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05-03-2012, 08:25 PM | #1 |
Rose Garden
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huge melt down when sister leaves
Margaret is having awful fits when ever her sister leaves to go play with a friend away from her. They play together a lot and Cecilia is really good about including her sister but sometimes she wants to jsut be with her friends and I respect that..
However the blood curling screaming in my ear over it isn't okay eaither.. I wouldn't mind holding her ect to help ehr through but 1) shes wont let me 2) the screams physcially hurt I'd also be open to ways to help her transation into something else but so far nothign seems to help.. Honestly I've gotten to where Ive told her if she can't calm down she can fuss in her room till she is ready to calm down.. I have no idea if its appropiate or not but so far its the only thing that remotly seems to work.. Totally open to ideas or suggestions though. Deanna
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Deanna wife to Shawn since 2001 mom to a young adult Cecilia , tween Margaret and three I will hold one day in heaven. |
05-03-2012, 08:49 PM | #2 |
Rose Garden
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: The Woodlands, TX
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Re: huge melt down when sister leaves
How old is she?
Honestly, it's okay to tell her she can fuss in her room if she wants to keep fussing. I give a reasonable amount of snuggling and empathy in situations like that, and try to distract and redirect, but after that, they need to either move on or move away so I don't lose my sanity. And if it's working, then I say stick with it.
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Alison wife to Daniel mother to AJ (12/28/05) and PJ (03/19/08) Inspirational Women's Fiction author Children's storybook author Homeschool coach |
05-03-2012, 09:04 PM | #3 |
Rose Garden
sisters!
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Re: huge melt down when sister leaves
she is 2 (March birthday)
Deanna
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Deanna wife to Shawn since 2001 mom to a young adult Cecilia , tween Margaret and three I will hold one day in heaven. |
05-04-2012, 04:17 AM | #4 |
Deactivated
Join Date: Mar 2005
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Re: huge melt down when sister leaves
That was the age I started putting Shrimp in his room. The door was open and he could come out - it just gave me some space.
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05-04-2012, 05:32 AM | #5 |
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Re: huge melt down when sister leaves
At two I'm fine with them showing disappointment. THey don't really know how to express it yet, so I either move myself away (after making sure they are safe) or I put them somewhere away that is safe (their room)
Evie is now, at 3, able to be distracted with "something special just for her" when her sisters get to do something because they are older. It can be any number of things depending on what Im doing or how tired I am, but it works 90% of the time now. Two was about when we started that. Evie is also starting to understand that she won't be little forever and she'll be able to go do the fun things that her sisters are doing now. But at two that looked like sisters/daddy leaving, Evie tantruming, me ignoring, Evie wanting snuggles, me explaining that she won't be little long, but right now she is and does she want something special just for her while they are gone |
05-04-2012, 09:41 AM | #6 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,289
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Re: huge melt down when sister leaves
If there's any way to be proactive, I'd try that. For instance, Sissy is leaving in 20 minutes, so you have "mommy/big girl time) during that transition. Painting toenails, a bubble bath, something that she will enjoy. Start that about 5 minutes before sissy leaves and have it cross over that leaving time.
If a child is screaming like that, I don't think there is anything wrong with telling them they need to calm themselves away from me. I think 2 is about the age I started giving them every opportunity to calm themselves and if they were unable to and obviously didn't want my help, then yeah, move them into their room.
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INTJ Mom of 4
Gav 17 Justin 13 Lala 11 Simon 8 |
05-04-2012, 09:47 AM | #7 |
Rose Garden
sisters!
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Sunniest place on Earth and hotter than Phoenix! Might as well be sitting on the sun...
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Re: huge melt down when sister leaves
no transation time.. Its eaither my oldest sees her friend from the window and bolts outside to play or the friend rings our doorbell and they run off...
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Deanna wife to Shawn since 2001 mom to a young adult Cecilia , tween Margaret and three I will hold one day in heaven. |
05-04-2012, 10:05 AM | #8 |
Climbing Rose
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,289
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Re: huge melt down when sister leaves
gotcha, so yeah, I would offer to do something with her once she calms herself down.
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INTJ Mom of 4
Gav 17 Justin 13 Lala 11 Simon 8 |
05-06-2012, 04:23 AM | #9 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 1,659
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Re: huge melt down when sister leaves
I do the same thing, so glad that I am doing it right.
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