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Old 03-25-2018, 06:07 PM   #16
kiloyd
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Default Re: Help with GBD with older children and large family.

So glad you found us! And what a great post! I needed the reminders.

I've been here for about 14 years and I'm still not good at all of it, but have made gradual baby steps. Several years ago when my parents were visiting and I saw how my mom was with my kids, (not a lot of patience, not understanding big feelings of little ones), I realized how far I had come. Still quite a ways to go.

I liked "Siblings Without Rivalry" too but I suggest you should start with "How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk".

Stick around and read here and read some books and you'll start making baby steps in the gentle direction.

(I'm also a yeller)
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Old 03-29-2018, 11:20 AM   #17
Soliloquy
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Default Re: Help with GBD with older children and large family.

I'm wondering how you're doing? Are you able to find time, every day, to enjoy your children? I need to make that a priority for myself. I can get caught up in "what needs to get done" and forget to just enjoy them.
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Old 04-20-2018, 08:41 PM   #18
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Default Re: Help with GBD with older children and large family.

I know it's been quite some time since I posted this but I did want to thank you all for your wonderful responses. They were so helpful. I had come on a few times and written a long reply, but never finished it life has been so busy. Things have settled down a lot and I don't feel so much like I can't make it through! The older 2 have made huge strides, I'd read so many posts here that have helped immensely. I have the siblings without rivalry in my cart but haven't purchased yet. I will look at how to speak so kids will listen too.

My 10 year old and I had a really nice talk. She is at that difficult age where she feels both line she does and doesn't belong with the younger kids. She is moving into the grown up world. That seems to have helped. We started doing bible study together without anyone else. And I have clearly seen the Lord working on her heart. She really is a wonderful girl.

My son's been better since I can get him outside more with the weather improving. Things seem to be improving drastically. I went a whole day without even reacting strongly out of frustration one day last week! That's huge for me I know it was because I was relying on the Lord. It hasn't been perfect, there's been a few rough days this week, but I do feel my self control improving. And instead if feeling like a victim of my children's naughtiness, I seem to be making a shift to problem solving, and well thought out dicipline. We still have a long way, but I'm feeling so much more hopeful!



"Are you able to find time, every day, to enjoy your children? I need to make that a priority for myself. I can get caught up in "what needs to get done" and forget to just enjoy them."


This is such a big issue! I have noticed that this is not happening as much as it shoul. I need to do it more. I will make this a priority at least once a day just enjoy my children. Thank you for the reminder. I do get wound up in the what needs to get done, and even look at the regular needs of my poor children as just another task that has to get done .
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Old 04-20-2018, 08:47 PM   #19
charla
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Default Re: Help with GBD with older children and large family.

That's a great update!
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Old 04-24-2018, 07:17 PM   #20
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Default Re: Help with GBD with older children and large family.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Findingjoy View Post
I have the siblings without rivalry in my cart but haven't purchased yet. I will look at how to speak so kids will listen too.
There's a really good chance that at least one is at your public library. They are parenting classics.

Quote:


"Are you able to find time, every day, to enjoy your children? I need to make that a priority for myself. I can get caught up in "what needs to get done" and forget to just enjoy them."


This is such a big issue! I have noticed that this is not happening as much as it shoul. I need to do it more. I will make this a priority at least once a day just enjoy my children. Thank you for the reminder. I do get wound up in the what needs to get done, and even look at the regular needs of my poor children as just another task that has to get done .
Me too! I think this is more common than not. Moms are super busy people with a to-do list that never, ever ends.
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"So live in Christ Jesus the Lord in the same way as you received him. Be rooted and built up in him, be established in faith, and overflow with thanksgiving just as you were taught." Col 2:6-7

Moderator in Theological & Doctrinal Issues, Drawing Closer, Bible Study, & Educating Our Children

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Old 04-27-2018, 06:48 AM   #21
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Default Re: Help with GBD with older children and large family.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Soliloquy View Post
I'm wondering how you're doing? Are you able to find time, every day, to enjoy your children? I need to make that a priority for myself. I can get caught up in "what needs to get done" and forget to just enjoy them.
Me too.
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Old 04-28-2018, 08:40 AM   #22
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Default Re: Help with GBD with older children and large family.

Sometimes just 5 or 10 minutes a day alone with each child gives them that attention they need to feel better. The Bible study is great because it is a special thing you do with her and the Lord. It can be an invitaion to come talk with you in the kitchen while you are getting a meal on. Or - tell me about that Lego project you are working on!
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