Positive Discipline - Week 9

[marigold]

Here we are at week 9 already Is anyone else struggling to remember the things from the previous weeks. I feel like I need to sit down and do a little reviewing. The charts seem to be helping the bedtime and getting ready for the day chores. I tell the kids it is time to do their charts and off they go. I don't need to constantly nag to get things done. I do need to remind them to keep working on things sometimes but it can be the chart's fault. We put make bed on the morning chart and although it may not be perfect the kids are currently proud of their new skill and doing it happily.
Here is this week's challenge: validate feelings.
http://blog.positivediscipline.com/2...iscipline.html

[homesteadmama]

This is good. And something I really need to get better at.

[charla]

[ShepherdsWife]

I really struggle with this one...I need to put a list of good feeling words to use up on my fridge or something. I usually end up always saying, "you seem upset" and I can't think of anything else to say in the moment. Feeling words are hard when we grew up without using them much.
I would also add that validating good/positive feelings is important to me as well. I struggle with showing my good feelings too. Too much "feeling" and showing it wasn't allowed so when I get super excited I feel really uncomfortable still if I show it very much. I want my kids to not be embarrassed to have a name for and show their positive feelings as well.

[marigold]

I have a hard time with this one too. I don't think that my parents knew what to do with my emotions when I was a kid so umm...it was better not to have them or to keep them to myself. My emotion of default if not good became angry. I have a hard time discerning why things make me so angry or thinking of what my children are truly feeling. I am slowly developing a more extensive repertoire though. I also never felt like my parents understood or care for me as a teenager and voila, today in my reading I find out that these are the main benefits of validating feelings.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog...hilds-feelings
I also really liked this article because it dealt with the follow through, what comes next...
http://greatergood.berkeley.edu/rais...s_in_the_histo
I also read an article about validating our husbands feelings. Definitely need to work on this one too.
http://unveiledwife.com/learning-val...ands-feelings/

[silverlining]

I need to work on this. Lately, DD has gotten so overly-dramatic about anything even remotely negative that I tend to either tune her out or try to make a joke out of it (which sometimes does help). I also do the "you can't be hungry; we just ate" thing rather than taking the time to help her figure out what's really going on.

Reading this caused me to remember observing a wise friend validating the emotions of a child who was greatly over-reacting to a situation. When I commented on it later, she responded, "the fear was real, even though the threat was not." I need to remember this the next time DD flies off the handle over something I perceive to be laughable.

[ShepherdsWife]

What are some great words you use to describe your feelings. I am trying to expand my vocabulary and get some more feeling words into use.

[marigold]

Angry, frustrated disappointed, hungry, sad, hurt (pain or feelings) are all negative ones that I've used. I need to work at labelling positive emotions as well such as (happy, excited, glad, important...)

[marigold]

Week 10 is up.

http://gentlechristianmothers.com/co...37#post5895637