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12-24-2014, 11:22 AM | #1 |
Rose Garden
previously mlrowley
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NW WA
Posts: 17,935
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How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper
Maybe not as extreme, but right now at 6 years old, it feels impossible. I'm here. He refuses to do most self care himself. We all try to help him but if it is not done just so, he loses it.
Take this morning for example. He is in the bathroom yelling for help. I come in and ask what is the problem? He starts screaming that is his least favorite question and that I don't understand. I make a educated guess that he needs a towel and bring him one. He yells again that isn't the problem and that I don't understand. How do I help him if he won't tell me what is going on in his head. He expects us to do a lot for him because he doesn't like doing it. Sometimes we can work with that. Other times, not so much. The other kids are getting fed up with his behavior and how much time it takes and how he seems to get everything done for him. This can't be fun for him either.
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Michelle wife to Tom ('95) Momma to: DD (A) 21 and her DH (YM) 21 DS (T) 19 DD (C) 17 '07 DS (N) 14 Save Save
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The Following User Says they are praying for The Tickle Momster: | Quiteria (12-26-2014) |
12-24-2014, 11:32 AM | #2 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Aug 2008
Posts: 30,329
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Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper
I tell the boy when you are flipping out, your brain isn't getting enough oxygen to think what TO do. For communication where he doesn't fully explain and expects me to know, I use try again.
6 was hard here because he became resistant to help but wasn't quite able to think things through for himself. A visual aid of what he needs to complete showering or getting dressed or whatever he struggles with might be helpful. Does he have a diagnosis? I would not assume he wants things done just because he doesn't like doing them. Our OT said it often seems that way when they actually can't or have quite a bit of difficulty. |
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12-26-2014, 01:21 PM | #3 |
Rose Garden
previously mlrowley
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NW WA
Posts: 17,935
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Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper
We do not have a diagnosis. I have talked with friends who work with special kids. They feel his issues are more intelligence and less likely to be autism. One friend spent an entire day with him, knowing my concerns. I've worked with spectrum kids and he doesn't quite fit there. I'm not an expert, but my gut says no.
His inability/unwillingness to express his needs have caused us to not go places, end family games and similar. So, maybe I'm expecting too much? Something more is going on? He doesn't like/thinks he can't spread butter on pancakes. He drips drinks and grunts/makes noises to get someone else to get him a napkin rather than picking up the one right in front of him. He gets stuck, I need to help him get unstuck.
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Michelle wife to Tom ('95) Momma to: DD (A) 21 and her DH (YM) 21 DS (T) 19 DD (C) 17 '07 DS (N) 14 Save Save
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12-26-2014, 04:35 PM | #4 |
Rose Garden
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 23,483
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Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper
One thing I have tried with nonverbal kids is to ask whether he wants a towel before going to get it...see if I can get a nod yes or headshake no...then brainstorm other ideas like needing a rinse, being cold, getting water or soap out of eyes, etc.
I might try re-wording the question..."What to you need me to help with?" instead of using the word "problem." So very frustrating
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Homeschooling mama to five: a young adult (graduated!), two high schoolers, a big kid, and a kindergartner And yes, they've all aged overnight since the last time you read my out-of-date sigg. |
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12-26-2014, 05:20 PM | #5 |
Rose Trellis
Deuteronomy 11:19
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 3,051
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Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper
Gabriel was a slow verbal communicator mixed with acts of service primary love language.
Along with mild auditory processing issues and very very short attention span making teaching him to do things harder then with his 3yo brother. It's been a mix of learning when he is asking because he is unsure how to do it himself, not sure what he was asked to do, can't remember what to do next, or he is emotionally drained and needs his love tank filled. This sounds to me like a mix of several things. sounds really frustrating.
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"Reflections like these lead one to spare the rod ... purely because it is not easy to find a punishment that does not defeat it's own ends." -Charlotte Mason Parents and Children pg. 171 "If punishment were necessarily reformative, and able to cure us all of those 'sins we have a mind to,' why, the world would be a very good world;" -Charlotte Mason, Parents and Children pg. 172 W&C 8/4/06; G 15yo , M 11yo , S 8/29/13 , V 8yo , Baby 2yo |
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01-03-2015, 11:59 AM | #6 |
Rose Garden
previously mlrowley
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NW WA
Posts: 17,935
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Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper
Please click one of the Quick Reply icons in the posts above to activate Quick Reply.
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Michelle wife to Tom ('95) Momma to: DD (A) 21 and her DH (YM) 21 DS (T) 19 DD (C) 17 '07 DS (N) 14 Save Save
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01-11-2015, 11:46 AM | #7 | |
Rose Garden
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 25,840
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Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper
Quote:
What if you came in the bathroom (or wherever) and just responded to the yelling instead of ready to try to fix a problem? For example: MOOOOOOOM!!!! SOMEOOOONEEEE!!!! Hi Toby! I heard you yelling so I came in here. Then let him respond. Give him a minute to say something. I've obviously spent a good amount of time with him as well and I seem to have like a 6th sense about things like spd, autism, etc. I don't get that with him at all either. My thought from reading your post and seeing it IRL, I'd honestly give it a little LESS attention. Not ignore him or his needs at all, but less fuss about his actions and reactions. And less assumption about his needs? More time for him to express them himself?
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MOMMY TO A - 14 A - 11 N - 8 Last edited by Codi; 01-11-2015 at 11:57 AM. |
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01-11-2015, 04:43 PM | #8 |
Rose Garden
previously mlrowley
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NW WA
Posts: 17,935
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Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper
That reply above is weird. I typed a whole post. No wonder I didn't have any replies.
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Michelle wife to Tom ('95) Momma to: DD (A) 21 and her DH (YM) 21 DS (T) 19 DD (C) 17 '07 DS (N) 14 Save Save
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01-12-2015, 01:01 AM | #9 |
Rose Trellis
Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 3,155
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Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper
It happens. Computers are weird that way.
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01-31-2015, 12:21 PM | #10 |
Guest
Posts: n/a
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Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper
Look into NLD (Nonverbal Language Disorder) as well. He might have a mild case. I would also try giving him a longer time to respond. When you finally figure out what he needs, perhaps script him to ask? He might not be able to get the words out.
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The Following User Says Thank You to For This Useful Post: | The Tickle Momster (01-31-2015) |
01-31-2015, 05:11 PM | #11 |
Rose Garden
previously mlrowley
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: NW WA
Posts: 17,935
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Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper
His current explanation is that he doesn't like to ask for things.
I'll look into the NLD.
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Michelle wife to Tom ('95) Momma to: DD (A) 21 and her DH (YM) 21 DS (T) 19 DD (C) 17 '07 DS (N) 14 Save Save
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01-31-2015, 07:51 PM | #12 |
Rose Garden
Rock on!!!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 18,102
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Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper
When my kids get really stuck we do our "hot chocolate" breathing, and then I try to change rooms with them into a new sensory environment. Doesn't have to be a major difference, just enough to jog their surroundings...often it gets them unstuck and we can move through. Drinking water can do that too.
Hot chocolate breathing: child holds imaginary mug of hot chocolate in front of their face...they slowly smell in the yummy hot chocolate and then gently blow on it to cool it down. 3 repetitions usually does it.
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~Heather~
ENFP married to my ENJF hubby gently mothering: ds15yo- the performer, ds14yo- the gamer, ds 12yo- the adventurer, and dd 10yo-the dynamo Missing my little Malachi David and Hannah Danielle, in Jesus' arms Check out my blog "Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You." *Dr Seuss* |
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