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07-20-2011, 05:01 AM | #61 |
Rose Garden
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Since this is in a public part of the forum-can I have dh read the op? We are struggling with how we view things as defiance.
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I'm Megan (ENFP, DYT Type 1)
Married since 2007 to my Apple-geeky artist Don (INTJ) Mommy to Lydia (1/08) "Nature is really dirty" Charlotte (7/10) "me am not chawlotte me are batman" Introducing Nolan January 11, 2014 |
07-20-2011, 05:12 AM | #62 |
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
anything public is fair game for all
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The Following User Says Thank You to Heather Micaela For This Useful Post: | Tandem mama (07-20-2011) |
07-20-2011, 12:54 PM | #63 |
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
That's what I thought but am still new and didn't want to break rules.
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I'm Megan (ENFP, DYT Type 1)
Married since 2007 to my Apple-geeky artist Don (INTJ) Mommy to Lydia (1/08) "Nature is really dirty" Charlotte (7/10) "me am not chawlotte me are batman" Introducing Nolan January 11, 2014 |
The Following User Says Thank You to Tandem mama For This Useful Post: | ArmsOfLove (10-21-2011) |
10-21-2011, 07:16 PM | #64 |
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
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INxJ Type 4/2 Wife to DH since 2003 Homeschooling Mama to Munchkin #1 (M) - Sept/05, and Munchkin #2 (A) - Nov/10 |
10-31-2011, 01:41 PM | #65 |
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Subbing.
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10-31-2011, 04:20 PM | #66 |
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Thanks Crystal, that was a really simple way of putting it. I really appreciate that. It certainly will make me think when it comes to the children and their defiance. I do have a question though, not sure whether this has already been discussed as I only your original post. What if the defiance is against doing something? Eg my daughter was adamant that she was not going to do her school work with me yesterday, I have no idea why but she was in a very cranky mood not wanting to do anything at all that I suggested. How do you deal with that? Do you as the parent ask why she is feeling that way, why she is not wanting to do school work? Sorry, but I am only just beginning on my journey as a grace based parent.
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10-31-2011, 04:31 PM | #67 | |
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Quote:
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11-03-2011, 11:44 PM | #68 |
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
I will hunt out that other thread. But thank you, that so makes sense.
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06-03-2012, 06:16 PM | #69 |
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Way old thread that I want to sub Great stuff here.
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06-03-2012, 06:34 PM | #70 |
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
me, too
thanks for bumping it so I could find it
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~ judith blessed with a creative, encouraging man of God for my husband since October 2001 blessed with a delightful, creative little girl since February 2008 blessed with a sweet {but sometimes fierce} empathetic little girl since April 2010 word on the street is I am an ENFP For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. |
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06-08-2012, 08:07 PM | #71 | |
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Deuteronomy 11:19
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Quote:
Now that he is older when he is defient I have discovered it is usually because I've either not been consistent or I have treated him unjustly and he is defiant and uncooperative out of hurt and anger, that is MY fault, it doesn't excuse him but it does help me understand, then I step forward and apologize, re-establish boundaries etc and almost immediately he is a different child. I'm modeling correct behavior and addressed the true situation, his defiance was a helpless, hurt, and/or confused child's reaction to confusing boundaries/authority and/or unjustness.
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"Reflections like these lead one to spare the rod ... purely because it is not easy to find a punishment that does not defeat it's own ends." -Charlotte Mason Parents and Children pg. 171 "If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172 W&C 8/4/06; G 15yo , M 11yo , S 8/29/13 , V 8yo , Baby 2yo |
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The Following User Says Thank You to SewingGreenMama For This Useful Post: | mokamoto (06-14-2012) |
06-08-2012, 08:58 PM | #72 | |
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Quote:
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The Following User Says Thank You to katiekind For This Useful Post: | SewingGreenMama (06-10-2012) |
06-09-2012, 03:27 AM | #73 |
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
For my oldest, I've noticed "defiance" during stress times and age changes. I think the age changes may be a hormonal shift. When she feels out of control, she becomes oppositional and fights me for control over everything going on in our home. We keep our boundaries but make space for extra choice making for her during those times. We try to allow her to feel more in control without becoming permissive and losing all boundaries. We reasses some of them to make sure they're necessary. Mostly we just wait the phase out.
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I'm Megan (ENFP, DYT Type 1)
Married since 2007 to my Apple-geeky artist Don (INTJ) Mommy to Lydia (1/08) "Nature is really dirty" Charlotte (7/10) "me am not chawlotte me are batman" Introducing Nolan January 11, 2014 |
06-10-2012, 11:06 AM | #74 |
Rose Trellis
Deuteronomy 11:19
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Good to know my techno kid isn't the only one.
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"Reflections like these lead one to spare the rod ... purely because it is not easy to find a punishment that does not defeat it's own ends." -Charlotte Mason Parents and Children pg. 171 "If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172 W&C 8/4/06; G 15yo , M 11yo , S 8/29/13 , V 8yo , Baby 2yo |
The Following User Says Thank You to SewingGreenMama For This Useful Post: | katiekind (06-10-2012) |
06-14-2012, 02:13 AM | #75 |
Rose Blossom
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Re: I need to say a few things about the idea of defiance
Thanks, that is a very helpful way of looking at things (that kids may be testing the rule for greater understanding, rather than testing a parent for "weakness"). I'll try to tuck that info in the back of my mind somewhere for any future frustrating moments.
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