Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread - Page 23

RealLifeMama · 06-03-2010, 11:00 AM

I think that having just one baby made it more difficult for me to clean because 1) there was just one child and she had no playmates 2) I was still in the learning curve of how to take care of my home with a family involved 3) I could get away with doing less because there just was not as much to do (as in, I have to stay on top of things better because things fall apart really quickly if I don't.) and 4) I was not responsible for teaching and training the children to do housework. Now that I am, we have to do it.

I always say that if I could go back to just having one but with the same habits I have now, I would be golden!

Things have been at their normal level of OKness here. I am keeping up with the dishes and laundry and I would not be devestated if someone came by. (which they are not! They always only come by when things are trashed. Really, we have maintained a good level of neatless/cleanliness for over a week now, and no one has dropped by unexpectedly. We normally have people drop in all the time! We did have some expected company on Tuesday, and it was soooo nice not to have to spend all day cleaning. All I had to do was vacuum really quickly (which was quick because there was not stuff all over the floor) give the powder room a quick wipedown and fresh towels, and just keep up with the normal kitchen stuff during the day. It was so nice!

I do still have a lot of work to do, but I am at that point where I do not know where to start now to make it better than it is, KWIM?

Kiara.I · 06-03-2010, 01:25 PM

Glad everyone's doing well on their houses. My BO MIL will be here later today

I knew she was coming. And we have cleaned. But....well...I'm part of this thread, what do you want?

Besides, I've noticed a trend. The harder I work and the cleaner it is, the more critical comments. If I don't even try, she says nothing. I wonder if she thinks I'm a lost cause? Well, from her perspective, I guess I am.

Peridot · 06-03-2010, 02:24 PM

yeah, I'm pretty sure MIL has given up both me and DH for lost causes.

duckwithoneleg · 06-08-2010, 11:31 AM

ACK!

my friend from when i was four is coming... and so is our whole church (well, it's a little home church, but still)

i'm more stressed about the friend i've had since i was 4 hahaha - call it "sibling" rivalry or something, but she is DEFINITELY a clean-ie and i want my house to be up to her par (or at least not leave her feeling terrorized)

this is so lame, but in some goofy way i feel a need to show her that i am an adult (that's always how it's been though. since before we were adults.)

i just want to leave as little room for me projecting criticism onto myself (and ... thinking it's coming from her when it's really coming from me?) as possible. if that makes any sense at all.

so here's my list.

*homework (not house-related, but still needs to get done)
*dishes (heh. that is, every dish in our house is dirty. every pot, every pan.)
*laundry (same as dishes. it all needs washed. why? you ask? yeah, last time i did 4 loads, didn't fold it in time, and the cat came along and peed on it. awesome.)
*set up our bedroom (we moved in a month or two ago and just finished painting that room)
*paint bookshelf in livingroom
*paint livingroom (gotta get that paint first tho)
*spraypaint end table
*and entertainment center
*clean off kitchen table (still boxes on it from the move

)
*prime/paint guest room (currently super high gloss mermaid nailpolish teal

)
*prime/paint upstairs (don't even get me started)
*organize art and music stuff upstairs
*move rubbermaid organizer to bathroom (and reorganize clothes)
*paint cabinets and trim in kitchen
*make counter-bar
*find bar-stools on craigslist?
*and a futon?
*clean out sugar glider's cages
*and puppy's crate
* vacuum (but first we have to buy a vacuum

)
*wash bathroom mats
*sweep
*mop

anyone think this is do-able? before saturday?

Kiara.I · 06-08-2010, 12:50 PM

Wow. That's a big list. Are you working/out of the house for school as well? Or are you home most of the day?

IF you're going to try to do it all (I'd skip painting, probably

) then is your DH helping? PLEASE tell me he's helping...

Start the laundry right away. It can do itself while homework happens, for instance (or paint shopping). And definitely use your timer. Sometimes switching tasks feels more restful than slogging on with one big one until it's done.

Oh, and that guest room--who's going to see it? Just focus on rooms they'll actually SEE. Guess what? You don't have to offer a tour! Say the tour can be next month after you're set up.

mamajane · 06-08-2010, 01:20 PM

I agree, skip the painting, if possible. If it were me, I'd focus first on the must do's like dishes and hope to get those done.

Sounds like a great motivator, though, and I bet you'll be happier with your house when it's over

duckwithoneleg · 06-08-2010, 02:49 PM

yeah... i forgot to add, the friend is staying with her daughter for possibly 2 nights, and then just like one or two days after they leave, dh's brother's coming to stay for a week.

the best friend will require a tour. because she lives a few hours away and will want to see all of our house and it's just her personality.

everyone from church doesn't have to see our whole house, but we're a pretty tight knit bunch and i can definitely see them wanting to. (tho i'm still not as stressed about them hahaha, they know me and my messy ways... i've lived with my pastor and her sweet family in the past

)

the painting will definitely come after the cleaning that is absolutely necessary to feel like the house is somewhat presentable, but... i really really really want it to be done too

. the computer is in the middle of the room in the guest room currently and the puppy has to be watched SO carefully so he doesn't get to the computer chords (closed door most of the time, but... door handle's a little iffy... HAHAHAHA

oh man, we're a mess!), and i really want a place to the overnight guests that are coming so they don't have to sleep in the livingroom (which, as a worst case scenario wouldn't be too awful, just... a preference thing)

dh wants, i'd even say longs to help!!! but he is a full time student with 4 jobs

and it's physically impossible for him to do much (this is why the dishes are in the state they are in. he felt so guilty that i'd been doing dishes every day and wanted to help out so badly that he asked me not to do them so he could give me a break. but then he didn't have time that day. or the next, or the next. and it grew into a monster that i didn't feel ready to tackle until learning that people are coming over

i told him:

and asked him not to tell me he wants to do something unless he has time right that second to do it. from now on.

fortunately the only classes i'm taking right now are CNA training. which is a little intense in it's own way, but i only am gone for class mondays and wednesdays, and this week (thankfully) it's only 4 1/2 hours each of those days instead of 6 1/2.

it's a little tricky with the puppy, but he's being so good about house training right now (especially today, for some reason

) i should be able to work straight through the rest of today, thursday, and friday.

thanks for the encouragement, you guys!

Kiara.I · 06-08-2010, 03:55 PM

Call in a couple of friends. Throw the laundry in, go get paint, come home, assign one friend to paint one room and one to paint another while you do dishes?

duckwithoneleg · 06-08-2010, 03:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiara.I

Call in a couple of friends. Throw the laundry in, go get paint, come home, assign one friend to paint one room and one to paint another while you do dishes?

hehe that's an excellent idea

thank you! i might just do that!

houseforjoy · 06-08-2010, 04:15 PM

hello! can I join?? I have been messy my WHOLE life, I am such a pack rat-- I put emotions on to things and then have a hard time throwing them out

i have been getting better and have been on a throwing out rampage trying to get rid of all this "stuff" the book that helps me the most is the house that cleans itself by mindy starns clark. she IS a messy person who found a system that worked for her family because it doesn't really cause her family to change but it makes the house adapt to the habits of the household creating solutions to messy areas. anyway i need all the support and encouragment i can get to keep some semblance of order in my house so i am joining your thread

mamajane · 06-09-2010, 09:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kiara.I

Call in a couple of friends. Throw the laundry in, go get paint, come home, assign one friend to paint one room and one to paint another while you do dishes?

Or, you can inform your church that they're coming to a work party to help you get your new house set up!

duckwithoneleg · 06-09-2010, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamajane

Or, you can inform your church that they're coming to a work party to help you get your new house set up!

yeah except they all just moved into new houses too! it was crazy! we were all looking for new homes and we all found them right around the same time! so they have just as much work to do as i do ... and they're all crazy busy right now ...

but i do have one sweet friend who going to come help out on friday!

she doesn't even know about all the people coming over, she just volunteered because she's awesome like that

duckwithoneleg · 06-10-2010, 01:49 PM

did i already mention that i succeeded in coming down with a cold?

the list is growing and dwindling at the same time. as usually happens with me. the more i do, the more i realize needs to be done.

but i have completed the dishes!

it took me a whole day. and of course at the end of all that we made dinner and i had to turn right around and do some of them again... such is life, yes?

the laundry is a work in progress... our drier's being bejiggidy and it's taking like 4 rounds to dry things

we made a countertop bar thingy!!! i'm REALLY proud of it! it looks so good!!!

still have two rooms to paint. well, three actually but for today and tomorrow, two.

still have SO MUCH organizing to do...

i figured out why i'm so dead set on painting though! it's because the furniture and things can't go where they belong until the walls are finished. and until the big stuff can be in order, my brain stops working when i look at the little things that are everywhere.

does that happen to any of you ever?

mamajane · 06-10-2010, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by duckwithoneleg

my brain stops working when i look at the little things that are everywhere.

does that happen to any of you ever?

Uh, I don't know, I've always got little stuff everywhere!

duckwithoneleg · 06-10-2010, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mamajane

Uh, I don't know, I've always got little stuff everywhere!

hehe, me too...

also, though, just to clarify: by "little" i mean "smaller than a couch"

06-03-2010, 11:00 AM	#331
RealLifeMama Rose Garden Join Date: Mar 2005 Posts: 18,256	Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread I think that having just one baby made it more difficult for me to clean because 1) there was just one child and she had no playmates 2) I was still in the learning curve of how to take care of my home with a family involved 3) I could get away with doing less because there just was not as much to do (as in, I have to stay on top of things better because things fall apart really quickly if I don't.) and 4) I was not responsible for teaching and training the children to do housework. Now that I am, we have to do it. I always say that if I could go back to just having one but with the same habits I have now, I would be golden! Things have been at their normal level of OKness here. I am keeping up with the dishes and laundry and I would not be devestated if someone came by. (which they are not! They always only come by when things are trashed. Really, we have maintained a good level of neatless/cleanliness for over a week now, and no one has dropped by unexpectedly. We normally have people drop in all the time! We did have some expected company on Tuesday, and it was soooo nice not to have to spend all day cleaning. All I had to do was vacuum really quickly (which was quick because there was not stuff all over the floor) give the powder room a quick wipedown and fresh towels, and just keep up with the normal kitchen stuff during the day. It was so nice! I do still have a lot of work to do, but I am at that point where I do not know where to start now to make it better than it is, KWIM? __________________ A, Mother of Dancing Diva, 21 Boy Wonder 19, Mr. Cool 15, and Ninja 13 Sunshine, 11, and 8 year old Joy

06-03-2010, 01:25 PM	#332
Kiara.I Rose Garden Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: The Pacific South-West. You know, north of the Pacific North-West Posts: 12,922	Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread Glad everyone's doing well on their houses. My BO MIL will be here later today I knew she was coming. And we have cleaned. But....well...I'm part of this thread, what do you want? Besides, I've noticed a trend. The harder I work and the cleaner it is, the more critical comments. If I don't even try, she says nothing. I wonder if she thinks I'm a lost cause? Well, from her perspective, I guess I am.

06-03-2010, 02:24 PM	#333
Peridot Rose Garden I stand before you, DeFrocked!! Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: The Qontinuum Posts: 11,537	Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread yeah, I'm pretty sure MIL has given up both me and DH for lost causes. __________________ This is me- and them- ds 'Maximus'- 7.5 yrs, and ds 'Minimus'- 5 yrs. "A normal, imperfect, LUMPEN human being!!" Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. and yet, one day Love himself barged into the Temple with a bullwhip and declared enough was enough. I will testify to Love.

06-08-2010, 11:31 AM	#334
duckwithoneleg Rose Garden "Be just who you're made to be, Poppa is so mighty pleased with thee." -Danielsons Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: NC Posts: 6,091	Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread ACK! my friend from when i was four is coming... and so is our whole church (well, it's a little home church, but still) i'm more stressed about the friend i've had since i was 4 hahaha - call it "sibling" rivalry or something, but she is DEFINITELY a clean-ie and i want my house to be up to her par (or at least not leave her feeling terrorized) this is so lame, but in some goofy way i feel a need to show her that i am an adult (that's always how it's been though. since before we were adults.) i just want to leave as little room for me projecting criticism onto myself (and ... thinking it's coming from her when it's really coming from me?) as possible. if that makes any sense at all. so here's my list. homework (not house-related, but still needs to get done) dishes (heh. that is, every dish in our house is dirty. every pot, every pan.) laundry (same as dishes. it all* needs washed. why? you ask? yeah, last time i did 4 loads, didn't fold it in time, and the cat came along and peed on it. awesome.) set up our bedroom (we moved in a month or two ago and just finished painting that room) paint bookshelf in livingroom paint livingroom (gotta get that paint first tho) spraypaint end table and entertainment center clean off kitchen table (still boxes on it from the move ) prime/paint guest room (currently super high gloss mermaid nailpolish teal ) prime/paint upstairs (don't even get me started) organize art and music stuff upstairs move rubbermaid organizer to bathroom (and reorganize clothes) paint cabinets and trim in kitchen make counter-bar find bar-stools on craigslist? and a futon? clean out sugar glider's cages and puppy's crate * vacuum (but first we have to buy a vacuum ) wash bathroom mats sweep *mop anyone think this is do-able? before saturday? __________________ It is me and the hubbyman The toddler duck Welcoming all prayers for a sticky duckling this time At the end of time, I will kiss you all over your face.

06-08-2010, 12:50 PM	#335
Kiara.I Rose Garden Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: The Pacific South-West. You know, north of the Pacific North-West Posts: 12,922	Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread Wow. That's a big list. Are you working/out of the house for school as well? Or are you home most of the day? IF you're going to try to do it all (I'd skip painting, probably ) then is your DH helping? PLEASE tell me he's helping... Start the laundry right away. It can do itself while homework happens, for instance (or paint shopping). And definitely use your timer. Sometimes switching tasks feels more restful than slogging on with one big one until it's done. Oh, and that guest room--who's going to see it? Just focus on rooms they'll actually SEE. Guess what? You don't have to offer a tour! Say the tour can be next month after you're set up.

06-08-2010, 01:20 PM	#336
mamajane Rose Garden Join Date: Jan 2010 Posts: 3,675	Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread I agree, skip the painting, if possible. If it were me, I'd focus first on the must do's like dishes and hope to get those done. Sounds like a great motivator, though, and I bet you'll be happier with your house when it's over __________________ ISFP Ds 15 DDs 13, 10,and 7

06-08-2010, 02:49 PM	#337
duckwithoneleg Rose Garden "Be just who you're made to be, Poppa is so mighty pleased with thee." -Danielsons Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: NC Posts: 6,091	Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread yeah... i forgot to add, the friend is staying with her daughter for possibly 2 nights, and then just like one or two days after they leave, dh's brother's coming to stay for a week. the best friend will require a tour. because she lives a few hours away and will want to see all of our house and it's just her personality. everyone from church doesn't have to see our whole house, but we're a pretty tight knit bunch and i can definitely see them wanting to. (tho i'm still not as stressed about them hahaha, they know me and my messy ways... i've lived with my pastor and her sweet family in the past ) the painting will definitely come after the cleaning that is absolutely necessary to feel like the house is somewhat presentable, but... i really really really want it to be done too . the computer is in the middle of the room in the guest room currently and the puppy has to be watched SO carefully so he doesn't get to the computer chords (closed door most of the time, but... door handle's a little iffy... HAHAHAHA oh man, we're a mess!), and i really want a place to the overnight guests that are coming so they don't have to sleep in the livingroom (which, as a worst case scenario wouldn't be too awful, just... a preference thing) dh wants, i'd even say longs to help!!! but he is a full time student with 4 jobs and it's physically impossible for him to do much (this is why the dishes are in the state they are in. he felt so guilty that i'd been doing dishes every day and wanted to help out so badly that he asked me not to do them so he could give me a break. but then he didn't have time that day. or the next, or the next. and it grew into a monster that i didn't feel ready to tackle until learning that people are coming over i told him: and asked him not to tell me he wants to do something unless he has time right that second to do it. from now on. fortunately the only classes i'm taking right now are CNA training. which is a little intense in it's own way, but i only am gone for class mondays and wednesdays, and this week (thankfully) it's only 4 1/2 hours each of those days instead of 6 1/2. it's a little tricky with the puppy, but he's being so good about house training right now (especially today, for some reason ) i should be able to work straight through the rest of today, thursday, and friday. thanks for the encouragement, you guys! __________________ It is me and the hubbyman The toddler duck Welcoming all prayers for a sticky duckling this time At the end of time, I will kiss you all over your face. Last edited by duckwithoneleg; 06-08-2010 at 02:53 PM.

06-08-2010, 03:55 PM	#338
Kiara.I Rose Garden Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: The Pacific South-West. You know, north of the Pacific North-West Posts: 12,922	Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread Call in a couple of friends. Throw the laundry in, go get paint, come home, assign one friend to paint one room and one to paint another while you do dishes?

06-08-2010, 04:15 PM	#340
houseforjoy Rose Garden trying to live like olaf "this is the best day of my life!... and quite possibly the last!" Join Date: Jun 2010 Location: in the sunshine with my own personal flurry Posts: 9,563	Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread hello! can I join?? I have been messy my WHOLE life, I am such a pack rat-- I put emotions on to things and then have a hard time throwing them out i have been getting better and have been on a throwing out rampage trying to get rid of all this "stuff" the book that helps me the most is the house that cleans itself by mindy starns clark. she IS a messy person who found a system that worked for her family because it doesn't really cause her family to change but it makes the house adapt to the habits of the household creating solutions to messy areas. anyway i need all the support and encouragment i can get to keep some semblance of order in my house so i am joining your thread __________________ Amanda, ENFJ Mommy to my bounty: ds 13 years, dd 12 years, dd 9 years , dd 6 and ds 4 Psalm 13 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?How long will you hide your face from me? 2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?....because I am shaken. 5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love; my heart shall rejoice in your salvation. 6 I will sing to the Lord, because he has dealt bountifully with me.

06-10-2010, 01:49 PM	#343
duckwithoneleg Rose Garden "Be just who you're made to be, Poppa is so mighty pleased with thee." -Danielsons Join Date: Oct 2009 Location: NC Posts: 6,091	Re: Mamas that are "Messies" Support Thread did i already mention that i succeeded in coming down with a cold? the list is growing and dwindling at the same time. as usually happens with me. the more i do, the more i realize needs to be done. but i have completed the dishes! it took me a whole day. and of course at the end of all that we made dinner and i had to turn right around and do some of them again... such is life, yes? the laundry is a work in progress... our drier's being bejiggidy and it's taking like 4 rounds to dry things we made a countertop bar thingy!!! i'm REALLY proud of it! it looks so good!!! still have two rooms to paint. well, three actually but for today and tomorrow, two. still have SO MUCH organizing to do... i figured out why i'm so dead set on painting though! it's because the furniture and things can't go where they belong until the walls are finished. and until the big stuff can be in order, my brain stops working when i look at the little things that are everywhere. does that happen to any of you ever? __________________ It is me and the hubbyman The toddler duck Welcoming all prayers for a sticky duckling this time At the end of time, I will kiss you all over your face.

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