Gentle Christian Mothers Community
 
Random Quotes from Wise Mamas

~* Please help keep GCM free by using our
Amazon.com affiliate link. Thank you! *~


Go Back   Gentle Christian Mothers Community > Mothering Thru the Years > Nurturing our Children (AP & Multi-age Parenting Topics) *Public*
Forgot Password? Join Us!

Nurturing our Children (AP & Multi-age Parenting Topics) *Public* A public forum.
GCM Webpage: Attachment and Natural Parenting

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 04-17-2011, 09:09 PM   #1
mellymommy
Rose Garden
I support GCM!
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 6,944
mellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond repute
Default As you transition from one child to two...

Transitioning from one child to two quite possibly can be the most harried, traumatic, stressful, questioning time of your life. You are still a newbie to the phase of life of your firstborn child and now have a second fragile life to manage. I remember feeling like life was impossible and that someone needed to come take these children because I had no idea what was going on, who I was as an individual, or what needed to be done to keep everyone happy and moving forward in life.

This transition is magnified if you add #2 within 2.5-3 years as you haven't had enough time to really develop as a mother and you are trying to find your footing and figure out what happened to your sweet 1st born who is now a whirling dervish of tears and tantrums AND nourish the body and spirit of the new babe AND still keep the house from being showcased on some sort of hoarding biopic AND still be attractive and pleasing to your hubby and...wait...isn't there something I keep forgetting...oh pooping and showering!!! Really, this phase of life is stressful.

I want to encourage you, New Mamas of 2 Little Ones, that you WILL survive this phase and so will your children. Yes, it is inordinately difficult and unpleasant. Yes, you will field criticisms from various venues but please tune them out. Your oldest probably will be wild and unruly for a little while because he/she is struggling how to function in this new life, too. He/she is very young and many of his/her age-appropriate behavior will be magnified and feel very overwhelming. Stay calm, have grace, breathe deeply, cry if you need, vent if you need, but know that you and your firstborn will grow past this.

Have grace with yourself. Let things slide like dinner from scratch, cloth diapers (if you need the laundry and poop break), your ladies' Bible study, taking dinner to families at church, even big family gatherings (which can be a breeding ground of heartless, thoughtless criticism). Let your family grow at their own pace and not at the pace of what your mom/dad/pastor/friend/co-worker/etc. thinks is "normal" or best. Hide yourself away, if you need. Protect your heart and your family from outside stress. It is okay to disappear for a while.

You have our full support here. We are with you every step and are praying for God's blessings in your family and are excited to see God develop love, grace, and intimacy in your lives. Take heart!!!!
__________________
Melody

Married since 1999, rebuilding since June 2013

Hybrid Mommy to
ds1 (12/02, SPD)
dd (9/04)
ds2 (10/07, C22 disorder)
ds3 (5/08)
ds4 (1/09)
dd2 (9/11)


http://www.themelodyward.com
htty://www.joplinmamaresurrected.blogspot.com
mellymommy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 83 Users Say Thank You to mellymommy For This Useful Post:
a good book under a tree (12-21-2011), abh5e8 (04-17-2011), Aisling (03-22-2012), Amazement (12-21-2011), amyjoy (04-20-2011), ArmsOfLove (05-02-2011), bec28 (12-16-2011), blondie (12-16-2011), Blue Aurora (12-29-2011), Blue-EyedLady (04-17-2011), breezy88 (06-08-2012), Carini (05-17-2012), CCmomma (04-20-2011), Chaos Coordinator (01-01-2013), cro (04-17-2011), crunchymum (04-25-2011), curlymopmom (12-29-2011), deena (04-20-2011), Delyrics (02-22-2014), Domina (12-16-2011), DoulaClara (04-26-2011), dukeofhazzard (04-21-2011), Elyse221 (04-25-2011), everydaygrace (04-20-2011), FaithnPraise (06-07-2012), Fallin2Grace (08-02-2011), FiatLux (07-13-2013), GlobalMama (03-18-2012), GranolanRainbows (05-28-2011), greengirl19 (04-25-2011), hellomama (04-05-2012), Hopetobe (01-01-2013), inesperada (04-20-2011), Iveyrock (04-21-2011), joyinthejourney (07-19-2011), Keeper-of-Mr.Monks (01-01-2013), keeper4ever (04-17-2011), kwisie (12-21-2011), Kyasmom (05-25-2011), L-Boogie (04-25-2011), LilacPhoenix (12-21-2011), Llee (04-20-2011), Maggirayne (05-30-2011), magpiedpiper (04-21-2011), magpiemind (01-08-2013), Mamabre (04-01-2014), mamacanuck (04-17-2011), MegMarch (01-01-2013), melliethepooh (12-16-2011), MercyInDisguise (05-03-2012), mom2boys (04-20-2011), Mommainrwanda (04-18-2011), mommychem (05-25-2011), nombats (06-13-2011), OneLove (04-20-2011), PrincessAnika (05-30-2011), princesspoet (06-06-2012), prov31craftymom (05-25-2011), raining_kisses (01-01-2013), reb (02-22-2014), Rugayatu (04-22-2013), SaraE (02-14-2012), Stiina (05-30-2011), StoryOfGrace (02-22-2014), StrangeTraveller (05-30-2011), TenderLovingWillow (04-27-2011), thrillofhope (05-25-2011), tofufoofoo (04-20-2011), Turtle Herder (02-25-2013), WingsOfTheMorning (12-21-2011)
Old 04-20-2011, 01:30 PM   #2
mom2boys
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 8,811
mom2boys has a reputation beyond reputemom2boys has a reputation beyond reputemom2boys has a reputation beyond reputemom2boys has a reputation beyond reputemom2boys has a reputation beyond reputemom2boys has a reputation beyond reputemom2boys has a reputation beyond reputemom2boys has a reputation beyond reputemom2boys has a reputation beyond reputemom2boys has a reputation beyond reputemom2boys has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: As you transition from one child to two...

for such a wonderful bit of advice and encouragement!
__________________
Darci
wife to Lester and gentle homeschooling mama to 6 boys:
Jake (20) Jesse (19) Jamie (16)
Ben (14) Greyson (11) Gabe (8)
INFP and DYT 3/2

Last edited by mom2boys; 04-20-2011 at 01:31 PM. Reason: fix smilies
mom2boys is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2011, 01:37 PM   #3
YolandaWELS
Rose Bush
 
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Posts: 428
YolandaWELS is a glorious beacon of lightYolandaWELS is a glorious beacon of lightYolandaWELS is a glorious beacon of lightYolandaWELS is a glorious beacon of lightYolandaWELS is a glorious beacon of lightYolandaWELS is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: As you transition from one child to two...

Awww! I love this. Thank you so much for the encouragement and support!! I hate feeling like I want to throw myself out of the kitchen windows sometimes.

Thank you


I love disappearing from people ......
__________________
*~*~ Yolanda*~*~
Blessed with:
My husband - Married November 2004
Our Snugglebug - 5yrs old
Our Gumdrop - born October 8th, 2010
YolandaWELS is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2011, 01:38 PM   #4
NewLeaf
Deactivated
I support GCM!
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Second star to the right, straight on til morning.
Posts: 6,571
NewLeaf has a reputation beyond reputeNewLeaf has a reputation beyond reputeNewLeaf has a reputation beyond reputeNewLeaf has a reputation beyond reputeNewLeaf has a reputation beyond reputeNewLeaf has a reputation beyond reputeNewLeaf has a reputation beyond reputeNewLeaf has a reputation beyond reputeNewLeaf has a reputation beyond reputeNewLeaf has a reputation beyond reputeNewLeaf has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: As you transition from one child to two...

I wish I could have read this 2 years ago!

I thought the transition was going to KILL ME. Truly. Add a baby that did not sleep and it felt like my life was over.

At four weeks pp someone at a birthday party asked how things were going and the words "It's pure hell." flew out of my mouth before I knew what happened.

But it DID get better! And the transition to three was a piece of .
NewLeaf is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 10 Users Say Thank You to NewLeaf For This Useful Post:
a good book under a tree (12-21-2011), bec28 (12-16-2011), Chaos Coordinator (01-01-2013), joyinthejourney (07-19-2011), L-Boogie (04-25-2011), Maggirayne (05-30-2011), melliethepooh (12-16-2011), Stiina (05-30-2011), StrangeTraveller (05-30-2011), tofufoofoo (04-20-2011)
Old 04-20-2011, 01:38 PM   #5
tofufoofoo
Rose Trellis
 
...and you shall nurse, you shall be carried upon her hip, and bounced upon her knees...
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 1,712
tofufoofoo is a splendid one to beholdtofufoofoo is a splendid one to beholdtofufoofoo is a splendid one to beholdtofufoofoo is a splendid one to beholdtofufoofoo is a splendid one to beholdtofufoofoo is a splendid one to beholdtofufoofoo is a splendid one to beholdtofufoofoo is a splendid one to beholdtofufoofoo is a splendid one to behold
Default Re: As you transition from one child to two...

so much for that... I needed to read that right now so badly! Could I post that on my facebook wall by any chance? There are members of my family that totally need to read it!
__________________
alison wife to papa bear since 12-05
mama to my
tubby little cubby 4-19-09
and my snuggly
tiny teddy 4-2-11

now expecting a
baby bear 7-15-13

tofufoofoo is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 04-20-2011, 02:19 PM   #6
Lady Grey
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,620
Lady Grey has a reputation beyond reputeLady Grey has a reputation beyond reputeLady Grey has a reputation beyond reputeLady Grey has a reputation beyond reputeLady Grey has a reputation beyond reputeLady Grey has a reputation beyond reputeLady Grey has a reputation beyond reputeLady Grey has a reputation beyond reputeLady Grey has a reputation beyond reputeLady Grey has a reputation beyond reputeLady Grey has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: As you transition from one child to two...

It is interesting to hear what different mothers say is the hardest transition. Mine has definitely been going from 2-3 and I would even say that 1-2 was easier than 0-1 for us.

I think it definitely depends on the spacing, personality of mama, personality and need level of the older child(ren), personality/need level of the new baby, pregnancy/birth/postpartum health, postpartum support, health of marriage, weather and ease of getting outdoors, etc.....

I do and agree with your words of encouragement.
__________________
Sara
Lady Grey is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Lady Grey For This Useful Post:
Can'tTurnLeft (04-20-2011), Chaos Coordinator (01-01-2013), curlymopmom (12-29-2011), Maggirayne (05-30-2011), NewLeaf (04-20-2011), Stiina (05-30-2011)
Old 04-20-2011, 03:07 PM   #7
mellymommy
Rose Garden
I support GCM!
 
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 6,944
mellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond reputemellymommy has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: As you transition from one child to two...

Quote:
Originally Posted by tofufoofoo View Post
so much for that... I needed to read that right now so badly! Could i post that on my facebook wall by any chance? There are members of my family that totally need to read it!
absolutely!!!
__________________
Melody

Married since 1999, rebuilding since June 2013

Hybrid Mommy to
ds1 (12/02, SPD)
dd (9/04)
ds2 (10/07, C22 disorder)
ds3 (5/08)
ds4 (1/09)
dd2 (9/11)


http://www.themelodyward.com
htty://www.joplinmamaresurrected.blogspot.com
mellymommy is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to mellymommy For This Useful Post:
Dovenoir (06-06-2011), tofufoofoo (04-22-2011)
Old 04-20-2011, 10:03 PM   #8
ilovewest
Climbing Rose
 
*Pretend you're reading something really witty here.*
 
Join Date: Mar 2011
Location: Alaska
Posts: 1,003
ilovewest has a reputation beyond reputeilovewest has a reputation beyond reputeilovewest has a reputation beyond reputeilovewest has a reputation beyond reputeilovewest has a reputation beyond reputeilovewest has a reputation beyond reputeilovewest has a reputation beyond reputeilovewest has a reputation beyond reputeilovewest has a reputation beyond reputeilovewest has a reputation beyond reputeilovewest has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: As you transition from one child to two...

I think I'm going to print this out and tape copies to every flat surface in my house when #2 gets here..... Bless you for posting this. Thank you!
ilovewest is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to ilovewest For This Useful Post:
Dovenoir (06-06-2011)
Old 04-21-2011, 05:21 AM   #9
CCmomma
Rose Blossom
 
 
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 240
CCmomma is a glorious beacon of lightCCmomma is a glorious beacon of lightCCmomma is a glorious beacon of lightCCmomma is a glorious beacon of lightCCmomma is a glorious beacon of lightCCmomma is a glorious beacon of light
Default Re: As you transition from one child to two...

I love this!!! It was just what I needed to read after getting a little less patient with my DD this past week! Thank you.
__________________
Wife to Jim-10 years!!!
Momma to Caroline 4 years old
Baby Boy Cooper 1 year old
CCmomma is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-30-2011, 08:52 PM   #10
Maggirayne
Rose Garden
 
Standing for gentleness and honesty
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Looking for Hope
Posts: 12,027
Maggirayne has a reputation beyond reputeMaggirayne has a reputation beyond reputeMaggirayne has a reputation beyond reputeMaggirayne has a reputation beyond reputeMaggirayne has a reputation beyond reputeMaggirayne has a reputation beyond reputeMaggirayne has a reputation beyond reputeMaggirayne has a reputation beyond reputeMaggirayne has a reputation beyond reputeMaggirayne has a reputation beyond reputeMaggirayne has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: As you transition from one child to two...

I needed this two years ago.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Elyse221 View Post
Thanks for this! I'll have to bookmark this for when #2 is in the works!
__________________
Maggi, Tw irler of the Umbrella of Silliness
Mama to two sweet littles and 3 angels
12/4/11 10/7/13 12/8/13
Grace is not a destination, it's a journey.
I first learned to show grace to my child that was not shown to me, then I learned to accept it for myself, and only recently have I been able to have grace for others more.
~Sweetpeasmommy
A
Maggirayne is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2011, 07:00 AM   #11
bec28
Rose Garden
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 4,580
bec28 has a reputation beyond reputebec28 has a reputation beyond reputebec28 has a reputation beyond reputebec28 has a reputation beyond reputebec28 has a reputation beyond reputebec28 has a reputation beyond reputebec28 has a reputation beyond reputebec28 has a reputation beyond reputebec28 has a reputation beyond reputebec28 has a reputation beyond reputebec28 has a reputation beyond repute
Default Re: As you transition from one child to two...

Thanks for this thread I know it's a little old, but I really needed to read it today. We are preparing for #2 to arrive, and I'm worried about ds and how he'll do. It's good to read such encouraging words. I think I'll have to print this out when new baby arrives so I can read it whenever I need to
__________________
Wife to first date since 2005
Mama to A (ds) , Nov 2009
Sweet baby C (dd) born Feb 2012
staying at home and loving it! learning to be a more grace filled, gentle mama
bec28 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-16-2011, 07:33 AM   #12
JuicyMoosey
Seedling Rose
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: London England
Posts: 36
JuicyMoosey is on a distinguished road
Default Re: As you transition from one child to two...

Quote:
Originally Posted by bec28 View Post
Thanks for this thread I know it's a little old, but I really needed to read it today. We are preparing for #2 to arrive, and I'm worried about ds and how he'll do. It's good to read such encouraging words. I think I'll have to print this out when new baby arrives so I can read it whenever I need to
And thank you for bumping it up! I am four weeks into the transition from 1 to 2, and I really, really appreciated reading the OP!

I think what I would like most is my evenings back, of just dh and I while children are sleeping. But, as you all have said, it's just another season of many. Thank you for the encouragement.
__________________
Me:33 married for 7 years to dh, 34. Dd1: 4 and dd2 born 11/15/11.
JuicyMoosey is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to JuicyMoosey For This Useful Post:
bec28 (12-16-2011)
Old 12-20-2011, 08:12 PM   #13
Q&D mama
Seedling Rose
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 10
Q&D mama is on a distinguished road
Default Re: As you transition from one child to two...

Thank you so much for this thread, moving from 1-2 kids was the most stressful thing I have ever done in my life. It's encouraging to read that I am not the only mother who has felt like this.

We are now moving on to having number 3, hopefully it will be a breeze.
Q&D mama is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-21-2011, 11:12 AM   #14
Amazement
Rose Blossom
 
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 267
Amazement is just really niceAmazement is just really niceAmazement is just really niceAmazement is just really niceAmazement is just really nice
Default Re: As you transition from one child to two...

Sitting here with tears in my eyes having just found this thread at the perfect time-- after a rough night with Dd2, who is just three weeks old. Thank you for the OP and for the bump.
Amazement is offline   Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Amazement For This Useful Post:
bec28 (12-21-2011)
The Following 2 Users Say they are praying for Amazement:
bec28 (12-21-2011), PrincessAnika (12-21-2011)
Old 12-29-2011, 09:50 AM   #15
bclemons84
Guest
 
 
Posts: n/a
Default Re: As you transition from one child to two...

My husband wants to try for baby#2 in May when DD1 will only be 18 months old. I'm slightly freaked out! Not sure if I'm ready for a 2nd baby when I'm just getting used to DD1... My husband said he wants to have our kids close together so that he can get a vasectomy. ugh...
  Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 09:02 PM.


A variety of opinions and ideas are shared on GCM. Personal experiences, suggestions, and tips found here are in no way intended to substitute for medical counsel from a healthcare professional. Always use your own good judgement and seek professional advice when in doubt about a health concern.

Amazon.com affiliate link

Copyright 1997-2017 by Gentle Christian Mothers™
An alternative-minded, evangelical Christian community supporting attachment parenting and natural living.

Do not post content elsewhere.
http://www.gentlechristianmothers.com/community/

Some smilies created and copyrighted by Mazeguy.
Some smilies and avatars created and copyrighted by flowermama and children -- do not use elsewhere.

Soli Deo Gloria
To God only wise, be glory through Jesus Christ for ever. Amen. ~ Romans 16:27 (KJV)

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.3
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.

X vBulletin 3.8.3 Debug Information
  • Page Generation 0.12585 seconds
  • Memory Usage 8,753KB
  • Queries Executed 14 (?)
More Information
Template Usage:
  • (1)SHOWTHREAD
  • (1)ad_footer_end
  • (1)ad_footer_start
  • (1)ad_header_end
  • (1)ad_header_logo
  • (1)ad_navbar_below
  • (1)ad_showthread_beforeqr
  • (3)bbcode_quote
  • (1)cyb_flashimagebanners
  • (1)footer
  • (1)forumjump
  • (1)forumrules
  • (1)gobutton
  • (1)header
  • (1)headinclude
  • (1)navbar
  • (3)navbar_link
  • (60)option
  • (1)pagenav
  • (1)pagenav_curpage
  • (1)pagenav_pagelink
  • (15)post_groan_box
  • (2)post_groan_box_bit
  • (1)post_groan_javascript
  • (1)post_groan_navbar_search
  • (1)post_groan_postbit_legacy
  • (15)post_thanks_box
  • (91)post_thanks_box_bit
  • (1)post_thanks_javascript
  • (1)post_thanks_navbar_search
  • (7)post_thanks_postbit_legacy
  • (15)postbit_legacy
  • (14)postbit_onlinestatus
  • (116)postbit_reputation
  • (15)postbit_wrapper
  • (4)showthread_bookmarksite
  • (1)showthread_list
  • (1)smqre_editor_button
  • (1)spacer_close
  • (1)spacer_open
  • (1)tagbit_wrapper 

Phrase Groups Available:
  • global
  • inlinemod
  • postbit
  • posting
  • reputationlevel
  • showthread
Included Files:
  • ./showthread.php
  • ./global.php
  • ./includes/init.php
  • ./includes/class_core.php
  • ./includes/config.php
  • ./includes/functions.php
  • ./includes/class_hook.php
  • ./includes/functions_notice.php
  • ./mobiquo/smartbanner.php
  • ./mobiquo/include/classTTConnection.php
  • ./mobiquo/smartbanner/head.inc.php
  • ./includes/functions_bigthree.php
  • ./includes/class_postbit.php
  • ./includes/class_bbcode.php
  • ./includes/functions_reputation.php
  • ./includes/adminfunctions_template.php
  • ./includes/functions_misc.php
  • ./includes/functions_threadedmode.php
  • ./includes/functions_post_thanks.php
  • ./includes/functions_post_groan.php 

Hooks Called:
  • init_startup
  • cache_permissions
  • fetch_threadinfo_query
  • fetch_threadinfo
  • fetch_foruminfo
  • style_fetch
  • cache_templates
  • global_start
  • parse_templates
  • fetch_musername
  • notices_check_start
  • global_setup_complete
  • showthread_start
  • template_groups
  • template_safe_functions
  • template_compile
  • showthread_getinfo
  • forumjump
  • showthread_post_start
  • showthread_query_postids_threaded
  • showthread_threaded_construct_link
  • pagenav_page
  • pagenav_complete
  • showthread_query
  • bbcode_fetch_tags
  • bbcode_create
  • showthread_postbit_create
  • postbit_factory
  • postbit_display_start
  • post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_start
  • post_thanks_function_post_thanks_off_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_end
  • post_thanks_function_thanked_already_start
  • post_thanks_function_thanked_already_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_bit_start
  • post_thanks_function_show_thanks_date_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_thanks_bit_end
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_post_thanks_template_start
  • post_thanks_function_fetch_post_thanks_template_end
  • post_groan_function_post_groan_off_start
  • post_groan_function_post_groan_off_end
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groans_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groans_end
  • post_groan_function_groaned_already_start
  • post_groan_function_groaned_already_end
  • reputation_image
  • bbcode_parse_start
  • postbit_imicons
  • bbcode_parse_complete_precache
  • bbcode_parse_complete
  • postbit_display_complete
  • error_fetch
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groan_bit_start
  • post_groan_function_show_groan_date_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_groan_bit_end
  • post_groan_function_fetch_post_groan_template_start
  • post_groan_function_fetch_post_groan_template_end
  • tag_fetchbit_complete
  • forumrules
  • showthread_bookmarkbit
  • navbits
  • navbits_complete
  • showthread_complete