, very long driveway through the woods (will be hard to take care of snow but good for the boys riding bikes I guess- dirt driveway though), it is surrounded by woods with probably not enough cleared away from house for my liking. It has well water. The eating area is not next to any windows. (my current kitchen table is right next to a big sliding door and I and at least one of my sons enjoys looking outside as we sit there during meals and school). there is a curved glass sunroom off kitchen in this house for sale that we could eat in but faces north. I really think I might feel too closed up at that table that is surrounded by the kitchen and two walls. other than that I'm guessing the rest of the house has great light. no real homeschool area that I can see from photos yet. a loft but the A-shaped so no tall bookshelves there! No idea where we'd put all our books (we have a lot) and supplies, etc. The house is about 1800 sq ft. but I think that includes the loft which is sort of wasted space but nice with big windows. It has a finished basement family room that there are no photos of and I'm guessing is dark with only 1 or 2 small high basement windows. overall, the house/property seems like a good value for the price and I've always wanted a stream (and this one won't dry up!) and some woods. But I feel sad about the thought of leaving my current home even though I complain about certain things (the water really bothers me and lack of creative space outside). Would feel nervous about being "in the woods"- knowing I will not be able to see enough sky. we could probably cut some trees down around the house but only if we could find someone to cut for free because they want the cut wood. I've never wanted to have so much "wood" in my home- so much golden wood color everywhere. I'm not sure why. I just like white. I like brightness and neutral colors with white. White just does not go with a log home from what I've seen. ?? there could be some white walls I guess. all my life (my father was a builder so I used to look at house magazines, etc.) I've been drawn to more traditional, colonial even, homes- yet open layout. White/painted trims. If we were to buy a log home I do not want to decorate it "Adirondack style" or lodge style with bears and woodsy things. It's only about 5-6 min. from where we live now.

so... am I crazy? should I just not ever move? or would I adjust and love a new home despite being sad about leaving the old one (with all that I complain about anyway). Would my kids transition well with all it has to offer?

[AugustMama]

I think there is always an attachment to a home that we have lived in with our families. There are memories there and a level of comfort and familiarity. That doesn't mean that you don't want to move, just that you would probably experience some sense of loss if you did. Nothing wrong with that IMO. However, it sounds like you are just trying to talk yourself into this other home. It sounds lovely, but if you don't like the aesthetic of log homes, it probably is not the right home for you. Just my two cents.

[Little Forest]

When I feel wishy washy about something, it definitely helps to have DH's opinion on things and be able to talk things through to come to a conclusion. Other times I could do without his opinion thoug!
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[mamacat]

http://www.houzz.com/ideabooks/11487...side-log-cabin As tou go to see this house today ask if you can picture yourselves living there and it being home.able is important to you so see if there is another place to put it and what the place meant for it could be used for

[HomeWithMyBabies]

We just moved from a house I loved. Ds3 was born there so it was even more special to me. It's a better situation for us in a lot of ways but it was still hard to let go.

[arelyn]

Well it sounds like my dream home so I'm biased there.

BUT I am a moving expert (14 moves, 10 years of marriage) and despite being so nomadic there is a part of me that misses every home in some aspect. I miss the little cabin we lived in on the river despite being so cold we slept on the sofa bed near hte wood stove all winter long. I miss the crazy B college in MN which I hated but it was right down the road from the most amazing nature center and playground. I miss the home we lived in when DS2 was born. It was such a nice layout and a block from our best friends from college and walking distance from everything. It's SO hard leaving a home and all the memories and the parts which are perfect even if there are other parts that are hard or inconvenient. I already know what I hate about this apartment and what I will miss and I know I will move on.

[melliethepooh]

I loathed our last house with a purple passion, and I still cried when we sold it. I wouldn't use those feelings as part of the decision.

[greenishmama]

Originally Posted by melliethepooh

I loathed our last house with a purple passion, and I still cried when we sold it. I wouldn't use those feelings as part of the decision.

How did you deal with your sadness? Did it effect others in your family?

[Mother of Sons]

I think it's pretty normal. Especially if change makes you uneasy. Btw save extra money if you want well water. If anything goes wrong it's very very expensive.

[melliethepooh]

Originally Posted by greenishmama

How did you deal with your sadness? Did it effect others in your family?

Meh. I got over it pretty quickly. It's just feelings. Leaving a home behind is hard, even when it's the right choice. And the general stress of moving trumped any sadness anyone might have been feeling. No comparison, really.

[Sparrow]

I've left homes I've loved. One thing DH reminds me is once our stuff is in there it really is just a house. I carry the memories with me.

I still wouldn't move into a home I wasn't fond of. I think the right house just jumps out at you, kwim?

[ECingMama]

My friends moved into their dream home in the country. They are 30 min from home church. They want to move closer to church. Their oldest is a new teen and be wants to be closer to friends too. They're glad they lived the country, chickens, etc.dream so they know it's not what they really want.

We move frequently. I'm glad I can take my family and my stuff. Each house has pros and cons.

[greenishmama]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

I've left homes I've loved. One thing DH reminds me is once our stuff is in there it really is just a house. I carry the memories with me.

I still wouldn't move into a home I wasn't fond of. I think the right house just jumps out at you, kwim?

that's what I'm not sure about- if the right house will "jump out at me". When we looked at the house we are in now back in 1998 we had looked at over 40 houses! and that did not include drive-bys that we never went inside. now in that time I went from half-time work to full-time so our budge changed significantly (it was hard to find anything in our area in the lower budge we started with).
now... in a way I am pickier because we don't "have" to move so it needs to be "right" and worth the moving (even though still local) and money, etc. I'm not really insanely picky and know that there will always need to be some painting, maybe some udpates, etc. but no house has yet to scream "I'm it!". (well, not in our price range! if we could afford a lot more sure- there are great houses out there). so I'm just not sure anymore. am I too picky? or did we just not find the "right" house yet... I pray about it... but so far God hasn't jolted me with a clear "shout-out"..... not sure if it's because the right house has not come along or I'm passing up opportunities...