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Old 02-22-2015, 07:40 AM   #1
Pilgrim
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Default The self-disciplined 3 year old ;)

I think of it (my thread title) every time my 3 year old tells me he is having a time out, which is what he calls his taking a break/calm down time. The first time it happened, he was frustrated with another child and ran off to a quiet spot at the park and sat down on a rock. When I asked him what he was doing, he said, "I'm having a time out! GO AWAY." So I gave him some space where he couldn't see me, but I could watch him. And then all was fine.

So in the past six months, he has had several time outs. He usually sits down and makes horrible grumpy faces, huffs, growls/grumbles, says ARRRGGG. And then he jumps up and we go about our day.

I find it hilarious and wonderful. The hilarious part is what people who overhear him saying he is having a TIME OUT! in the ice cream aisle must think. The wonderful part is him being able to deal in some way with disappointment/frustration that is not destructive. I still have a hard time with that. It might mean that we have to stand around in the freezer section for a few extra minutes, but most days I can handle that.

I'm really glad that I followed a link to this site and have been able to find so many resources about gentle parenting from it.
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O to grace how great a debtor
daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to Thee.

Last edited by Pilgrim; 02-22-2015 at 12:16 PM.
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Old 02-22-2015, 07:51 AM   #2
sunflowermom
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Default Re: The self-disciplined 3 year old ;)

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Old 02-22-2015, 07:52 AM   #3
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Default Re: The self-disciplined 3 year old ;)

Mine does similar. "I'm having PRIVACY! No one can see me!" She goes to her room and usually gets in bed and comes back calmed down. One of the hardest things for me now is advocating for her to have some quiet and space when we are out of the house and others want to "talk her down" or comfort her.
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Old 02-22-2015, 10:09 AM   #4
ArmsOfLove
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Default Re: The self-disciplined 3 year old ;)

Isn't it wonderful to experience a child who isn't caught in a punitive dynamic and who is learning to self-regulate? I loved when one of my children would say, around 18months to 3yo, "I'm not comfortable with that."

How safe it must feel to know that they can set boundaries for themselves and have them honored in ways that set them up for success
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Old 02-22-2015, 10:40 AM   #5
Aerynne
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Default Re: The self-disciplined 3 year old ;)

love it!!
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Old 02-22-2015, 12:41 PM   #6
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Default Re: The self-disciplined 3 year old ;)

There are still plenty of things to work on together, but it is one area where I feel like I'm doing something right, this type of discipline can work, etc.

And when I mean together, I mean it: I say something and then have to go back and explain that it's rude, etc. For example, I was slightly distracted and almost pushed the giant stroller into a clothes rack and said, "You should tell me to Get with the Program, Mama!" And then, thinking about how he might tell me to Get with the Program in the future...said, "Or not, because that's not really a polite way to ask someone to focus on what they need to do."

It's like a giant spotlight on how we're not very nice people sometimes ("Why are you laughing?" Truthful answer: "We're laughing because someone got what they deserved/had an unfortunate incident and we don't like that person, so we're glad." I didn't say that, but I had a long think about it.), although it does make me think about how to improve my behavior.
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O to grace how great a debtor
daily I’m constrained to be!
Let Thy goodness, like a fetter,
bind my wandering heart to Thee.

Last edited by Pilgrim; 02-22-2015 at 12:53 PM.
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Old 02-23-2015, 02:17 AM   #7
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Default Re: The self-disciplined 3 year old ;)

You have a lovely little fellow .
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