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11-05-2011, 09:56 AM | #31 |
Rose Garden
In my world everyone's a pony
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Where everyone eats rainbows and poops butterflies
Posts: 11,743
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I'm Megan and I'm a yeller.
Things I KNOW are triggers for me: Lack of sleep Trying to do things like cleaning or phone conversations and being interrupted Stress Too much time with punitive people especially yellers Tools I've found help: Using tv on days I know I'm likely to yell because of stress or lack of sleep. Going somewhere else where people will occupy and play with the girls. Things I really need help with: Forgiving myself Finding more tools Balancing our schedule so I don't get to the point I feel I'll never take care of family administration things then get overwhelmed when I try and they don't cooperate
__________________
I'm Megan (ENFP, DYT Type 1)
Married since 2007 to my Apple-geeky artist Don (INTJ) Mommy to Lydia (1/08) "Nature is really dirty" Charlotte (7/10) "me am not chawlotte me are batman" Introducing Nolan January 11, 2014 |
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11-05-2011, 10:06 AM | #32 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: ..
Posts: 10,737
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I think if I can just let go of my dream to get out of the house today, I'll yell less. I'm not going to get the things done I need to get done to get out of the house so discovering new messes isn't going to change that.
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DS (12), DD (10), DD2 (7) And my kids were going to behave perfectly all the time and if they didn't, they'd be Dobsoned, but I was going to Dobson so perfectly that they'd know not to slip up but once or twice because I was going to be sooooooo consistent and awesome and wise. |
11-05-2011, 10:15 AM | #33 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 1,150
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I am here too.
This time of year gets harder for me. Not only do I have the cold weather/winter blahs, and we become more cooped up indoors, but my windows are closed most of the time as well, so I know people can't hear me. I need this.
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ISFJ Married to B -2006 Mama to DD - 2001 Mama to DS - 2007 |
11-05-2011, 10:30 AM | #34 |
Administrator
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 16,668
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Too high of expectations is probably another trigger for me.
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CHARLA Married to Nick, 31 yrs Mom to Nathan and his wife Abby, and Hope Elizabeth, dancing for eternity with babies: Micah Noel, Grace Anna, Andrew David Save Save Save Save Save
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11-05-2011, 10:32 AM | #35 |
Rose Garden
In my world everyone's a pony
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Where everyone eats rainbows and poops butterflies
Posts: 11,743
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I'm still learning to keep in mind that my hyper verbal child is 3 not 8
__________________
I'm Megan (ENFP, DYT Type 1)
Married since 2007 to my Apple-geeky artist Don (INTJ) Mommy to Lydia (1/08) "Nature is really dirty" Charlotte (7/10) "me am not chawlotte me are batman" Introducing Nolan January 11, 2014 |
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11-05-2011, 10:43 AM | #36 | |
Rose Trellis
My sweet C turns 19 this year!!
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 2,360
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Quote:
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11-05-2011, 11:34 AM | #37 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 15,480
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Quote:
Jesus I've lost my patience/temper/I feel so bad right now. I need YOUR help. Please help me be patient and kind. In Jesus' name. Amen. I know it sounds silly and SUPER simple, but as an adult WE CAN control ourselves. I found myself doing this, watching from outside my body being like WHAT AM I DOING??? How can I stop and one day it just hit me. Just STOP....It's REALLY hard to do it, but the first time you do it, you'll feel SOOOO incredibly POWERFUL...like JESUS is right there holding your hand helping you step on the slippery rocks. It gets easier each time and pretty soon, you see yourself stopping before you start screaming. You'll make mistakes and I find yelling is an easy habit to slip back into when I'm tired, expecting too much, frustrated with something/someone else. I hope no one thinks I'm making light of their burden, this is just one of the BIGGIES that has worked for me in the past. I also have a big hand lettered sign on the refrigerator that says, "Don't FEED THE BEAST, take a deep breath" I will not be a tool used by Satan to hurt my children to the best of my ability.
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Swimming with Sharks Loving my DH for 19 years 'Pete' 8.5 yo dd 'Dragonfly' 6 yo ds the new kid is 3.5 yo ds always remembering the one I didn't get to hold Mary has been healed by the blood of the lamb
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11-05-2011, 11:36 AM | #38 |
Rose Garden
In my world everyone's a pony
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Where everyone eats rainbows and poops butterflies
Posts: 11,743
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I find that where I am with God directly effects my yelling
__________________
I'm Megan (ENFP, DYT Type 1)
Married since 2007 to my Apple-geeky artist Don (INTJ) Mommy to Lydia (1/08) "Nature is really dirty" Charlotte (7/10) "me am not chawlotte me are batman" Introducing Nolan January 11, 2014 |
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to Tandem mama For This Useful Post: | charla (11-05-2011), Cook (11-05-2011), Emerald Orchid (11-07-2011), GraceFirst (11-05-2011), jmom1984 (11-05-2011), justbreathe (11-10-2011), mamaeffie (11-10-2011), mollobe (11-05-2011) |
11-05-2011, 11:50 AM | #39 |
Rose Bush
You are loved.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Perth, Australia, I'm from New Zealand.
Posts: 390
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Thank you
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Mother of:4 grown children DD1 (born 88), DD2 (born 90), DD3 (born 92) and DS (born 94). DD has my first gandson (born 18).. |
11-05-2011, 12:00 PM | #40 |
Rose Garden
.thankful.
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: MN
Posts: 6,451
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
Wow, just started yesterday and already 3 pages long!
I definitely need this support. |
11-05-2011, 12:00 PM | #41 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 959
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I'll join in this group. Kids hate it when I yell - I do too. I never knew I had this problem until I had kids.
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11-05-2011, 12:02 PM | #42 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: ..
Posts: 10,737
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I just calmly said, "no, I don't want you mashing blueberries" after ds asked where the potato masher is. Granted, I haven't worked up the courage to look around the corner yet.
__________________
DS (12), DD (10), DD2 (7) And my kids were going to behave perfectly all the time and if they didn't, they'd be Dobsoned, but I was going to Dobson so perfectly that they'd know not to slip up but once or twice because I was going to be sooooooo consistent and awesome and wise. |
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11-05-2011, 12:05 PM | #44 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Jul 2005
Posts: 959
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I find when I have too much caffeine, lack of sleep, whining children, didn't have my quiet time first thing in the morning to be triggers. I really need alone time to recharge. When I don't get it first thing in the morning focus/spend time with Jesus, before kids get up, then I'm not so patient.
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11-05-2011, 12:06 PM | #45 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Central WA
Posts: 17,196
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Re: Yelling Support Thread
I think that's the big thing - I read once that said something like, "Isn't it amazing how we can be in the middle of a rant and UPS shows up at our door, or the phone rings, or our MIL stops by, and we can cut off our rant and be as sweet as can be?" UGH! Basically it was saying that we DO have the ability to *stop* - it's tough, yeah, but we *can.*
For me a lot of it is wanting to in the middle of me melting down. Not just how do I stop, but why don't I want to? It baffles me. Somehow I feel justified. Maybe, like, someone else mentioned, there's some sort of "high" that's hard to break (I have never considered that before). |
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