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Unprepared for Parenting (Ezzos, Pearls, Etc.) *Public* Support and information for those affected by the Ezzos, the Pearls, and other punitive and adversarial methods of child-rearing.
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23. No posts harshly dissecting parenting moments of others since we desire to humbly cultivate a heart attitude of grace and not judgment towards other mamas. We all struggle at times as parents and have much to learn, and GCM's focus is to provide tools and information for each of us to parent more effectively. Posts voicing some frustration regarding choices made by others can be okay, but it needs to be within the overall context of seeking understanding or ideas for better responses in the future.

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Old 06-23-2011, 04:37 PM   #1
katiekind
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Default What's your Babywise story?

I'm collecting stories....what's yours?
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Old 06-23-2011, 04:47 PM   #2
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Default Re: What's your Babywise story?

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Old 06-23-2011, 06:31 PM   #3
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Default Re: What's your Babywise story?

I don't really have one, but I'm interested in hearing others.
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Old 06-23-2011, 06:39 PM   #4
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Default Re: What's your Babywise story?

Ds was colicky. I went to the bookstore looking for any information I could find. The cover to Babywise seemed promising, especially something about the baby sleeping through the night by a certain age.

I flipped through it. The talk about parent directed feeding didn't mesh with my understanding that God made babies and mothers with sensible instincts. I put it away and picked up Dr. Sears' book instead.
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Old 06-23-2011, 07:14 PM   #5
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Default Re: What's your Babywise story?

I bought it and read the whole thing when dd was 3 weeks old. I had only heard good things about it, and I thought it was just what you *did.* I started dd on the feeding schedule (the eat/wake/sleep) and that part worked pretty well for us. . I let dd CIO for nap time once (at 3 weeks old ) After 40 minutes I was in tears too and just decided it wasn't worth it. We still co-slept (b/c I was lazy ) so CIO at night wasn't an issue.

When dd was maybe 4 or 5 weeks old, we were at a bf group and I mentioned doing the babywise thing. The LC and another girl (our own Niphridil ) said, " You know babywise is BAD, right?!?" The LC went and printed a bunch of AP anti-BW stuff and gave it to me. I went home and read and read and googled and read. I was and and . I never looked back to babywise. I wouldn't find GCM for another 2 years, but thankfully by that time I already knew where I stood on BW and CIO.
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Old 06-23-2011, 07:26 PM   #6
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Default Re: What's your Babywise story?

I was at a friend's house and still holding/nursing my baby to sleep and she said, "Wow, Baby, you get whatever you want." The comment took me by surprise and dripped with "I can't believe you are parenting that way". They told me about a parenting class they had taken in the States called Parenting God's Way. I was really intrigued and wondered what I was doing wrong. I wanted to parent God's Way! But alas, we were not in the States at that time and I just kept on with what I was doing. With this same family, we would get together often and the kids would get into things and they would end up spanking and we wouldn't (even though we had not given up spanking yet, they were a little more inclined to quicker than we were). There was slight tension because maybe they felt we had not "dealt" with the problem and they had.

Well I kept having kids and we did end up in the States again and an older lady in church approached me with concern because her son and daughter-in-law were using this program and very strict with when the baby needed to eat and sleep. As grandparents, it was really hard for them to feel like that had to follow that schedule when they saw the baby needed other things. I promised to pray. I talked with her a few months later and found out the parents had wised up and dropped the plan. This was the first time I heard negative things about the program and was glad that I did not pursue it.
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Last edited by FebFaith; 06-23-2011 at 07:28 PM. Reason: grammar issues
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Old 06-23-2011, 07:29 PM   #7
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Default Re: What's your Babywise story?

Why are you collecting them?
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Old 06-23-2011, 07:56 PM   #8
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Default Re: What's your Babywise story?

Well, for a couple of reasons. One is that I took my head out of the sand and realized there has (maybe) been a resurgence of its popularity. So I've been thinking about Babywise a lot recently and its effects on mothers and babies, and wondering what you newer parents are experiencing in that department.

Secondarily and separately, I help administer the Ezzo.info website and if anyone is interested in having their story published there, I can make that happen. It doesn't have to be a dramatic story to be helpful to other parents.

Last edited by katiekind; 06-23-2011 at 07:58 PM.
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Old 06-23-2011, 08:05 PM   #9
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Default Re: What's your Babywise story?

This post basically tells my story I think http://www.gentlechristianmothers.co...60#post3586960
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Old 06-23-2011, 08:30 PM   #10
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Default Re: What's your Babywise story?

Subbing to come back with a computer
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Old 06-23-2011, 08:54 PM   #11
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Default Re: What's your Babywise story?

Quote:
Originally Posted by katiekind View Post
One is that I took my head out of the sand and realized there has (maybe) been a resurgence of its popularity.
From being on FB, I can tell you a lot more people use it than I would have thought did. I don't know to what extent/level, but I do hear about it a lot more now than I did when Dressy was little.

But there are other names I'm hearing more of in the circles I'm in, that are a combo of Ezzo and Tripp with a little more fear thrown in, just for good measure. It saddens my heart immensely when I hear of 6 week old babies being left to cio for 3 weeks.

The good? bad? thing is more and more of a line is being drawn nowadays between BW and non-BW, from what I'm seeing. A lot more mom of littles are speaking out for following God-given instincts for mothering.
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Old 06-23-2011, 09:56 PM   #12
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Default Re: What's your Babywise story?

I read it before having DD. I wasn't sold on any particular style of baby-raising. I remember saying something to DH about how it's such a great idea that the baby should just fit into our lives, and he looked at me like I was crazy, and said something like, "I don't think it's possible." That was the extent of my BW experience.

I maintained a rough schedule with DD, but she fell into it on her own, and she was on formula, so it was easier (I think) to gauge.
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Old 06-23-2011, 11:43 PM   #13
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Default Re: What's your Babywise story?

My sister gave me the book before I was pg and I read it and thought it made total sense. I honestly didn't see anything bad about it. I figured this is just how things were done. When I as pg I decided to get a midwife because I wanted someone who would answer all my questions and not rush me. At the office they had books you could borrow and so I borrowed Dr Sears book The Attachment Parenting Book. My husband and I read it together and we were surprised. We found it to be so logical and well researched...not like Baby Wise. I was convinced. I am so thankful to my midwives and to Dr. Sears, although once my baby arrived I'm sure there is no way I could have ever let them CIO. It would have been impossible. My husband and I find our hearts ache when our little one is upset. It's not bearable to think of ignoring that.
Now I have joined "Mom's against Baby wise" on Facebook and I got rid of the book. My least favourite quote from Baby wise is,"An all to familiar site, a mother nurses her infant to sleep" Horror of horrors, can you believe it? Hmmm...I wonder if Ezzo understands that God put sleep hormones in breast milk for a reason.
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Old 06-23-2011, 11:55 PM   #14
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Default Re: What's your Babywise story?

I picked up BW in a Christian bookshop when I was pg and flipped through it. Fortunately, since I'm the sort of person who tends to 'do what I'm told' and I really didn't have much in the way of instincts, God had gone before . I'd previously read a book or two on 'natural parenting' which had sold me on co-sleeping (not hard to do - I have a LOT of trouble going back to sleep after waking at night, so all I really needed was someone to point out to me that it's an option ). When I flipped through BW I found that Ezzo was stridently against co-sleeping, so that put me off. I also found a mention of being a 'Parent In Control' and I was like, babies don't need to be controlled, that sounds rather weird. So I didn't get that book
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Old 06-24-2011, 12:37 AM   #15
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Default Re: What's your Babywise story?

Um, I buy them (when I can afford it) at yard sales and second hand stores...I recently bought a copy and had it in a box of things in the basement - came downstairs this morning and the dog had pooped on it . I thought it was very telling that out of a whole box of miscellaneous items, she knew right where the target was .
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