Negative Perception of People

I will admit that I struggle with this. I have a difficult time separating a person's quality of character from their beliefs on certain topics, and sometimes I wonder if I'm normal or just an overly judgmental shrew.

Case in point - I had been looking over this really awesome, crunchy woman's website. She has some really neat, healthy, and fun recipes on her site for people who have various food sensitivities. One of the tabs on her page was for parenting advice. Thinking to myself, hey,this lady is pretty crunchy. I'll bet she has a totally gentle approach to parenting! Getting all excited, thinking I'd come across another Christian momma gently raising her children, imagine my surprise when her entire parenting section was like a giant advertisement for the Ezzos' parenting books.

She went on and on about how BW saved her life, because she thought motherhood was going to be so great, until she got no sleep during the first week, and how BW solved that problem. Later in her articles she endorses GKGW and encourages people to find a church that teaches the classes. Am I crazy in assuming that if someone is crunchy enough to eat kale chips and vegan ice cream that it wouldn't make sense they endorse the Ezzos? Oh Lord! What if I'm a bigger hippie than the rest of the hippies?!

I just wonder if this is a classic case of throwing the baby out with the bath water. It's like my perception of this lady is tainted now and I cannot bring myself to enjoy reading the other really good information on her website. Does that sound strange?

[Elyse221]

I struggle with this with people I know in real life, relatives and such. Parenting can be so polarizing. Even if in my head I can say, 'Yeah, it's their kid, they can parent how they choose,' I can't make myself not care.

[racheepoo]

I think it's really easy to get caught up in the 'checklist issues' and forget that there are people behind them, who ostensibly are making the best choices for their families with what they know to be true. It doesn't mean I can't be disappointed or that I have to be bff's with people who parent much differently...but it's simplistic to think that one part of a person is the sum of that person. We're all flawed and nuanced and when people share some of our philosophies, it doesn't mean that they are just like us. The people I've disagreed with most have made me think the most and hone my own philosophies and beliefs. The world would be a terrible and boring place if everyone was just like us.

[Elyse221]

Originally Posted by racheepoo

I think it's really easy to get caught up in the 'checklist issues' and forget that there are people behind them, who ostensibly are making the best choices for their families with what they know to be true. It doesn't mean I can't be disappointed or that I have to be bff's with people who parent much differently...but it's simplistic to think that one part of a person is the sum of that person. We're all flawed and nuanced and when people share some of our philosophies, it doesn't mean that they are just like us. The people I've disagreed with most have made me think the most and hone my own philosophies and beliefs. The world would be a terrible and boring place if everyone was just like us.

Very true. But when it comes to Ezzo, I've seen people who use it "sensibly" (if you can call it that) and I've seen people not feed a hungry newborn because it wasn't 2.5 hours and the same baby end up in the hospital for testing because of lack of weight gain, quite probably FTT. I don't want them to be just like me...I just want them to feed their poor baby.

ETA: Maybe I'm a little raw regarding Ezzo right now...

[racheepoo]

I'm not saying you have to agree or like it just that it isn't healthy to view a person as bad or unworthy because of their choices.

[Hermana Linda]

The thing is that AP is really not related to parenting choices. The Pearls recommend EC and natural living. They even sell herbs. Their followers tend to breastfeed and look very crunchy. In fact, if you see a crunchy family and the mom seems impossibly gentle and her children obey her softly spoken commands immediately and sweetly, you are almost certainly seeing Pearl followers.

I have not known Ezzo followers to be so crunchy, but it certainly is not unheard of.

I can totally understand why that knowledge would leave a bad taste in your mouth and cause you to be suspect of everything else she says. I tend to feel the same way. If she believes that, what else might she believe? I would think it safe to take cooking advice from her. But I understand why you might want to just delete her bookmark instead.

---------- Post added at 03:05 PM ---------- Previous post was at 03:02 PM ----------

I just remembered that once I joined an AP Christian group and was informed it was against the groups SOB to argue against spanking. I asked how they could reconcile AP with spanking and was edited and chided. Not the place for me.

[Kiara.I]

This is something I struggle with too.

Like, if a theologian is totally off the rails in one aspect, why would I read her (or his) other books? And yet, there are some theologians that are *fabulous* in one (or more) areas, despite their complete lunacy on some tangent.

My pastor is really challenging me to move beyond the "why bother" mindset because it really does cut me off from some amazing books. It's just a question of having a well-calibrated hooey-meter that can flag the scary stuff. And that takes practice too, especially in a new field.

Hence why we're meant to live/learn/work mostly in community, probably, so that I can say, "Hey, what do you think about this?" and get feedback from others.

[Hermana Linda]

Originally Posted by Kiara.I

It's just a question of having a well-calibrated hooey-meter that can flag the scary stuff. And that takes practice too, especially in a new field.

An important point.