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Old 08-06-2006, 08:58 PM   #18
JoyfulMom
Rose Bouquet
 
 
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 550
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Default Re: Permissiveness or GBD?

Quote:
Originally Posted by ArmsOfLove
d it speaks to an entirely different paradigm from the one that says you're either punitive or permissive. It rejects the extremes of both while providing a middle ground that is both kind and firm.

May be a stupid question, but coming from someone that hasn't heard of GBD and is new to this forum...can you be both punitive and permissive as a parent? I ask this b/c, well, I've struggled with being permissive with our children, and also with punitive punishment....

This may or may not belong in this forum...but my issue at the moment is with our 13 y/o dd. She has always had her own room, only had to share with a little sister for a very short period of time when they were much younger. We live in a small home, there are 7 of us, one bathroom, and three small bedrooms. This is sad and I hate to admit it but....ds sleeps in the living room, he is four, has no space of his own. DD, 19 mos, sleeps in the room with me and dh (cosleeping). The thing is, it's getting to the point that the younger ones need their own space and a place that they can go and play and/or rest. DD wants to share with the 4 y/o boy and let us keep baby in the room with us, so that she doesn't have to share with two younger sisters. (8 & 10 who share a room together already) Because, heaven forbid, her privacy be violated by the other two, they do not get along, which is one of my reasons for making them share in the first place. They need to learn how to get along and love one another and plus, well, this is terrible, but I want to prove to dd that life isn't always going to happen the way she wants it to and she just has to deal with it. She keeps making deals, or trying to, to make me see that she will do whatever it takes to keep from sharing with her two younger sisters. Part of me says let her keep her room because I remember how I wanted to be alone a lot at her age. The other part of me says, she just needs to suck it up, put on her big girl panties and deal with it b/c as of right now, she is the only person in our home that is happy with the living arrangements.

Tell me, what would you do? I'm new to having a teenager and it's driving me insane! It's making me feel like a failure b/c this territory is completely new to me and I'm lost!!! I'm glad I found this board b/c GBD has really caught my interest and I'd like to read as much as I can, unfortunately, I haven't much time for reading these days. I've been trying to post here since I joined a few weeks ago. Sorry for rambling, but I hope someone has some advice for me! Thanks!
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Amy, wife to awesome hubby since 1991.
~A Joyful Mom to six blessings~
Shelby~21
Breanna~18
Madison~16
Christopher~12
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