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Old 12-24-2014, 11:22 AM   #1
The Tickle Momster
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Question How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper

Maybe not as extreme, but right now at 6 years old, it feels impossible. I'm here. He refuses to do most self care himself. We all try to help him but if it is not done just so, he loses it.

Take this morning for example. He is in the bathroom yelling for help. I come in and ask what is the problem? He starts screaming that is his least favorite question and that I don't understand. I make a educated guess that he needs a towel and bring him one. He yells again that isn't the problem and that I don't understand.

How do I help him if he won't tell me what is going on in his head.

He expects us to do a lot for him because he doesn't like doing it. Sometimes we can work with that. Other times, not so much. The other kids are getting fed up with his behavior and how much time it takes and how he seems to get everything done for him. This can't be fun for him either.

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Old 12-24-2014, 11:32 AM   #2
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Default Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper

I tell the boy when you are flipping out, your brain isn't getting enough oxygen to think what TO do. For communication where he doesn't fully explain and expects me to know, I use try again.

6 was hard here because he became resistant to help but wasn't quite able to think things through for himself. A visual aid of what he needs to complete showering or getting dressed or whatever he struggles with might be helpful.

Does he have a diagnosis? I would not assume he wants things done just because he doesn't like doing them. Our OT said it often seems that way when they actually can't or have quite a bit of difficulty.
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Old 12-26-2014, 01:21 PM   #3
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Default Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper

We do not have a diagnosis. I have talked with friends who work with special kids. They feel his issues are more intelligence and less likely to be autism. One friend spent an entire day with him, knowing my concerns. I've worked with spectrum kids and he doesn't quite fit there. I'm not an expert, but my gut says no.

His inability/unwillingness to express his needs have caused us to not go places, end family games and similar.

So, maybe I'm expecting too much? Something more is going on? He doesn't like/thinks he can't spread butter on pancakes. He drips drinks and grunts/makes noises to get someone else to get him a napkin rather than picking up the one right in front of him.

He gets stuck, I need to help him get unstuck.
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Old 12-26-2014, 04:35 PM   #4
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Default Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper

One thing I have tried with nonverbal kids is to ask whether he wants a towel before going to get it...see if I can get a nod yes or headshake no...then brainstorm other ideas like needing a rinse, being cold, getting water or soap out of eyes, etc.

I might try re-wording the question..."What to you need me to help with?" instead of using the word "problem."

So very frustrating
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Old 12-26-2014, 05:20 PM   #5
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Default Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper

Gabriel was a slow verbal communicator mixed with acts of service primary love language.
Along with mild auditory processing issues and very very short attention span making teaching him to do things harder then with his 3yo brother.

It's been a mix of learning when he is asking because he is unsure how to do it himself, not sure what he was asked to do, can't remember what to do next, or he is emotionally drained and needs his love tank filled.

This sounds to me like a mix of several things.
sounds really frustrating.
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Old 01-03-2015, 11:59 AM   #6
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Default Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper

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Old 01-11-2015, 11:46 AM   #7
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Default Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper

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What if you came in the bathroom (or wherever) and just responded to the yelling instead of ready to try to fix a problem? For example:

MOOOOOOOM!!!! SOMEOOOONEEEE!!!!

Hi Toby! I heard you yelling so I came in here.

Then let him respond. Give him a minute to say something.

I've obviously spent a good amount of time with him as well and I seem to have like a 6th sense about things like spd, autism, etc. I don't get that with him at all either.

My thought from reading your post and seeing it IRL, I'd honestly give it a little LESS attention. Not ignore him or his needs at all, but less fuss about his actions and reactions. And less assumption about his needs? More time for him to express them himself?
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Old 01-11-2015, 04:43 PM   #8
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Default Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper

That reply above is weird. I typed a whole post. No wonder I didn't have any replies.
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Old 01-12-2015, 01:01 AM   #9
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Default Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Tickle Momster View Post
That reply above is weird. I typed a whole post. No wonder I didn't have any replies.
It happens. Computers are weird that way.
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Old 01-31-2015, 12:21 PM   #10
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Default Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper

Look into NLD (Nonverbal Language Disorder) as well. He might have a mild case. I would also try giving him a longer time to respond. When you finally figure out what he needs, perhaps script him to ask? He might not be able to get the words out.
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Old 01-31-2015, 05:11 PM   #11
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Default Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper

His current explanation is that he doesn't like to ask for things.

I'll look into the NLD.
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Old 01-31-2015, 07:51 PM   #12
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Default Re: How to live with a mini Sheldon Cooper

When my kids get really stuck we do our "hot chocolate" breathing, and then I try to change rooms with them into a new sensory environment. Doesn't have to be a major difference, just enough to jog their surroundings...often it gets them unstuck and we can move through. Drinking water can do that too.


Hot chocolate breathing: child holds imaginary mug of hot chocolate in front of their face...they slowly smell in the yummy hot chocolate and then gently blow on it to cool it down. 3 repetitions usually does it.
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