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Old 03-24-2011, 08:16 PM   #196
magpiemind
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

These are great - I hope I can remember them when the time comes! I just want to print the whole thread and stick it up on the nursery wall.
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Old 07-13-2011, 04:27 AM   #197
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Wow. I so need this. Not that I'm looking forward to getting upset again, but I can't wait to try it
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Old 07-13-2011, 08:12 AM   #198
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

I need to know where to find this thread, too.
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Old 06-08-2012, 07:17 PM   #199
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

I just read through this entire thread and want to thank everyone who contributed so much! Just starting out on some re-parenting of myself and this thread has been so helpful!
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Old 06-10-2012, 11:12 AM   #200
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

LOL, I usually just chant "Jesus, Jesus, Jesus help, Jesus..." then berate myself when the situation is over that I handled it badly....I definitely need to GBD myself.
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"If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172

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Old 06-10-2012, 02:40 PM   #201
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blueberrybabies View Post
I sooo understand this, as we have this exact scenerio with my 4yo. Reading your description, and thinking back to times I've had to deal with this, I can break the anger down into:
fear/panic that the poop will get everywhere/he'll eat it

frustration that I just want to get him cleaned off thoroughly so it won't make him more sore, and he won't let me and I can't get him to understand that

I will say that at this point, the arching and clamping really only happens when he's having loose poop and his bottom is sore. Away from the situation, I have the perspective to realize that his bottom really hurts and the wiping makes it worse and he's really just trying to protect himself. I keep not actually doing this myself but I think the best thing here would be to try changing standing up in the tub. That way the mess is contained to an easily cleaned place, and you could spray him off if you have a handheld shower, or pour water with a cup, both of which would be less painful than wiping.
This is what I do if M is refusing to cooperate with a change and I'm starting to see red. I lay a towel over the side of the tub (for him to lean against) because our tub is enameled cast iron and COLD, turn on warm water and spray him down really good (we have a LONG hose that I also use to spray down diapers). when I'm done I put a fresh diaper on him give him to dh or put him somewhere safe and clean the tub (cleaning is my go to for getting my anger out) yammering at myself to get a grip and realize that he is simply just learning to be mobile and doesn't want to stop no matter how bloody his bottom gets if I wait more then a few minutes to change him!
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"Reflections like these lead one to spare the rod ... purely because it is not easy to find a punishment that does not defeat it's own ends." -Charlotte Mason Parents and Children pg. 171

"If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172

W&C 8/4/06; G 12yo , M 8yo , S 8/29/13 , V 4yo , Baby 3/20
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Old 06-12-2012, 02:52 AM   #202
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

I so needed this thread! Ty! Now to only remember it when I need it.
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Old 07-17-2012, 12:59 PM   #203
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

A thanked post brought me back to this thread . . . we're ever so much bettah, but it's still a journey.
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Old 01-19-2013, 08:19 PM   #204
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Just discovered this thread...subbing so I don't lose it as I begin to read through
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Old 01-19-2013, 11:24 PM   #205
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Old 01-20-2013, 12:30 AM   #206
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

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Old 01-20-2013, 03:26 AM   #207
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

I needed this thread. I'm generally scared of posting on super long threads, but I'm going to do it!!
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Old 01-20-2013, 05:10 AM   #208
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Subbing too.
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Old 01-20-2013, 05:40 AM   #209
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Old 01-23-2013, 06:28 PM   #210
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Default Re: s/o parenting self-talk

Quote:
Originally Posted by Herbwifemama View Post
I'm in. I tend to berate myself when I'm upset (maybe that's what my parents did... I know I saw my dad get mad at dd for losing her temper last time we were there. ) I think GBDing myself would work a lot better, and then whatever I play in my head is a lot more likely to come out of my mouth when I'm parenting dd.

I used to get upset at her for accidents- spilling things- because I do that to myself. I've learned to be a lot gentler with us both. No point in blaming an accident on her. It's just an accident.
I had a lightbulb moment yesterday- I am impatient and tough on my kids when I'm feeling like I did something poorly or I'm thinking about an interaction that didn't go as I liked. If I start with giving myself grace, acknowledging my feelings and parenting myself, I'll parent them better as well. I've always been one to internalize criticisms and worries and repeat them endlessly. I can be really hard on myself.
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