My most behaved child suddenly.....isn't

[rjy9343]

Playful parenting is great. It's a great to switch tactics and gears so that your child minds you without either one of you really backing down. If you have a child that's more confrontational then you can move them in the right direction before they know what's happening. Since it's fun, they are more likely to continue without a fuss.
You get the cooperation you need without all the drama do it or else brings. Win- win.

[Soliloquy]

Everything your describing sounds like very typical toddler behavior to me. It is good to gently set boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable behavior but there are some things you just have to accept with a 3-year-old.

All of my toddlers went through a very helpful stage and then a very unhelpful stage. During the unhelpful stage, toys that drove me batty got boxed up and stored away for awhile. Fewer toys usually results in happier, more cooperative children.

---------- Post added at 11:19 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:17 AM ----------

Messing up sister's chores would be unacceptable. Before she starts doing them, engage him in something else-- playing outside, play dough, a board game, helping you cook, etc.

The laughing and running away is his idea of engaging you, most likely. He doesn't know the acceptable way to ask for attention and a playmate.

[ModestMama]

Originally Posted by Soliloquy

Everything your describing sounds like very typical toddler behavior to me. It is good to gently set boundaries of acceptable and unacceptable behavior but there are some things you just have to accept with a 3-year-old.

All of my toddlers went through a very helpful stage and then a very unhelpful stage. During the unhelpful stage, toys that drove me batty got boxed up and stored away for awhile. Fewer toys usually results in happier, more cooperative children.

---------- Post added at 11:19 AM ---------- Previous post was at 11:17 AM ----------

Messing up sister's chores would be unacceptable. Before she starts doing them, engage him in something else-- playing outside, play dough, a board game, helping you cook, etc.

The laughing and running away is his idea of engaging you, most likely. He doesn't know the acceptable way to ask for attention and a playmate.

Thank you! I will definitely start engaging him!! Such good advice! I really appreciate it.
Now what should I do as far as him throwing things at US. He has a really good aim and a strong arm. And he throws heAvy things and aims at our faces.

[Kiara.I]

Originally Posted by ModestMama

Now what should I do as far as him throwing things at US. He has a really good aim and a strong arm. And he throws heAvy things and aims at our faces.

What things is he allowed to throw, and where? For us we can throw balls in the hallway. So when he throws, remind him of the rule, grab a ball, and go play in the hallway for a while.

[ModestMama]

Originally Posted by Kiara.I

What things is he allowed to throw, and where? For us we can throw balls in the hallway. So when he throws, remind him of the rule, grab a ball, and go play in the hallway for a while.

He has a crochet ball that I made him ( tad bigger than a softball) that he can throw in the house and I allow him to throw balloons. So I will do what you suggested. Thanks!

[Beth1231]

I saw your title and thought "Me tooooooo "
Except my easy-going cuddle bug didn't turn not easy until he turned four. Which was three months ago.
I have ramped up the scripting for him." I see you are walking in tiny baby steps like this [I mimic him]. Does your body need something?"
Or the tear my hair out,excessive whiiiiiiiining. Ugh. "I cannot understand you when your voice goes high pitched and stretched out like this [mimic him]. Try to tell me what you want like this [script normal request voice]."
"You may not run away from the table. Come back,sit down. I will help you,tell me what you need. Okay,you do not want Brussels sprouts on your plate. Thank you for telling me what you are thinking,now I can help."
"Mama,big sister took my airplane and I feel very angry and sad. It makes me angry that I cannot reach it."
Etc. Ad nauseum. It's soooo frustrating. I want him to be the easy,convenient kid yes but More than that,I want him to have a voice. And all this excessive scripting,quietly making eye contact and slowwwly parenting stuff (because I tend to give directions too quickly) IS paying off.
He says amazing things to me lately like "Mommy,I feel sad because you played with [big sister] and held and kissed [Baby brother] but didn't play with me. And so I feel sad now."
Alrighty then. The precious toddler who sucked his thumb and came along quietly without a word was WAY easier. But we both know these new,emerging independent,emotionally intelligent, attached little boys we are raising are WAY more important than our temporary sanity. Just think of what kind of men they will be!
All the hugs. I am so there with you.

[ModestMama]

Originally Posted by Beth1231

I saw your title and thought "Me tooooooo "
Except my easy-going cuddle bug didn't turn not easy until he turned four. Which was three months ago.
I have ramped up the scripting for him." I see you are walking in tiny baby steps like this [I mimic him]. Does your body need something?"
Or the tear my hair out,excessive whiiiiiiiining. Ugh. "I cannot understand you when your voice goes high pitched and stretched out like this [mimic him]. Try to tell me what you want like this [script normal request voice]."
"You may not run away from the table. Come back,sit down. I will help you,tell me what you need. Okay,you do not want Brussels sprouts on your plate. Thank you for telling me what you are thinking,now I can help."
"Mama,big sister took my airplane and I feel very angry and sad. It makes me angry that I cannot reach it."
Etc. Ad nauseum. It's soooo frustrating. I want him to be the easy,convenient kid yes but More than that,I want him to have a voice. And all this excessive scripting,quietly making eye contact and slowwwly parenting stuff (because I tend to give directions too quickly) IS paying off.
He says amazing things to me lately like "Mommy,I feel sad because you played with [big sister] and held and kissed [Baby brother] but didn't play with me. And so I feel sad now."
Alrighty then. The precious toddler who sucked his thumb and came along quietly without a word was WAY easier. But we both know these new,emerging independent,emotionally intelligent, attached little boys we are raising are WAY more important than our temporary sanity. Just think of what kind of men they will be!
All the hugs. I am so there with you.

Thank you soooooo much for this! This gives me hope. I've never done the scripting before. Looks like I have alot to learn!

[Beth1231]

Scripting has been a God-send and I mean that literally. GCM is loaded with scripting (maybe type it in the search bar when you have some time to take notes) and I use it every single day. Little people usually only have a vague idea of how to express their jumble of emotions. Putting words to it gives them power to communicate with you. And it tells them "I see you. I hear your words. I care about you. You're not alone with your big feelings. I'm here to help."

[MrsDuck]

Also, the other tool that works well with my three year old is, do you want to do it or do you want me to help you? I'm going to help you when I get to three. One. Two... I try to remember how little he still is (even though he frequently tells me that he's big now) and sometimes he really does need the help. And it's ok.

[ReedleBeetle]

When I didn't want to get up to reinforce a leave it alone.... I played "Where's my Baby?" or "Come give Momma a big hug afore you get in trouble" in a silly voice with arms stretched great big. Both worked fabulously. Lol

Also....taking 5 minutes to get a 3yr old really engaged in a toy like trains or cars or whatever they can engage in imaginatively, would often give me an hour of time to get something else done.... And he felt loved.