Deciding what I WILL do.

[Kiara.I]

I tried out this tool this week, and it worked SO well:
http://blog.positivediscipline.com/2...u-will-do.html

As I mentioned elsewhere, I said at 8:20 that I would be willing to read out loud until 8:45, and to let me know when they were ready. The fell over each other sprinting for their toothbrushes. Fastest, most co-operative bedtime EVER!

I'd like to use it more.

I find being out doing errands or even special events with the kids SO draining. But it's not fighting in the car (usually). I think I need to figure out what, exactly, I'm finding so draining, so that I can then figure out how to phrase for them what I "will" do. And ideas, for what that "will" will be. I suspect there's more than one issue that needs solving. But maybe I can work on one at a time.

I know one of the drawbacks is that I want to hurry on and get things done, or get there on time, or whatever, so the idea of stopping and waiting whenever the "issue" comes up (whatever the issue might be) makes me nervous. But maybe you can help me come up with some ideas. This is mostly for the 8 and 6, the toddler I think is still a bit young for this to be the best tool with her--or rather, I probably already do it a lot with her as part of the 5 steps kind of scenario--"Okay, mommy will help you." With the olders, I'm a bit less sure.

And this might not be the best tool for the job for all the "issues" that tend to come up, so feel free to point that out too.

I know one thing is that kids dash off when they should be with me in a store or something, and try to touch, grab, investigate, things that would be better left alone. Trying to call them back all the time REALLY uses my energy fast. Today:
We went to pick up packages. I reviewed before we went in that they needed to stay with me, use good manners, etc. We went in, <<oh, there's another. They often dash ahead to get to where we're going. I find that bothersome too, because they get in people's way, block the door, or start investigating things before I can even get there.>>

Anyway, we went in and my 6 immediately took off to a table and started playing with the BOXCUTTER. So even though I had reviewed RIGHT before, off he went. Okay. I've clearly failed in teaching him appropriately, so...how do I now fix it?
So two questions: How do I teach appropriate behaviour in public? And, like in that blog post, what "will I do"?

Doorways are a separate issue I *think*. Separate work needed on manners of letting people through and holding doors for people.

Dashing ahead to doorways--again, a "stay with me" issue. When it doesn't work, what "will I do"?

Then, the talking overtop. One of them is especially prone to it, but they will both launch into whatever was in their head without pausing to listen for anyone else talking first. Any suggestions on addressing that one? I suspect it's still age-expected behaviour, but...

Anyway. Ideas?

[rcsmom]

I dont have a lot of suggestions but one thing that I thought of for the 6 year old is if he cant control himself in public (keeping hands to himself, stay close, etc) then you hold his hand the whole time you are in the store. I know for my guy he would much rather walk nicely beside me than have to hold my hand the entire time

[Tasmanian Saint]

Might a "Keep your hands in your pockets/behind your back" rule help them to remember not to touch things at least?
Can you give them jobs to do, something to find and bring back to you so they are allowed to run off? Or would they lose focus?
Can you have them hold your shopping trolley? Or your skirt?
"If you run off we will leave the store right away"?
"When we have done this shopping, with both of you staying beside me holding the trolley the whole time, we will have time for a treat at the cafe before we go home, but if I have to chase after you we will run out of time"?

When my ds was in a running off phase, each time he ran ahead and didn't stop or come back when I called, we played a stop and go game practicing - Right there in the street. But he was quite young then.

For etiquette around doors, I guess role-play practice at home and maybe a codeword for a reminder might be the go?

If you come up with anything for talking over the top of others, let me know