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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 03-12-2012, 06:49 AM   #1
gentletitus2mama
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Unhappy Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

I knew some of my mom friends at church used a schedule and have never said a word about it. But I posted the aap recomendation on facebook lastnight along with my well researched opinion and a few of the ladies commented or messaged me saying they are pretty offended I would post that link and that THEIR children did great and it was a life saver for their family. And I had one that said I should remove the offensive picture with the aap recomendations. I told them that I didn't mean to offend anyone but that after nearly 15 years of researching this issue and now that I am going to college for child development/psychology it's the one parenting topic that I choose to speak out about because it personally affected me and my family. I don't want to lose friends over this but I don't plan to remove it from my page either. But still for this peace lovin' mama it's hard to know that people are upset with me.
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Old 03-12-2012, 06:53 AM   #2
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Default Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

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And my kids were going to behave perfectly all the time and if they didn't, they'd be Dobsoned, but I was going to Dobson so perfectly that they'd know not to slip up but once or twice because I was going to be sooooooo consistent and awesome and wise.
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Old 03-12-2012, 07:00 AM   #3
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Default Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

I'm sorry they're upset with you.

IMO, if you had posted it on THEIR wall, maybe they could be offended, but you posted it on YOUR wall, and they are free to skim right past it if it doesn't appeal to them, ykwim? I think people need to stop cultivating a "spirit of offense" and not feel like they have to police what you post on your wall.

That said, I totally understand how conflict sucks for those of us who are sensitive to it, and I hope it blows over quickly.
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Old 03-12-2012, 07:17 AM   #4
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Default Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

Sorry you're dealing with this. FB is such a double sided thing. IRT someoen suggesting you "should" do something. I've said more than once to people who make such comments to me "Please do not "should" me. Thank you." And leave it at that. As for their offense, it is their choice. And, yes it is a choice to be offended. It isn't like you posted something from an alternative minded source. It is a mainstream organization.
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Old 03-12-2012, 07:58 AM   #5
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Default Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

People told you to take it down off YOUR wall? Whoa.
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Old 03-12-2012, 08:49 AM   #6
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Default Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

They can hide that individual story if it offends them so bad. You don't have to do a thing.
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Old 03-12-2012, 08:51 AM   #7
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Default Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

it's incredibly unboundaried for them to tell you to take it off of your wall. And it's not like you are the AAP
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Old 03-12-2012, 08:52 AM   #8
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Default Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

What's the app???

Otherwise, I can't stand conflict either, but at some point you just have to say, "I am not ultimately responsible for your feelings."
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:00 AM   #9
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Default Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

Sounds like your post hit a nerve. I'd be rather pleased about that, personally.
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:03 AM   #10
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Default Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

Your board your post. They can hide it from view if it bothers them. I do this regularly!
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:05 AM   #11
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Default Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

brush off the haters..

seriously, i really really wish *someone* in the church would have told me that it was ok to NOT schedule,or to pick my baby up when he cried.

keep it up, dont feel bad.you never know who just got the approval to follow their heart
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:08 AM   #12
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Default Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by BabyMonsterMommy View Post
What's the app???

Otherwise, I can't stand conflict either, but at some point you just have to say, "I am not ultimately responsible for your feelings."
AAP = American Academy of Pediatrics

I agree that this shows a serious lack of boundaries on their part and that people have the ability to choose whether or not to be offended. You have the right to speak out for something you feel strongly about, ESPECIALLY when backed by so much research and information.
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:09 AM   #13
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Default Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ajani View Post
Sounds like your post hit a nerve. I'd be rather pleased about that, personally.
What she said!!

Way to go for standing up for it! I hate causing conflict too which is why I don't post about these types of things... I sometimes wish I had more nerve.
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:26 AM   #14
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Default Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

Ooooohhhhhhhh!!!! I thought YOU were recommending an "app." I was like I WANT THAT!
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Old 03-12-2012, 09:58 AM   #15
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Default Re: Hate to cause conflict with my church ladies.

Good for you!!

ENFP moment here:
My sister tried to pull this "that offends me you shouldn't put it on your wall" crud with me. My response was "My FB is like my home....I can put anything I want on the walls and no one can expect me to change it...because it's mine. Now, if I come in *your* home and start redecorating and putting things on *your* walls....be offended....you would have every right. However, on my wall, just look away or don't comment if you don't like it." doesn't matter now...she doesn't have access.
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