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Old 01-11-2012, 12:18 PM   #346
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Rough day today.
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Old 01-11-2012, 12:41 PM   #347
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I'm having some rough days myself.
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Old 01-11-2012, 01:18 PM   #348
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

And now I just got a disturbing phone call. Awesome. What a craptastic day.
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Old 01-11-2012, 01:42 PM   #349
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Back to school, let down from Christmas, and terrible weather for getting outside is always SUPER hard. add in any traveling, sickness, and other life ickiness and you've got a recipe of everyone's patience and tolerance being VERY thin. Lots of and and peace.
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Old 01-11-2012, 02:20 PM   #350
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I heard the girls start to fight over a toy in the next room this morning. Usually this means that the 2yo snatches something from the 4yo, and then the 4yo starts screaming for her to give it back, and then the monkey-see-monkey-do 2yo screams back. And they are girls, they have the high pitched scream thing perfected in such a way that makes your ears ring. Sometimes I join in with my own yelling (which is why I'm here of course!), but I have been trying so hard to pause long enough to collect myself first, and then try to teach some conflict resolution. So today, what I heard from the other room was my 4yo dd asking her sister calming to give it back, and when she didn't, she called, "Mommy... Can you come here? I need help fixing a problem!" I almost cried, tbh, I was so happy that she remembered something I taught

Just thought I would share that as a success story to encourage us all. Great things happen when you curb the yelling and keep your cool.

ETA The first thing I thought was how this would not have been possible if my parenting style was to punish them for fighting. The teachable moment would have been lost, and they would have learned nothing. I am so thankful for GCM.
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Old 01-16-2012, 05:33 AM   #351
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I didn't read through all the pages. I thought this was for dealing with children who yell at first. How do you deal with that? I'm not a loud person. I only yell when I've completely lost it. Maybe once or twice a year since having children. My husband is loud. His 13yo is loud. My kids are becoming loud. It makes my ears bleed and is why I yell (just to be heard over them). Mostly, I yell inside or through my teeth and clenched fists. As much as I try to do gentle tactics, it's all out the window (for kids) on weekends. Help?
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Old 01-16-2012, 11:11 AM   #352
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I read an Anger management post from a Christian blog that was really helpful this morning. (http://womenlivingwell.org/2012/01/w...er-management/)

I need to sit and think about the things that are REALLY stressing me, and where my anger is coming from.
Will contemplate that in my quiet time today (if I can find some, LOL)

This mama is really committed to stopping yelling. Will check back in soon. I'm sure I'll need a hug soon.
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Old 01-16-2012, 02:49 PM   #353
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I can be a yeller too I grew up with yelling and hitting. My dad was an alcoholic and it really affected our home life. It was HORRID!!!! My sister has big issues from it, and I basically blocked out most of the bad, but I know that is where my yelling comes from. I always apologize but I feel like it has become a shallow sorry....kwim?!?!?
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Old 01-17-2012, 09:19 PM   #354
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Is there a "Mother of the Year" thread

I screamed at DS this morning. No, not yell. I SCREAMED. I am so incredibly upset at myself. I must have scared the daylights out of him. I am so, so, so ashamed and don't know what I can do to remedy it. To apologize to him, to get myself to stop feeling so ragey.

DH has been an anxious mess lately, DS has been basically one emotional breakdown after another and I feel like I can't express any emotion because I'm too busy dealing with them. DS, I don't mind. He's my child. DH? I frankly want him to suck it the heck up

Ugh. Seriously in tears.
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Old 01-18-2012, 06:34 AM   #355
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

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Originally Posted by GlobalMama View Post
Is there a "Mother of the Year" thread

I screamed at DS this morning. No, not yell. I SCREAMED. I am so incredibly upset at myself. I must have scared the daylights out of him. I am so, so, so ashamed and don't know what I can do to remedy it. To apologize to him, to get myself to stop feeling so ragey.

DH has been an anxious mess lately, DS has been basically one emotional breakdown after another and I feel like I can't express any emotion because I'm too busy dealing with them. DS, I don't mind. He's my child. DH? I frankly want him to suck it the heck up

Ugh. Seriously in tears.
I get overwhelmed with guilt too when I "scream". It's a process to work on, and remember that grace is for mamas too.
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Old 01-18-2012, 11:11 AM   #356
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

I definately struggle with anger and I think that is why I scream at my kids. Does anyone have any good books or resources for dealing with anger?
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Old 01-18-2012, 11:39 AM   #357
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

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Originally Posted by AugustMama View Post
I definately struggle with anger and I think that is why I scream at my kids. Does anyone have any good books or resources for dealing with anger?
I've found the book Good and Angry to be helpful.
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Old 01-18-2012, 12:47 PM   #358
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Quote:
Originally Posted by AugustMama View Post
I definately struggle with anger and I think that is why I scream at my kids. Does anyone have any good books or resources for dealing with anger?
ScreamFree Parenting was a very good read for me, especially when my oldest was 3.
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Old 01-18-2012, 01:00 PM   #359
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

Ahhh I haven't screamed in a long time but I just yelled at DS. It's been a hard week, first he was sick, now DD is sick (wakes up every 20 minutes) and I'm feeling the sinus pressure now too. DH is gone as always. DS threw a huge tantrum over not wanting to do quiet time/naptime, which is not negotiable in this house. He needs it, she needs it, I need it. No discussion. There will not be no quiet time, end of story. He had a great lunch and was even allowed a piece of chocolate. Instead he started screamfest and all things failed so I ended up yelling at him, which finally made him quiet. I don't feel good about it, and I hate that it appears to be the only thing to make him listen. As mentioned in the other thread, DS has no issues (and I am sure of that - not only medically speaking but he also behaves like a perfect angel with everyone but me, but I'm the one person he wants to be with). The stress is tearing at me, and I feel like i can't handle a toddler anymore - I have no patience, I'm not overly kind, I'm very sensitive and I'm starting to feel really angry. We have no family close and there is nobody who can give me a break - the few friends we have here have kids themselves and I can't pay back by watching other's kids because I don't know how to, and I'm not patient, I'm not the type of person who does well with other people's kids. I feel clueless and very uncomfy... I used to be able to manage DS, and he is mostly ok, but his tantrums bring me to the knees. (sometimes he has none, other days he has 3) I know it's normal, but I'm not normal, I lack the skills to tolerate and accept toddler tantrums, especially when I see he only throws them with me. Sorry I'm a whiner, and a lousy mom. All the books I read and still I lack the skills. I feel like my kids would be better off with a better mother who is patient and calm.
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Old 01-18-2012, 01:02 PM   #360
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Default Re: Yelling Support Thread

man, I've been struggling the past few weeks with this. I'm in the process of making some changes in my parenting/discipline methods and that's helping, but it's moving me further away from the ideals of this board. I don't know what that means for my place here. The stress of constantly trying so hard to be non punitive, and failing so miserable, has ended up being very damaging to my family and my marriage. I'm not sure where we'll end up but we're in a much better place right now.
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